Chances are, if you are reading this, you are, like me, a white, well-educated woman.

I identify the majority of my readers because considering your audience is one of the most important lessons I learned in activism. So, here’s lesson one: Know your audience. I’m speaking to you, white, well-educated women.

Like many others, my first dip into activism came about recently and unexpectedly: after the 2016 presidential election. I arranged a gathering for peace for hundreds of people after Trump stole the White House because I couldn’t sleep from the horror and anxiety. I didn’t know what else to do.

Like so many other white, well-educated women, I also invested in an IUD  (grab that, Drumpf). Like so many others, I didn’t talk to my father for the first month after the election, because I felt betrayed by him for supporting you-guessed-who.

As an amateur organizer – “activist” as people started to call me – I made the mistake of planning my gathering for peace at a local park. Hugh MacRae Park is one of the largest, most beautiful parks in Wilmington, North Carolina. It also just happened to be named after a white supremacist who promoted the lynching of black people.

I didn’t know the history of Hugh MacRae. I quickly learned it when I received a stream of public and private messages berating me for planning to have the event at a racist park. Four out of five angry messages were from white, well-educated women. I felt terrible and quickly changed the event location.

I had an idealistic aim, but I am, deep-down, an idealist. The news emphasized the story that we weren’t having an #ImWithHer party, but it wasn’t a Drumpf-themed gathering by any means, either. We welcomed everyone. Mostly, progressives came. They also started a new organization to pull together disparate leftist groups called the Wilmington Progressive Coalition. And this is what I love about progressives in my area: They are legitimately welcoming, they listen to their audiences, and they act accordingly. They know activism.

Lesson one: Know your audience.

My audience was the entire community – everyone needed to feel welcome.

Your audience is one you have either been ignoring, openly detesting as a whole, or at the very least, keeping at a comfortable distance: other white people who aren’t as well-educated.

I’m talking about the guy who is buff and gorgeous but also, as you learned the hard way, a Trump supporter. The guy you may have unfriended after an unsuccessful conversation that turned into a rant. I’m talking about the neighbor you got along with so well – until you saw them put the Make America Great Again sign out on their front lawn.

Our country is fractured, and hatred breeds best in cracks between different people and points of view. Realize this: the people you don’t really want to talk to are the people you probably need to talk to more than anyone else.

Lesson two: Listen to your audience.

I carefully listened to my community’s concerns about the event location. And this translates in all activist pursuits. Ask yourself: Is it my goal to be well-educated and correct about politics and to educate other people on how correct I am, or is it my goal to make lasting, positive social change?

Lesson three: Take what you’ve learned, and act accordingly.

I changed the event location. Simple, right?

Use your resources to forge connections rather than create divisions. Make sacrifices when it makes sense. And above all, make every effort to act for the greater good.

Lesson four: Invite your detractors (or challengers) to work with you.

I didn’t want people protesting a peace gathering. So, after I changed the location, I also reached out to those who had (rightly) called me out. Unfortunately, the majority of the detractors who said they’d work with me if I moved the location mysteriously disappeared when I asked them to join me.

Nothing shuts down an angry, armchair activist more than inviting them to pick up a shovel and start digging ditches for peace. But it also makes your life much easier (less work, more networking, more outreach). Armchair activism is easy. Actually doing something isn’t. Sometimes, though, you can convince people to become involved. And when you do that, everyone wins.

Activism: How You Can Actually Do Something

As an apprehensive activist, what interests me most is creating lasting, positive social change. In my research, I discovered intergroup conflict theory (ICT). Put simply, ICT is placing people who disagree in the same room and making them hold a conversation (you can read a great primer on ICT here). Since first tested out, numerous groups have self-reported reduced prejudices as a result of ICT. Activists, policymakers, and peacemakers around the world use ICT.

For an extreme example of ICT, consider Daryl Davis, a black man who befriended numerous KKK members with one simple question in mind: “How can you hate me if you don’t even know me?” Davis successfully convinced Roger Kelly, the former Imperial Wizard of the KKK, to quit the hate group entirely. He’s also converted at least 12 other KKK members.

Like so many others, Davis showed that it works. While shallow conversations help make a dent in prejudice, it’s deeper connections – like the friendships Davis goes out of his way to forge – that research has shown make the most lasting change.

