Make New Year’s resolutions that matter because you only live once.

With the new year approaching, you may be tempted to give into making lame New Year’s resolutions. Don’t do it. Losing weight, becoming more organized, and saving more money are just overrated. These are the kind of resolutions that we all are doomed to fail at because they are super boring and just don’t capture the imagination. Instead, choose alternative resolutions that are outside your comfort zone and inspire you to try something new. While there is value in saving money and getting healthier, the start of a new year is time for bigger stuff.

7 Alternative New Year’s Resolutions

1. Become an expert. Commit to beginning the journey of becoming an expert this year. It’s said it takes 10 years of practice and study to become an expert. Whether it’s gardening, playing chess, or beekeeping, take up something with the goal of making it to expert status in 10 years.
2. Literary travel. Follow the protagonist of your favorite book and make a pilgrimage to the setting featured in the book. Whether it’s Northern California from “Sideways” or Savannah, GA from “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil,” travel to the place from your favorite book.
   
3. Learn to say “yes” more often. As a person who used to say no to plans and opportunities, I started saying yes more, and it’s changed my life. Learning to say yes can take lead you down unexpected paths. Give it a try this year and see if it works for you.
4. Reskill. Reskilling is about becoming a more resilient and self-reliant person, helping to create a more sustainable future and learning to appreciate “lost” skills, like home canning, gardening, beekeeping, home brewing, and more. Give it a try this year.
5. Give into your desire to become a crazy cat lady, within reason of course. If you have a living situation that allows you to have cats, why not add 1 or 2 more, as long you can afford to care for them. Be proud of your cat lady status. Own it.
6. Get involved. Whether you decide to fight City Hall or Congress, stop being an armchair activist, take up a cause, and get actively engaged in making a difference in your community or the world.
7. Try something new–every week. Whether it’s trying a new food, finally taking up yoga, reading a new genre, or volunteering at the local food bank, commit to giving something new a try each week in the new year.

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It’s that time of year again–when we resolve to make drastic and mostly superficial changes in our lives. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The New Year can be a time when we set smart goals towards meaningful changes in our lives that we actually keep.

This 5 Step Guide of smart goals forces you to look a little deeper at why you makes the life decisions that you do especially when they don’t serve you.

5 Smart Goals for Making Meaningful Changes in 2014

1. Change only one thing at a time.

Pick one area of your life in which to focus. If you try and change too much at one time you’ll end up frustrated and exhausted. In my own life, gradual changes have really been the only ones that actually stick. Whether it be vegetarianism, eating organic, yoga, or meditation–all of the lasting changes in my life have been gradual.

2. Identify why you want to change.

Superficial changes are much less likely to stick. Why do you really want to change? Why is a particular behavior not working? What aspects of drinking too much are bothersome? Why does eating too many sweets hurt you in the end? Take a closer look at why you would like to give a behavior up.

3. How does a current behavior help you?

Just because you find a certain seemingly negative behavior helpful doesn’t mean that it’s good for you. But even still, there’s a reason why you’re doing it. What benefit does your current behavior serve in your life? This way you can find a substitute for the feeling this behavior provides.

4. Don’t run away from discomfort.

Now that you’ve identified both the good and the bad reasons why you do something, be mindful when you get the urge to submit to a bad habit. Can you sit with the discomfort that giving up a habit brings you? Maybe you overeat when you’re stressed or have a glass of wine. Instead, can you just sit with the feeling of anxiety or stress?

5. Avoid the naysayers.

If you’re trying to make meaningful changes in your life, stay away from the naysayers–those who prefer that things stay at homeostasis. Certain people around you may benefit from the way things are even if your bad habit is a part of it.

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Are your New Year’s resolutions realistic?

As 2013 comes to an end there’s one question at hand: are you going to make a list of resolutions?

While New Year’s resolutions are admirable – making an effort to make positive changes in our lives is certainly a good thing – often we make ones we can’t keep. “Eat better” or “be healthier” aren’t realistic resolutions as they don’t have any parameters. How do you measure your success? Set up a resolution that you can’t keep and you won’t get the benefit of succeeding.

