ColumnThat Happened gets back to one of its core causes: gay stuff! This week in homophobia…

Meet South Dakota State Rep. Steve Hickey — the leader in the campaign to educate people about the dangers of gay anal sex.

Hickey wrote a letter to his local paper called, “A One Way Alley for the Garbage Truck.” Now, I’m no poet, but I think the alley is a butthole and the garbage truck is poop.

We are left to assume the “alley” belongs to a dude, but he didn’t specify in this homophobic tirade against anal sex, so we can’t be sure.

One new thing I learned from Hickey is that gay men are the only people into buttsex — despite all pornographic and living in the modern world evidence to the contrary.

But, he’s just not being homophobic. He has genuine concerns about medical issues associated with homosexuality (which he seems to equate directly with anal sex) and he’s asking for input from doctors:

South Dakota docs, it’s time for you to come out of the closet and give your professional opinion on this matter like you capably and responsibly do on all the others. Somehow the message we are presently getting from the medical community is that eating at McDonalds [sic] will kill us but the gay lifestyle has no side effects. Truth be told it seems self-evident the list of side effects would read far longer than anything we hear on a Cialis commercial.

Woof.

One of his health concerns? Trans kids attempting suicide because of buttsex.

Linking his rant to the the South Dakota High School Activities Association’s consideration of altering rules to accommodate trans-identified students, he sites a stat: “41% of those who struggle with Gender Dysphoria attempt suicide, that’s twenty-five times the rate of the general population.”

He’s attempting to connect mental health issues and man-on-man anal sex, which is sort of confusing because that certainly doesn’t cover everyone who identifies somewhere other than strictly male or female on the gender identity scale.

Additionally, it 100 percent ignores the fact that suicide rates among kids dealing with gender identity could have a lot more to do with isolation, confusion and hateful bigots like Hickey than it does with what they do in their alleys.

What an asshole.

More from the mouths of the GOP

Don’t you love it when hypocrites are revealed? I do!

As Wonkette reports, it turns out that North Carolina State Senate candidate Steve Wiles, who ran in Tuesday’s primary and has been a vocal supporter for the state’s ban on same-sex marriage, used to be a drag queen. Yay.

Of course not every drag queen is gay, but Wiles did work in drag in a gay bar and numerous gay friends from back in the day have said some version of, “Girl, she was G.A.Y” in response to this story.

Wiles has tried to explain the gay away by saying that his anti-marriage equality stance doesn’t make him anti-gay because of god and stuff.

There’s a lot of flip-flopping here, but the story probably won’t matter much in the long run (or next week) because his career is going to suffer a blow.

That Happened is Libby Lowe’s weekly column for EcoSalon analyzing media, news and pop culture through a feminist lens. Keep in touch with Libby @LibbyLowe.

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Image: Kenny Louie

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