Column If we want to talk about more cooking at home, we also have to talk about sexism.

I have always been an advocate of cooking. If there is one thing you can do to better your diet and better your food choices, I really do believe it’s opting to make your own food at home.

There’s a current trend in food media that echoes this sentiment: Michael Pollan’s most recent book “Cooked”, food television shows devoted to quick and easy food preparation, and every single blog devoted to making your own yogurt/butter/kombucha/almond butter/kale infused anything.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that the entire population is making a mad dash for the kitchen. All this talk of going back to the kitchen can be a big pressure on working families. As a friend of mine, a mother of two, put it recently, “I do my best but never feel good enough.” And this is coming from a woman who knows how to cook, is devoted to shopping locally whenever possible and whose favorite cookbook is from the 1970s and all about putting more sustainable meals on the table. But the pressure is there, because the reality is that cooking and making our own food takes time.

But why is it that women feel this pressure more than men? Why is it that most food media is devoted to headlines like “10 Easy Meals For the Busy Mom” or, even worse, “Easy Outfits to Transition from the Kitchen to Hostess”. No really, I have read several of those.

The answer is that the world of food is dealing with some serious issues of sexism.

In the food world, chefs gain celebrity status, and those chefs tend to be male. Take a look at any chef roundup recently and take note of how many women are mentioned. But if men reign in the flashy world of food, women reign in everything else. We are after all the ones usually putting food on the table at home. We are the ones that make sure that our families eat three times a day, every day of the week. When you cook in this way, you don’t have time to make it artistry.

Recently, I came across an image of the cover of “Quick Dinners for Women in a Hurry,” a book published in 1942. Ah, the 1940s and 1950s, when advertising was overtly sexist and the only role for a woman was in the kitchen. Yet in our modern, presumedly more progressive era, have we really moved so far away from this? Sure, such a title would never fly with today’s cookbook publishing houses, but the reality is that it’s still mostly women that are bearing the brunt of putting food on the table everyday. And they get zero credit for it.

A New York Times article, titled “When Their Workday Ends, More Fathers Are Heading Into the Kitchen,” took a look at exactly this question. As the New York Times reported, “Michael M. Rooke-Ley, a retired law professor in Eugene, Ore., echoed those concerns, noting that “a 1950s ethic still prevails” at times, even when both parents work. ‘In these outposts of gender-based tradition,’ Mr. Rooke-Ley said, ‘Dad needs to get off the couch!'”

While the number of men in household kitchens is up – 29 percent of men spent time in the kitchen in 1965, in 2008 it was 42 percent – women still devote double the amount of time to food and drink preparation than their male counterparts.

I am not saying men don’t cook. I am in a 50/50 relationship when it comes to making food with my partner; and he’s not just putting frozen pizza in the oven. But there’s no denying that this issue of sexism is deeply seated. On some level, we still have the image of a woman in an apron and the man with a martini.

Let me put it another way: if it’s still revolutionary enough for men to be cooking, so much so that it necessitates a New York Times article, you can be sure that the problem hasn’t gone away. There’s plenty of sexism in kitchens, and in the world of food in general.

If we are going to talk about getting more people back in the kitchen, the conversation needs to be inclusive. It shouldn’t be just women feeling this pressure to buy better products and cook more meals at home. Both genders need to be empowered to take part in the everyday, boring cooking. Not just the sexier, dinner party throwing, look-at-the-12-course-meal-I-made-for-Saturday night type of cooking.

Related on EcoSalon

RENDER, The Food Magazine for Feminists is Here

Feminism in the Kitchen: Foodie Underground

11 Awesome (Female) Chefs Who Are Changing the World of Food

This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’ weekly column at EcoSalon: Foodie Underground, an exploration of what’s new and different in the underground movement, and how we make the topic of good food more accessible to everyone. More musings on the topic can be found at www.foodieunderground.com.

Image: Seattle Municipal Archives

The post The Sexism of Food and Our Kitchens: Foodie Underground appeared first on EcoSalon.

Column Until we remove the stigma around feminism and stop creating barriers between each other, we’re not going to achieve equality, no matter how far in we may lean.

