Funny shopping quotes to help you survive the insanity that is the holiday season.

1. “I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.” -Tammy Faye Bakker
2. “Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like.” -Adrienne Gusoff
3. “Wal-mart… do they like, make walls there?” -Paris Hilton
4. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” -Will Smith
5. “We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” -Henry Youngman
6. “The quickest way to get to know a woman is to go shopping with her.” -Marcelene Cox
7. “Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line.” -Ann Landers
8. “A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.” -Franklin P. Jones
9. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” -Bo Derek
10. “The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.” -Erma Bombeck
11. “I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.” -Ilie Nastase
12. “The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn’t even know they carried.” -Mignon McLaughlin
13. “The other line moves faster.” -Etorre
14. “Buying something on sale is a special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it’s worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?” -Rita Rudner
15. “When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.” -Elayne Boosler
16. “If men liked shopping, they’d call it research.” -Cynthia Nelms
17. “Is there more to life than shopping?” -Amanda Ford
18. “I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.” -Rita Rudner
19. “I bet deep down you still wish your mom would take you clothes shopping every August for the new school year.” -Bridget Willard
20. “I like my money right where I can see it: Hanging in my closet.” -Carrie Bradshaw

What are your favorite shopping quotes?

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