This is the true meaning of Mother’s Day.

“You’re the most beautiful mom in the world!”

I woke up to those words and the beaming face of my daughter.

“Happy Mother’s Day,” she said as she dove into the bed to give me a delicious bear hug!

The most beautiful mom in the world? Wow! As my mom would say: my daughter “looks at me with good eyes.” I just turned 51 and although I am attractive, fit and take good care of my skin, I felt it would have been a more accurate compliment of my 25 year old self, especially when it’s six in the morning!

What is it that makes a mother beautiful to her children? Is it her face, her voice, her smell? Maybe so–and it’s surely much more than a physical characteristic.

Thinking back to my childhood, I realize what made my mother beautiful was more about feeling than vision. No matter what was happening, I knew I was the center of her universe. When I looked at my mother I saw the beauty of her unconditional love, her undivided attention, her fierce devotion. Perhaps it was because of this that her face glowed when she looked at me. Her love was like a tangible force field (a superhero power) that radiated through her eyes and constantly surrounded and protected me.

Could it be, what we as children see when we look at our mothers, is a reflection somehow of the love our mother feels for us?

My mother has been gone for 36 years, having lost her battle with breast cancer when I was a teenager. I have been without her longer than I was with her. After so many years, it isn’t the physical attributes that I remember; to be perfectly honest I can’t remember her voice or her laugh. Her physical body left, but her force field of love never did, I felt this once the pain of loss began to dissipate. I still feel the beauty of her love surrounding me to this day.

This Mother’s Day, in honor of my mother and in celebration of the amazing child I have been blessed to share my life with, I will unapologetically accept the gift of my daughter’s compliment and return it with my attention. I will put the phone down, return the email tomorrow, and right now, I will look deeply into her eyes (with my superhero mom powers) so she knows she is the center of my universe. I believe it’s the experience of truly, deeply loving a child unconditionally that makes a mother beautiful.

Find Fatima on Twitter @fatimaolive and on Pinterest

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Images: (top)  a4gpa, (bottom) Fatima Olive

The post On Mother’s Day: Being ‘the Most Beautiful Mom in the World’ appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnAs the saying goes, “Girls go to college to get more knowledge,” but do they care if their schools are eco-friendly?

My poor, misguided parents somehow failed to realize that getting me into a decent college was supposed to be their mission in life. In fact, they had practically no involvement at all in my college search, a process which was, by today’s standards, incredibly short and sweet. As a high school senior, I cut school with three friends and visited two colleges in one day. I chose those schools based largely on the fact they didn’t require application essays, and of my two choices, I selected the one that had the most promising male-to-female ratio. I’m pretty sure I spent more time selecting a prom dress than picking my college.

To say that things are different for kids today is a gross understatement. Helicopter parents (like me), now take a scorched earth approach to college applications, and we have all become wily experts in the art of marketing our children to institutions of higher learning. Parents now spend the better part of high school shepherding their offspring through a grueling application process that requires total commitment, massive amounts of time and energy, and a small army of paid professionals (tutors, essay consultants and private college advisors). I have spent the past two years schlepping my daughter to far-flung campuses where we have grinned like obsequious idiots at the perky tour guides who showed us around (A word to the wise: don’t waste your time trying to impress, or bribe, these young tour guides, since they have no say in the admissions process).

I have spent untold hours harassing my child until she fine-tuned her applications, studied for the SATs, and cranked out the gazillionth draft of her personal essay.  And she was on board for all of it, an equal partner in the madness, as she immersed herself in the process of becoming an informed consumer of U.S. universities. My daughter has combed the internet and college catalogs to create stacks of Excel spread sheets, meticulously categorizing schools according to size, location, fraternity life and academics.  But for all her research, my daughter had absolutely no idea where her college choices stood in terms of being green.

This is kind of surprising, given that college guidebooks have started aggressively ranking schools on their environmental profiles, rating them on their use of solar energy panels and the number of recycling bins scattered throughout the campus. Those college guidebooks are my daughter’s bibles, and from them she has learned and retained the tiniest and most obscure details about each school she’s applied to: she can tell you the exact number of undergraduates, the percentage of students who live off campus, and whether or not the school accepts transfer credits. She can describe each school’s personality, recite its mission statement almost verbatim, and tell you if it attracts hipsters, stoners, or meatheads. But when I asked her if she knew the schools’ green ratings, she was stumped, and extremely surprised to learn that she had missed an entire category of college information. Her friends, we would come to learn, were equally ignorant that data on sustainability was readily available in college guide books.

These are not kids who are indifferent to the environment. On the contrary, my daughter is the vice president of her school’s environmental awareness club, and her two best friends are co-presidents. My daughter and her friends recycle religiously and care passionately about global warming.  But there is simply no room in their jam-packed little heads to hold even one more fact about the colleges they are considering. With the economy in a shambles, these kids feel that their future success and happiness depends on being admitted to a “top” college, so they just can’t afford to worry about a school’s commitment to sustainable food sources and low-flush toilets.

