Then came the telephone, with its squawking ring and jangling ear piece. People could communicate with each other without the handwritten word. Fast forward a hundred years to most people unable to write a legible note. (This is me, raising my hand.) Communication now speeds along fiber-optics straight into our brains.

The cost of speed? An eternal buzz we get off information, which to some equates to nothing less than the complete sizzling of our brains. Don’t you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling that you might just possibly dissolve into a pile of updates if you read one more status line?

Sure, it’s great to reconnect with old friends and stay up-to-date on the news. But for some, social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter can take a life of their own. You start moving among them like a virtual extension of yourself. You start losing the ability to walk in sunlight. You start sticking to your office chair.

It just might be time for a social media detox. This entails some time away from your blog, Twitter, Facebook, email, StumbleUpon, Digg, and any other site that requires a password or worse, a sassy pseudonym. You might have to ask a friend to change your passwords, unplug your computer, and help you step away from the laptop and/or iPhone.

If any of the following rings true, turn over your passwords and take at least a day away. Your brain will detox, your back will stretch, and you will party like its 1999.

1. You are so used to your Twitter feed for news that you consider things that happened 3 hours ago as wildly ancient.

2. You have to sneak into the other room to check your social media outlets because your significant other thinks you’re obsessed. Because you are. And you know it. But doesn’t everyone check Twitter in the dark of a closet behind several old bridesmaids dresses?

3. You discover that you won’t brush your hair to leave the house, but you will do it for Skype.

4. Something funny/scary/thrilling happens to you and you immediately start crafting it into a Facebook status line.

5. You get into flame wars at least once a week. See a complete definition of “flame wars” or “flaming” here. See also: Dealing with rage issues.

6. Scrolling through the wedding pictures of a friend of a friend has replaced spending an evening with your own significant other. Also, your human connections can’t remember the last time they spoke to you face to face.

7. And finally, do you really need to know the weekend plans of someone you knew 20 years ago? Do you?

Want to read more about withdrawing from social media? Take a gander at our recent look at social media: No If or Buts About It: Why We Have to Disconnect.

Image: John Maddin

The post 7 Signs You Need a Social Media Detox appeared first on EcoSalon.

Girlfriends, gal pals, best buds, besties, and forever friends – many of us have them. But what does it mean to have a lifelong friend? Is it a person who will listen for hours as you mutually discuss the ins and out of hair color/bad reality TV/do these shoes make me look leggy? Or is it the person who remembers you were jealous because she turned 13 a month before you did? How do you know when an acquaintance of a few months will be a forever friend?

For me, it’s about checking out the guest list for this big party I’m throwing because my boyfriend and I are planning on hanging around each other for the rest of our lives. (Yes, a wedding. I’m not very bridey.) It reads like “this is your chicken or fish for dinner life.” There’s the best friend I walked around the playground with in second grade. Then there’s the best friend who helped me throw a Christmas tree out a window in college. It was our stolen Christmas tree, we were repossessing it. The window was our faster option.

There’s the bestie I met in the elevator at graduate school the first day of class. There’s the one who discovered alongside me the dangers of drinking this new-fangled Red Bull drink. And there’s the one whose babies I bounce around, trying not to eat them because they are the cutest creatures on the planet.

Point is, they can’t all be best friends, right? Somehow, they all feel like they are. Forever friends can be a big part or our lives. Glenn Sparks is a professor at Purdue University who has studied lifelong friends. Making friends is like managing a bank account. You must make investments, and it is never too early to start.”

Here are a few signs that you’ve got a forever friend on your hands.

1. You keep a constant mental list going of life events that must be discussed for opinion. Go to eat a bowl of cereal and find that it’s crawling with ants? Relatives stressing you out about holidays? Work associate dangerously close to getting pushed out a first-story window? These are all thing that must be reported via phone, over tea, or in front of French fries.

2. You can send an email or text in code and she will know exactly what you are talking about. “Lost Prague-trip friend’s nail polish, feel like Jeff-ing a cupcake-izer.” Somewhere, a woman knows exactly what this means.

3. After an important weekend event, you will schedule time on Monday for the necessary time to rehash it.

4. When you and your best friend start riffing on a subject, dogs will run from the room. High pitched screams of laughter are not friendly to canine’s ears. (This is also true of most significant others.)

5. If you fight, you don’t hold a grudge. I know, controversial, because all relationships have their ups and downs. But how can you forever hate the person who picked you up from the junk yard after you totaled your Previa? You just can’t.

6. You might disagree politically, religiously, or Twilight-y (as in one lust for Edward, the other doesn’t get the appeal at all. Like, AT ALL). But it doesn’t matter. You’re still friends.

7. You can repeat the same stories to each other over and over again. It’s kind of like watching a rerun – sure, you know the plot, but you’re happy to pick up something new every time.

8. You defend your best friend from herself, and you do it because you can’t bear to hear anything bad said about her. A friend worried because she’s not losing the pregnancy weight? It’s because she just gave life to another human being for God’s sake. Only tabloid stars lose all the baby weight and that’s because it was plastic surgeries that took over their bodies seconds after their child was born. You’re beautiful and don’t you dare say otherwise! (And repeat because it’s true.)

9. You get a call in the middle of the night with sobs on the other end, and you sit up until dawn if that’s what it takes.

10. You both maintain that PMS is a post-feminist myth made up by a right-winged agenda designed to keep women out of the Oval Office. And yet, you both know and totally get it when you are.

