This list is for the ladies who are too tired to go out this week. (I’m currently suffering from straight-up-tired syndrome, so I feel ya, girls.) This week, we’ve rounded up 5 streaming rom-com movies that are funny, sweet and that good kind of cheesy you need to make for a great, girls’ night in.

Streaming on Netflix (free with a subscription)

1. “Don Jon”

This romantic comedy is a tad… odd. But remember: Odd can be good! The film tells the story of a young man with a porn addiction, and a young woman with a romantic comedy addiction. Needless to say, the couple has to deal with more than a few hurdles as they attempt to try to form a healthy relationship.

2. “Can’t Hardly Wait”

When I saw this film was available, I squealed so loud it woke my sleeping beagle. Now, this movie is by no means amazing, but it’s a fun, cheesy, teen-tinged romantic romp that should serve as a bit of nostalgia for the ladies who grew up during the ’90s.

Streaming on Amazon Prime (free with a subscription)

3. “Dirty Dancing”

For the record: I have not seen this classic film. However, I’ve heard so many people say it’s the queen of rom-com movies that I know I need to give this classic ’80s film a try. I mean, who doesn’t get into a love story about a chick who falls in love with her dance teacher?

Streaming on Vudu (available to rent)

4.” Crazy, Stupid, Love”

Whenever I’m feeling down, I pop in this film. It’s funny, smart and gives my heart that happy weightless feeling. The film follows a 40-something man as he copes with the news of his wife’s recent affair. Luckily, this sad sack runs into a kind ladies man who helps him get his groove back.

5. “Her Alibi”

This quirky and cute romantic comedy is about an almost washed-up writer who houses a seemingly dangerous woman, all in the efforts to reignite his writing bug. While he does, in fact, start writing again, he soon discovers that his new housemate has even more secrets than he originally thought.

Related on EcoSalon

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Broke? 20 Fun Things to Do Without Spending a Dime

Image: Gabriel Saldana

The post From ‘Dirty Dancing’ to ‘Don Jon’: 5 Streaming Rom-Com Movies for Your Next Girls’ Night In appeared first on EcoSalon.

Contrary to popular belief, fighting with your beau can make your relationship stronger – below, our guide on how to fight like a pro. (You’re welcome.)

Suppressing emotions is a fine art that’s been cultivated in my family for generations and explains why I’m so comfortable in the role of reclusive spinster. It also totally explains my string of epic fail relationships, since I never learned one of the most important ingredients to successful coupling: how to fight.

Many of us avoid fighting the same way we avoid mullet-guy at the bar, but why? Fighting equals intimacy (at least, when we know how to fight constructively). It shows that you care enough about the relationship to not write it off as soon as disagreements bubble to the surface.

When learning how to fight as a couple, the first step is letting go of the preconceived notion that fighting is synonymous with anger. Once you’re able to take anger out of the equation, your spat will become productive instead of turning into a Jerry Springer episode.

If you’re ready to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee (and, you know, make up afterward), here’s how to fight while still playing fair:

1. Know what you want.
Unless you know what you want by the end of the fight, there’s no point in having the fight at all.

2. Deal with it stat.
Deal with things as they bother you. Don’t let them fester – otherwise, you’ll end up like me, still irked by crap that happened five years ago (I wish I was joking). Meg Ryan put it best in French Kiss:

A healthy person is someone who expresses their feelings… Express, not repress… You know what happens to people who shut everybody out? They fester. Inside. Fester and rot.

In other words, don’t go silent or leave passive-aggressive notes. Be an adult, and use your words. Right now, while you still have a good idea of what’s bothering you (see #1).

3. No interruptions. No exceptions.
No TV, no texting, no phone calls, no nothing until the issue is resolved. It’s how to fight 101: Why drag it on longer than you need to?

4. Talk among yourselves.
Going to your BFF for advice is one thing – bitching to everyone you come in contact with (including your mailman) about the 3,423 ways he drives you crazy is quite another. The more people you involve in your problems, the bigger your problems will become. Do everything possible to keep the argument contained between the two of you.

5. Don’t lash out.
During my days of emotional suppression, my bf and I were terrible at this. Since we didn’t know how to fight, we’d just mak heated comments under our breath. What’s worse, those heated comments always involved the aspects of ourselves that made us vulnerable and self-conscious to the other. If you’re a fan of self-esteem and dignity, I don’t recommend this tactic. Which brings us to…

6. Don’t sling mud.
Your relationship isn’t a political ad – character assassination has never and will never have anything to do with the argument at hand. If something from the past is still bothering you, but you’ve been pretending you’re fine, the onus is completely on you.

7. No blaming.
I don’t need to explain why this is a bad idea, do I? If so, I might need to write an entirely different article.

8. Agree to disagree.
News flash: couples don’t have to agree on everything. You’ll either find common ground or you won’t. As long as you understand each other’s perspectives and respect the stance each of you are taking, there’s no reason to create a rift about it.