Today’s high school seniors crave acceptance to colleges with big names and big endowments, schools that will impress future employers, schools that will give them a high-status decal to slap on their car’s rear window. Ironically, many of those decals will end up on the back of a Toyota Prius, because these kids  genuinely care if their car is environmentally friendly – they just don’t seem to care if their school is.

Image: ilamont.com

The post The Goldberg Variations: How Green Are the Ivies? appeared first on EcoSalon.

Only three weeks left of summer and the ads to stock up and save on school gear are invading our space. Grrrr!

Anxious kids sense the clock is ticking as they try to prolong the inevitable. Meantime, I refuse to listen, look or buy when it comes to the ads for “must have” clothes and supplies for fall.

I can’t stand it when the Christmas ads and music start playing after Halloween. I cringe when the Easter cards appear once Valentine’s Day cards are cleaned off the shelves, or when Fourth of July streamers and hats patriotically appear in windows moments after Mother’s Day.

And I can’t stand this retail intrusion, either.

Here are five reasons why we all should just say “No!” to the pressure to prep for September in August.

1. The ads are specifically designed by marketing executives as a strategy to get us to buy items we don’t need.

Mainly, this addresses back-to-school clothes and supplies. What’s the hurry? After all, in most states, the weather stays pretty much the same in September as in August, and I bet your kids can get by with the same jeans, Converse shoes, socks, tees, sweat shirts and possibly the uniforms they already own.

In addition, if you’re like me, you replaced the backpack in the spring and it is still good to go in the fall after a bit of wear-and-tear during the summer months. Teachers provide supply lists for each class, and many of those items you already own, such as rulers, binders, pencil bags, markers, boxes of tissues, and other supplies. We can get kids excited about entering a new grade without associating the leap with buying new junk.

Better to fill in with what they don’t have and get them excited with one personalized reusable lunch box with homemade organic cookies and a loving note inside.

Dear Lo, have a wonderful first day and eat the vegetables I packed! Insist on moving if you are seated next to Oren again this year. We’re all tired of him eating your pencils. Love, Mommy.

2. School Ads in August rob us of what little freedom we have left.

My kids hear the radio ads to start stocking up on supplies and sigh, “Summer is over already.” I tell them that they have three weeks left and to ignore the stupid radio ads. Stores like Target, Walmart and Sears (the back-to-school headquarters) just want to sell as much as they can to make money ’cause times are hard. But kids still have time to sleep in and play in the sand and do nothing to their heart’s content.

3. The retail goal of accelerating fall works against living in the present.

Isn’t one of the goals of a healthy mind to live in the present and reap the benefits of the Power of Now, as described in Eckhart Tolle’s bestselling guide? Being hit with television, online and radio spots about buying for school encourages us to direct our thoughts towards the months ahead and to rush out now and get ready or else.

Or else, what? Will our child be an embarrassment showing up on the first day in a dress they’ve already worn or uncool dirty shoes? Will they fail miserably without the proper Jonas Brothers backpack or Miley binder and be relegated to a dark corner of the cafeteria to eat alone?

There is nothing to get ready for except for bed after months of unstructured living. Have a nice end of summer dinner, put them down at a decent hour, make sure the alarm clock works, fix a good breakfast and get them out the door and to school on time. There, you a have done your job without blowing $200 on non-essentials.

4. Back-to-School ads are anti-green.

You don’t hear them talking about loading up on eco-friendly ensembles and recycled backpacks, do you?

No, they want you to buy cheap, made-in-China plastics that last a few months and pile up in landfills. It’s sort of like the cell phone manufacturer strategy. They make this stuff as cheap as possible to trick you into thinking you are getting big savings, but the reality is you are buying something made as cheaply as possible in most cases – junk that needs to be replaced as soon as it breaks or breaks down. It’s is always better to buy quality for your kids that will endure rather than getting duped by the ad giants to purchase short-lived, toxic Chinese bulk. Less is more. Quality over quantity.

Plus, no one wants to buy new wardrobes and tons of supplies during a recession. Do clothing swaps with friends, handing down clothes that don’t fit. Just buy what they need and hold firm. Believe me, there is plenty of time to shop for sale items throughout the year. These days, things are always on sale. They need to be!

5. The popular tune School’s Out for Summer means all summer.

Ask Alice Cooper if you don’t believe me. He will tell you the lyrics never said, School’s out for summer until early August because you have to buy stuff. Take back your power and be an ad buster. You have the control to savor what precious time is left of summer. Don’t succumb to the pressure to buy now!

Main Image:  Target

Image 1: Sketchers

Image 2: E.L. Bradley

Image 3: Kohl’s

Image 4: Sodahead

The post Why Parents Should Reject Back-to-School Ads in August appeared first on EcoSalon.