About 45 percent of Americans make resolutions, but only about 8 percent actually keep them. Looking to make some resolutions for the new year? Here are some that are good for you, the environment and the community, and that you can adapt according to your own needs to ensure that you are successful in the new year.

1. I will take one evening a week to unplug

I mean no iPhone, no iPad, no social media, not TV. Nothing. Read a book. Write a letter. Draw a picture. Sit and think.

2. I will go one month without buying anything new

Try to not buy anything new during the month of January. Groceries don’t count of course! If you succeed in January, try again in February. The goal is to reconnect to your consumption habits; we all could do with buying less, and when we do feel the need to buy something, why not buy something second hand? It’s more economical and environmentally friendly.

3. I will eat one, two, three or even more, additional vegetarian meals a week

We all know that we should be eating less meat, so in 2014 if you’re not a strict vegetarian, commit to it! Choose a number of meals per week that you can realistically go 100 percent meatless and to make things easier, plan out those meals in advance.

4. I will look at hangtags and have that guide my shopping decisions

Want to do something to change the world of fast fashion? Look at your hangtags and think about the purchases you are making. If it helps, make a list of places you don’t want to be buying from.

5. I will not eat at fast food restaurants

It’s 2014, people, you should have stopped doing this a long time ago anyway.

6. I will incorporate a daily morning routine of meditation/breathing/yoga/stretching

No one is asking you to run a marathon (although if you want to do that this year, that’s a great goal), just plan out a short morning routine to get you going. After a few weeks of a daily practice, you’ll be surprised at how much your body craves it.

7. I will explore one new place a month

You don’t have to travel across the world to have an adventure. Commit to exploring in your own neighborhood, be it a new park, restaurant or even just a street you have never walked down.

8. I will smile more

It is proven to make you happier after all. Try one smile at a stranger per day and just see how much better you feel.

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On letting go of your dreams.

Louise* and Lance* were best friends. Just friends, never so much as smooched. They were roommates, they got drunk at concerts together, they slept in the same tent, exchanged great Christmas presents. Lance dated other people. Louise was in love with Lance. Plain as day, we all could see it. Well, maybe someday Lance will get it.

Twelve years went by. New partners and holidays came and went. It was good n’ truly time for Louise to lay down the torch. She decided make a pitch. This is the crescendo of all romantic comedies where the protagonist decides to go for it:

It is 4 a.m. and we’ve all been dancing at a fabulous wedding. Louise and Lance are slow dancing as the DJ starts packing up. There is a small audience of us in the corner table balancing Stella bottles and wearing neckties around our heads. “Oh…my…I think she’s going for it,” one of the cast says. We lean in to gawk, trying to read their lips.

Sure enough, with heart in hand and Cabernet courage, Louise makes her overture. Do you think we could make a go of it? Lance listened. He’s a great guy. He listened softly. And softly he said: “If it were going to happen, it would have happened by now.”

Truth bomb. Gently dropped.

If it were going to happen, it would have happened by now.

Even destiny has an expiry date. This is such primal wisdom. I’m all for relentless dreaming and fierce faith. But if you’re spending an overly long time trying to wish, hammer, hope, push and ploy things into form, maybe it’s time to point your dream in another direction. If a crop isn’t growing, the farmer doesn’t keep wasting water and fertilizer on it. He yanks it out, tills the soil and plants a whole new kind of seed.

Let ’em go. Kill the project. Shut down a division. And take that same longing for love, or creative fulfillment, or phat cash and face forward!

Here’s the key dance move:

Hold on to the core desire of the dream – that feeling you want to feel when the dream is realized, but shift to a wholly new target. Change directions and a new form of satisfaction could be right around the corner.

…just like it was for Louise. She got on with her life. And fell in love with someone who fell crazy in love with her – easy breezy and right away.

*names have been changed to protect the identity of the temporarily heartbroken.

Editor’s Note: Danielle LaPorte is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, which has been called “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.” She is the author of The Fire Starter Sessions: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs, an inspirational speaker, former think tank exec, and news show commentator. You can read all of Danielle’s EcoSalon guest articles here, and find her on Twitter @daniellelaporte.

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