The first act of feminism I witnessed was mortifying. I was at my Brownie Fly-Up ceremony, the celebration of our troop graduating from Brownies to Girl Scouts. There we were. On stage. And the leaders of all of the local troops were supposed to sing us a song before we walked the ceremonial bridge over a mirror, which is actually a little creepy when you think about it, to become Girl Scouts. I watched in horror as our leaders—one of whom was my own mother—stood silently staring into the crowd. Not singing.

Suddenly, Troop 310 was walking the plank. I glared at my mom and asked why she had done that to me. She replied, “Did you listen to the words of the song?” I had not.

It was a cheery rhyming number, the gist of which was that while we failed at everything from tent-pitching to sports, they were letting us graduate anyway. I looked for this song in the official Girl Scout songbook and came up empty. It was probably a local specialty.

At the time, I cared very little about the words and just wanted my mom to have sung and shut up about it. On the way home, we had a long talk about what it would have meant. I lived in a house where Ms. Magazine sat comfortably on the table with an assortment of novels, the New Yorker and newspapers. I distinctly remember an intimidatingly heavy-looking book called Backlash on the table for a while. When my mom explained why the song was wrong, I got it. I was still pissed because, at eight, being embarrassed is about the worst thing possible. But I got it: As a feminist, you don’t belittle yourself and your friends. This is a lesson I have had to relearn many, many times.

And it’s a lesson that seems to be getting lost with this new generation of feminism. This wave (I forget how many waves we’ve had at this point) started last year with Anne-Marie Slaughter’s article in The Atlantic: Why Women Still Can’t Have It All. Talk about backlash.

Cut to today. Marissa Mayer doesn’t identify as a feminist and is, I think, just trying to do her job. But she has been repeatedly criticized for not being a role model for real women, especially the working kind. Then we have Sheryl Sandberg a self-defined feminist starting a deliberate movement.

The criticism of Sandberg has been severe. She doesn’t understand real women. She’s judging us for not working hard enough. She doesn’t get what it takes to make it when you’re not the COO of Facebook (though I would argue that getting to that point in her own career means that she most certainly does get it). We’re picking her apart.

These new voices in mainstream conversations about feminism have a lot in common, which they talk openly about: they are wealthy, straight, attractive, white women. This is the same problem Gloria Steinem faced in the ’70s. Despite the progress Steinem made, she was accused of not understanding the plight of everyone else, of creating an elitist, exclusive movement dedicated to the advancement of a few. Sounds a lot like what people are saying about Sandberg’s book and social campaign, Lean In. Have we not progressed at all?

Once again, we are undermining ourselves because we don’t see ourselves directly reflected in Sandberg’s mirror. But, while our finances might look different, Sandberg argues that we all face the same struggle. In her recent 60 Minutes interview, she says that as women we all learned to downplay our accomplishments from a young age (hell, some of us were even encouraged to celebrate our alleged failures in song). Girls who displayed leadership skills were deemed bossy; as we get older bossy becomes bitchy. She notes that women hold themselves back to avoid these negative stereotypes. While we hold ourselves back, we also take down those women who don’t.

Sandberg is not saying, “Lean in and be me,” but she only has her own life experience to draw from. She’s saying, lean into your own life and ask for whatever it is that you want or need. And yes, it will be easier for women with supportive partners and good jobs. The best response, I think, to her advice about work is Jody Greenstone Miller’s piece in the Wall Street Journal: It’s about changing the structure of the American workday so that all people—parents and singles alike—can have a fulfilling life outside of work. Figure out a way to let people who don’t have Sandberg’s advantages leave work at 5:30, too.

There are many women (and men) just struggling to get by who might look at all of this and say, this isn’t about me. But it is. Feminism has long been about giving a voice to those who are silenced, and Sandberg has the stage. She acknowledges her status and said during the 60 Minutes interview, “Yes, it’s easier for me to say this, and that’s why I am saying it.”

It’s time we stop shooting the messenger and listen to her message. It’s time to stop saying, “I’m not a feminist, but of course I believe I deserve to have a place at whatever table I’m sitting at. I’m not a feminist, but I should be paid as much as my male counterpart. I’m not a feminist, but I think women are equal to men.” It’s long-past time to remove the stigma around feminism, stop creating barriers between each other, and get down to the real conversations about equality at work and at home. As long as we separate ourselves because of a word, we’re not going to achieve equality no matter how far in we may lean.