9. Take a breather.
If you feel a broken vase coming on, it’s best to take time apart to cool off. It’ll give you time to regroup, put your emotions into words, and re-evaluate the situation calmly.

10 Don’t go Ice Queen.
It may have worked on your parents when you wanted a new pair of pumps, but it’s better to leave this strategy in your teens. You don’t want him to avoid looking at you for fear he’ll turn to stone (crap, I’m mixing up metaphors).

Have you mastered how to fight in your relationship?

Related on EcoSalon:

10 Signs It’s Time to Leave Your Relationship

Going All In: 7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Why Fighting Is Healthy

Image: hang_in_there

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ColumnIs it possible to fall in love while still retaining your freedom?

This week I received a philosophically-compelling letter from a friend back in the States. This year, like me, she has elected to be single after a long term relationship and has been savoring the sweetness of her alone time. This isn’t to say that her experience has been a flipping frolic in the rhododendrons, but rather that she has been pleased to witness her own strength, gratified by her solitude, and keen on exploring her self-sovereignty.

She has indulged in a few one-night stands, finding fresh encounters with new men both purgative and healing, but she has recently found herself in the awkward position of falling in love when it’s the last thing she was looking for. The guy is a formidable mind, severely handsome and a leader in his community, and their intimacy is the product of respect and mutuality. My friend, who has for the past few months been so emboldened by her single status, is quite rightly freaking out. She is not interested in giving up a good thing like her freedom.

In her letter to me, she posed this question: Can a girl fall in love without losing her liberty? Well, damned if I know, but it sure as hell doesn’t hurt to examine the matter and try to figure it out. Here it goes: EcoSalon’s weekly Sex by Numbers, penned as an open letter to my dear friend and in truth, as much a letter to myself as it is to her:

You are privileged. For 99.9 percent of human history, women have rarely had the choice to be alone. Marriage and family were inflexible obligations beginning in one’s teenage years, and you are absolutely and utterly privileged to have space and self-determination to develop as a person in your own right. At the same time, there are scores of contemporary women who, unlike you, never made the decision to be single and who deeply yearn for companionship and relief from loneliness. You are so lucky to be at such a juncture, to have the power and privilege to chart a trajectory of your own choosing. Be flooded with gratitude for it.

You are whole. It is a many splendored thing to be a full and psychologically integrated creature with a sound mind, a convention-defying career of your own making, and an emotionally rich life teeming with people from around the world who love and adore you. You are the rare sort of woman who is unafraid to kneel down and kiss the ground in worship for life, despite all of its inanity and cruelty. You inspire others to be bigger than themselves and recognize their belonging to a sum far vaster than their own small experience. You are complete and ever becoming.

You are uncompromising. You have said it yourself, repeatedly, that it is in your best interest to stay single right now. I am reminding you of your own voice and convictions. It’s so nice to make love with a beautiful man and allow the neurochemical spell of sexuality to lull you into its sweet embrace. In fact, there’s nothing easier in the world than falling into a relationship. A partnership is nourishing, it offers the comfort of safety. It’s also the very thing that distances you from confronting you and from staring headlong at the bullshit and personal history from which it’s far more pleasant to run from than reckon. Don’t give up your reckoning. Don’t obfuscate the demons of your own heart with yet another boyfriend. Please wait, don’t bend, and choose the hard road. You know it will be worth it in the end.

You can have it all. I am by no means suggesting you abandon this very joyful and pleasurable development in your life, but simply encourage self-governance and vigilance. Yes! Revel in the effervescence and ecstasy. Give yourself over to love and longing. Be heedlessly sexual and luxuriate in all manner of life affirming things. At the same time, steel yourself. Guard that dark-black onyx stone in your heart of hearts. Don’t show it. It’s not for sharing. I don’t believe that openness and affection are incompatible with hardness. I believe that a woman is validly wild and free only when her emotions are kept in check and uncomplicated. Complication is the enemy of pleasure.

You can cultivate non-attachment. This isn’t hippie science, this is the modern woman’s way. Be in love, but be methodical. Don’t project a future onto him/it/you. Curry your freedom with the same measure of passion you do your orgasm. Being in relationship with a man doesn’t have to mean being in a relationship with him, dig?

You can have so much sex. Awesome! Keep it up. Sex by Numbers unequivocally endorses this. Do it with abandon and send me frequent (and immodest) updates.

Thank you for inspiring me to be a better person and, what’s more, thank you for being my friend.

With heaps of love and admiration,

Abigail xoxo

Sex By Numbers is an ongoing look into the emotional and sexual lives of the modern day woman. Follow Abigail Wick weekly here for insight and inspiration as she explores the “sex” of women and the terrain they must travel.

The post Sex by Numbers: Can I Stay Single but Commit to One Man? appeared first on EcoSalon.