Image: The Dana Files

The post Besties: 10 Signs of a Forever Female Friendship appeared first on EcoSalon.

Remember those hours-long couch make-out sessions when you were a teenager? They were good for you (if not so great for poor Mom and Dad).

Here I’ve been promoting having plenty of healthy sex and forgetting about what comes first. Great sex starts with great kissing. Although my husband and I have grown from hot ‘n heavy brand new lovers to a much deeper relationship, we still enjoy lots of intense, intimate kisses – the ones where our lips taste irresistibly good to each other and we need to taste a little more. You all know what I’m talkin’ about.

Just like laughter, kissing is a fantastic medicine. When done right with someone you care about, kissing creates a rush of well-being, closeness and just warms your heart. That sensual feeling has the power to melt away the tensions of the day and put you deliciously into the present moment. And in the subtle world of Tantra, kissing connects the energetic circuits between the partners and is essential to creating energetic union.

You’ll be interested to know that kissing releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and dopamine, which brings about feelings of happiness and euphoria. And if you really want a practical angle on it, swapping saliva and sharing germs can help boost your immune system – but make sure you know who you’re kissing!

So don’t skimp on the kissing in a mad rush to get on with the rest of it – you might be missing out on what makes it all so good to begin with.

(Learn more about healthy, fulfilling, earth-friendly, body-friendly sex.)

Image: Daniel & Carla

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I, like 1 in 3 Americans, have suffered panic attacks in my life, and I’ll never forget how real and overpowering the fear was, paralyzing in its strength. Symptoms of a panic attack include shortness of breath, a choking feeling, dizziness and feelings of disconnectedness from reality and losing control. It is an absolutely terrifying experience. But if you understand how a panic attack works, you can also learn how to stop it in its tracks.

You see, panic is a natural response to a perceived emergency and helps with the fight-or-flight survival instinct. Rest assured that you’re not crazy. But if you feel the panic rising and you know the emergency isn’t immediately life-threatening (like a car coming right at you, or being inside a burning building), you can take control before the symptoms take control of you.

Make the intention to STOP. You’ve got to decide that you can overcome the rush of adrenaline and if possible, put your hands out in front of you and say out loud “STOP!” in a very firm voice. Remember, you are in control, not your emotions.
Refocus your energy. Don’t let yourself follow the train of panicky thoughts. Instead, reign them in and do some kind of simple, repetitive activity to occupy yourself. Wash the dishes, pull weeds, do sit-ups or any other simple activity that doesn’t require mental concentration.
Breathe. Take control of your breath. Breathe slowly, deeply, from the diaphragm. If you’ve ever been to a yoga class, this is the time to make use of the deep, intentional breathing you learned. Your belly should move with your breath.

Accept your feelings. Once you’ve calmed down, take a look at what triggered your panic attack. There’s something very real there that’s bothering you, and your body is telling you that you need to take some action. But appropriate action can only be taken from a calm, settled state of mind.

Again, the important thing to remember is that panic is your body’s hormonal response to a perceived emergency and that it will pass, usually in just a few minutes. You’re not dying, you’re not going crazy, and you can take control. Please let us know about any other tips that have worked for you.

Image: star5112

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Fuller breasts, a smaller tush, flatter tummy – all without a diet or breaking a sweat. That’s what cosmetic surgery can do, and mainstream magazines are happily filling pages in their publications with information about it.

A recent issue of  Women’s Health Issues, a Canadian-based medical journal, took a closer look at what the media is sharing with their readers. The study, entitled: “Representations of Cosmetic Surgery and Emotional Health in Women’s Magazines in Canada”, examines how popular women’s magazines portray cosmetic surgery and associated emotional health.

Five English-language women‘s magazines were selected on the basis of their 2005 Canadian circulation rates: Chatelaine, Cosmopolitan, Flare, O: The Oprah Magazine, and Prevention.

While the content analysis showed that the articles did in fact tend to present readers with detailed physical health risk information, only 48 percent of the articles discussed the impact that cosmetic surgery has on emotional health. Most often the stories linked cosmetic surgery with enhanced emotional well-being regardless of the patient’s pre-existing mental state. Articles also tended to use male accounts to provide defining standards of female attractiveness.

According to the Canadian Society for Aesthetic (Cosmetic) Plastic Surgery (2007), the term “cosmetic surgery” refers to invasive surgical procedures such as breast implants, liposuction, or facelifts. Distinct from reconstructive surgery, which aims to fix body disfigurement, cosmetic surgery is used to alter “normal” and physically healthy bodies.

A 2007 Canadian consumer survey revealed that 20.35% of respondents had undergone cosmetic surgery and 46% would consider surgery to change some aspect of their appearance.

The findings were consistent with arguments in research literature that women‘s magazines contribute to the medicalization of the female body; that cosmetic surgery is generally portrayed as a risky but worthwhile option for women to enhance both their physical appearance and emotional health.

According to the study, some research has found positive correlations between cosmetic surgery and emotional well-being, suggesting that cosmetic procedures increase body image satisfaction and produce psychological benefits that improve one’s overall quality of life. However other studies have shown that emotional health problems, such as anxiety and depression, may arise or become amplified in some patients as a consequence of cosmetic surgery; that body image dissatisfaction may increase after surgery, and that breast implant recipients are at increased risk for psychiatric admission and suicide.

Implications for future research and public education strategies were discussed.

Image: Bitter Jug

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