Getting Purelled is the growing phenomenon of sanitizing one’s germ-infested mitts with the alcohol-based, Johnson & Johnson product known as Purell.

What’s in the name, William Safire students might ask?

Pure, I imagine, denotes the opposite of tainted, which in flu terms translates into ralphing, the runs and the unpleasant sensation of having been poisoned by Satan. Elle is French for she, as in, she is cruel that H1N1 Virus, widespread in 47 states now. Elle also is a swank Fifties ad-on, like ette for dinette. It sounds real classy.

I first heard the term the other day after ordering my teenage daughter to wash her hands after school. She’s a nail biter, more susceptible than most.

“I just got purelled,” she explained, exhibiting a jellyfish-like, residue bubble in her palm, which she kept afloat because she was undoubtedly fascinated by its staying power.  She has been studying chemistry in school. And I believe pathogen is one of her SAT terms.

Sydney and her peers happily take advantage of the economy, vat-sized, plastic dispensers of the waterless germ fighter stationed in every nook and cranny of her school, from the bathrooms to the cafeteria, library and gym.

At the campus’s recent Grandparents Day buffet breakfast, I watched an elderly dude mistake the jug O’Purell for carbonated water, carelessly pumping a shot into his cup with a puzzled visage. I gently intervened to set him straight. “You don’t want to drink that, Mister.”

The sanitizer, albeit refreshing upon contact with the skin, is not desirable as a beverage, no matter how much the Dunder Mifflinaholic, Meredith Baxter, of The Office fame ingests it for its alcohol content.

Getting purelled sounds ironically similar to getting paroled. In fact, a link exists when you consider hand purifying might prevent weeks off from school, a form of prison for parents who can’t do squat during the duration of the relatively mild but ubiquitously feared illness. I know as a mom who recently emerged from the trenches with her Swine Flu-infected youngest.

“Mommy, I’m bored! Mommy, stop working, I’m bored! ” I call it Purell hell.

In an aggressive no-tolerance approach, our school armed itself with endless stockpiles of the weapon at the beginning of the year hoping it might slow what it cannot prevent. While the CDC says there are  plenty of the H1N1 vaccines to go around, many parents apparently prefer that surefire killer, Purell.

“I definitely think it has slowed down the spread since contact between these kids is so constant, maybe each child is contacting 20 others throughout the day,”  says Dr. David Abusch-Magder, the head of middle school at Brandeis Hillel Day School in San Francisco.

At least the school, which has an impressive recycling and composting program, is using refillable containers. If you must invest is this much plastic, you might as well maximize its shelf life.

In addition to schools,  I’ve spotted the dispensers just about everywhere these days, from Trader Joe’s checkout counters to business offices, exercise studios and even in the cup holder of my own car.  The truth is there is no place to avoid the risk of contamination. Many organisms continue to thrive in my car despite the Purell.

Another truth is that we are creating a population of Purelled humans immune to the small percentage of bacteria resistant to the liquid. Bacteria that don’t die simply reproduce.

Let’s just hope we can conceive of  a way to upcycle all of those plastic dispensers once we are restored.

This is the latest installment in Luanne’s column, Life in the Green Lane.

Top image: The Local

Image One:Upyernoz

The post Getting Purelled: The New Fixation of an Ailing Nation appeared first on EcoSalon.

They just can’t get healthier, cheaper and hipper fast enough. So the marketing geniuses behind the greasy fast food restaurants are burning the midnight oil in time for summer to chain-storm new ways to entice consumers who are getting wise to a lighter footprint.

1. Burger King’s new TV booty ad is a ridiculous send-up of I like Big Butts, featuring a Sponge Bob rendition, I Like Square Butts.

The highly sexualized ad, showing how to achieve a square butt by placing a phone book in your shorts, is aimed at an adult audience to sell its 99 cent value kids meals. Amid a sea of complaints, Burger King vows to only run the ad after hours to amuse the grown up audience.