Image: Lean In

The post That Happened: Feminism According to Sheryl Sandberg appeared first on EcoSalon.

The new workplace sexism is less overt and, studies suggest, reflective of the boss’ marriage.

Just when I was getting used to the same old sexism at work—being called “girl” and knowing I have made less money than some of my male counterparts—it seems there’s a new breed of discrimination at work. It’s less overt, but does just as much to keep women from advancing in their careers.

What’s happening, according to four studies by researchers based at Harvard, NYU and the University of Utah and published under the title, “Marriage Structure and Resistance to the Gender Revolution in the Workplace” is that male leaders—Fewer than five percent of Fortune 500 CEOs are women—are treating their female co-workers the same way they treat their wives. There are a number of problems with this, aside from the initial uncomfortable factor.

Here’s what researchers found: “Husbands embedded in traditional and neo-traditional marriages [relative to husbands embedded in modern ones—modern being defined as both partners working outside of the home and helping with domestic labor] exhibit attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that undermine the role of women in the workplace.”

Here’s what that means for you. You know that guy at work who leaves his dishes in the sink expecting that the assistant (usually a younger woman) will wash them? He does that crap at home too, and his wife is cool with it. Or, maybe he’ll put you on a pedestal, “protecting” you from stressful meetings (aka the ones that actually matter) or withhold information that might be “upsetting” given that you’re a delicate flower. Being shut out means you don’t meet the game-changers, and you’re not considered to be one. Or, let’s say the guy in charge of salaries has a wife that doesn’t work, there could be an underlying assumption that you have someone supporting you, and therefore don’t need to make as much money as the boys.

Which is total bullshit on a number of levels.

We are underpaid—we make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes. As a reminder, the year is 2012. Over the course of our careers, we can expect can expect to lose $431,000 because of the earnings gap.

We don’t live in a world where salary is based on need. However, looking at the stats about pay for working women, it seems that perceived need is a huge issue—and these new studies offer one explanation for why you might have a smaller paycheck than the guy in the next cube. If your CEO’s wife doesn’t work or has a part-time job not out of necessity but so she can feel empowered when buying $100 yoga pants, the perception could be that you too are working for spending money, not supporting yourself money.

Your salary should never be based on what your partner makes, whether you have one or not. Your salary should be based on the following: The job title and description, your experience, your education, your skills, how good you are at your job and the market value of what you do in the city or town you’re doing it in. That’s it.

This newly defined kind of sexism is very different from your 1950s secretary being chased around the desk. What is happening today is so ingrained that some men don’t even see that they are doing it, which is pretty scary.

So, what should women do? When being interviewed by a man is it important to ask if he ever does the dinner dishes? Is it cool to say, “What does your wife do?” and run screaming if she happens to be a stay-at-home mom? I don’t think that’s the answer—though if I have the chance to ask in casual conversation I am totally going to.

Start by being on the lookout for this kind of behavior and remind yourself that you might be married to your job, but you never agreed to be married to your boss. Hold the people leading your company accountable for both overt and subtle sexism—and stand up for yourself. I say no when a male co-worker asks me to, essentially, take a memo (as a note, memo-taking is a fine thing to do but not part of my job description) and I mention it when the same people (men—none of the women in any of the offices I have personally worked in seem to do this) leave their dishes in the sink day after day.

There’s a risk in saying no. There’s a risk in the making the non-joking joke about the dirty dishes. I am sure some people think I’m a bitch. I’ll take bitch over pushover any day.

Photo: Jerry Bunkers

The post Working Girl to Work Wife: Sexism at Work appeared first on EcoSalon.

A round-up of what we’re reading right now.

How email, IM, Twitter, and Facebook are keeping you from what’s really important. [via Harvard Business Review]

As one college senior prepares to enter the adult world, she’s asking herself big questions – like which cast iron pan should she buy for her first kitchen? [via Food52]

Both men and women objectify women, according to a recent study. [via The Atlantic]

How one doctor-cum-street-artist is bringing art and inspiration to a Navajo reservation. [via Adventure Journal]

Researchers tested how the brain reacts when you love someone with all your might. The results may surprise you. [via The Frisky]

Behold, the perfect tofu sandwich. [via Big Girls Small Kitchen]

Image: A . FRST

The post Link Love: Twitter and Tofu appeared first on EcoSalon.