2. Kentucky Fried Chicken new grilled breasts have been introduced challenging us to “unthink the unfried side of KFC” with this option for consumers who are watching what they eat (no extra-crispy, deep-fried junk food), but the company is still cranking out inferior factory chicken that’s no good for or the chickens no matter how you serve it. And then, of course, there’s the current Oprah Fustercluck.

3. Carl’s Junior beefs up image with ads featuring hospital surgeons or Padma singing its praises.

If you weren’t convinced before that bourbon is good for you, how ’bout when a scrub-wearing surgeon talks about craving bourbon ($6 Angus burgers that is) and knocking them back in between surgery because “bourbon keeps me focused.”

And the Western Bacon Burger, also just $6, seems ultra-healthy and gourmet when Top Chef’s Padma Lakshmi shares how much she adores these sensational sandwiches since they remind her of high school and sneaking off to get a taste of that special sauce. The most offensive thing about the Padma promotion? The ad line next to the gorgeous reality show host says “it’s more than just a piece of meat.”

4. McCafe is your kind of caffeine place. Just like in the real coffee houses with real baristas, you can brew it your way with shots of vanilla, hazelnut or caramel. Yes, savor that quick, inferior coffee plus all the sugar you ever dreamed of to complement your low-priced wrap sandwich like the McSkillet Burrito or any of those great meals that come under $3.

5. Priszm LP is reassuring the Canadian public you can’t get swine flu from fast food pork, because the employees at the 400 fast food chains (including KFC and Taco Bell) it operates in Canada wash their hands really good and there is no evidence you can contract the virus from eating pig products. Last week, the company reported losses of $2.6 million during its first quarter ending on March 22, compared to a $1.8 million loss the same period a year prior.

Image: iboy_daniel

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A 22-year-old social worker in Mexico told reporters the series of catastrophes plaguing her country and the world are adding up to “the Apocalypse.” It’s easy to understand the gloom and doom outlook, especially after a 7.8 earthquake shook up people already gripped with fear from the swine flu outbreak, killing at least 29 and injuring more than 160. The Mexican Red Cross says many of those killed in Colima lived in fragile adobe buildings that collapsed, while two others died of a heart attack.

Mexico’s President Vicente Fox visited Colima on Wednesday to assess the damage and federal authorities pledge to rebuild the hardest-hit areas by establishing of a $2 million reconstruction fund. Many houses have fallen and bridges have been damaged.

It’s pretty Mexico needed a break, not a quake, as the death toll from the swine flu outbreak rose to 150 with 2,500 illnesses reported. According to CNN, The World Health Organization says at least 105 cases have been confirmed worldwide, including 64 in the United States; 26 in Mexico; six in Canada; three in New Zealand; and two each in Spain, the United Kingdom and Israel. WHO has confirmed deaths only in Mexico, where seven people have died from swine flu.

Many of the flu victims otherwise healthy teens and young adults with strong immune systems. Apparently, it’s the body’s response in those with strong systems that can cause a fatal reaction due to the body’s build up of antibodies fighting the flu in the lungs. As a result of the crisis, much of Mexico City has shut down and armed police are guarding hospital entrances to control the population.

The World Health Organization has raised its pandemic alert level from three to four on a six-level scale in response to the outbreak of the flu that originated in Mexico but has since spread to the United States, Canada, Spain and Scotland. In New York, a group of kids who visited Cancun have become ill and we keep hearing similar stories of Americans coming back sick from Mexico.

Here in the U.S. the CDC is letting us know what we can do to best protect ourselves from the flu. First and foremost, we should frequently wash out hands. Here is a list of guidelines posted on the CDC web site to help the public prevent and treat the flu:

As we wash, hide from crowds and get treated fast, Fox News quoted CDC head Richard Besser promising the government is doing its part, as well, by screening for the flu at U.S. borders. “What we’re going to be doing at the borders starting today is doing passive screening, asking people about fever and illness, looking for people who are ill and handing out cards that let people know what’s going on in Mexico and what’s going on here so people can take action to protect and prepare,” Besser said.

It appears they are doing the same thing in Tokyo, using heat sensors at airports to detect fevers in travelers, a pro-active approach to keep the flu from spreading there as well.

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