A Difficult But Necessary Call to Action

After putting together my own Gathering for Peace, reading up on intergroup conflict theory, and attending my own local YWCA’s Potlucks for Peace, I have a difficult but necessary call to action for you: try to connect to other people in the hopes that this connection will reduce prejudice and hatred.

Using the lessons above:

1. Invite someone you disagree with to a neutral and safe place, like a coffee shop or Potluck for Peace.
2. Listen to them: Before you meet this person, check in with yourself. Then, listen to how they feel, what they value, and where they’re coming from.
3. Find what you have in common with this person.
4. Invite collaboration: Invite this person to volunteer with you for a cause you both care about. Ignore the impulse to lecture or educate. Show what you value by example first. Try to connect. In time, the tough conversations will come.

In your new life as an activist, remember to also take care of yourself. Know when to walk away (at least, for a while). Activism is tough work, and real change takes time to create. But keep coming back. Peace and love are worth trying for. What other choice do we have?

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Everyone needs a nice little nudge now and again to remind them that it’s great to give back. Luckily, there’s a holiday – Philanthropy Day – that reminds us of just that.

November 15 is Philanthropy Day — a day to embrace humankind and show others love. So, today you should strap on your boots rather than kicking them off, and go out and help your fellow person.

The National Philanthropy Day website states that the November holiday was created to: 1) Put “philanthropy” into action, and 2) Recognize the change philanthropy has brought to communities.

The day itself is meant to help people celebrate giving, volunteering, and charitable engagement. While the day is totally official (in 1986, Ronald Reagan coined November 15 Philanthropy Day), it’s also part of a grassroots movement.

So, how can you celebrate and honor this day of giving back? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Donate to your favorite cause: I have a few favorite causes, but the one I try to give to every year is the Basset and Beagle Rescue of the Heartland. This organization does its darndest to re-home, adopt, and foster beagles and basset hounds (and everything that’s mixed with these two houndy breeds). Also, a bonus: They are totally no-kill. I have a soft spot in my dog-loving heart for this organization because I adopted my two hounds, Daphne and Cash, from this awesome org.

2. Bake a batch of cookies for your neighbors: Do you ever really engage with your neighbors? I do… sometimes. But I could do a heck of a lot more to get to know the people who live right next to me. If you’re in the same boat I am, consider baking your neighbors a batch of scrumptious cookies. That way you’ll only trigger “sweet” thoughts in their minds.

3. Help a friend or family member with a tough project: Does your mom need help cleaning her closet? Perhaps your dad really needs someone to help him string up those Christmas lights. Well, raise your hand, put on your work clothes, and go help them out.

4. Volunteer some time: This time of year is never short on volunteer activities. You can easily donate some time at a food pantry, a community organization, or charity.

Related on EcoSalon

Hands On Philanthropic Action: Building Schools in Ethiopia with imagine1day

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Image: San Jose Library

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7 tips to get you to your next destination.

If you’re a world traveler, you’re likely familiar with the set of responses that come when you tell your friends that you’ve decided to pack a bag, quit your job, and skip town.

“I’m so jealous,” and “Ugh, you’re so lucky,” are often repeat offenders.

It’s a funny response. As if travel is something that chooses only the lucky ones and passes everyone else by. But in reality, long-term travel has nothing to do with luck. It’s a choice that involves involves a bit of planning and sacrifice, a willingness to forgo all things comfortable (especially mattresses), and a hefty amount of guts to just go.

The perception that long term travel is only for the privileged, the rich, or those with dual nationalities is flawed. Consider the fact that between 200,000 and 250,000 young people aged 16-25 do long-term travel (from 3 to 24 months) each year. In Europe, taking a “gap year” is considered by many to be a rite of passage, not an unattainable fantasy that only trust fund kids get to do.

The merits of long-term travel are hard to quantify and even harder to overstate. While saving up enough money beforehand is a much less risky undertaking, it’s also limiting in that your travels will come to an end when the money’s gone, which is usually a much shorter interval than the time you took to earn it.

So in the tradition of all those who have hit the road before us, we bring you the top ways to find low airfare, book a one way ticket and travel the world for free, or at least for as much as you’d be spending at home.

TEFL: If you’re reading this sentence, you have something that a vast majority of the world population really wants: the ability to speak intelligible English. A third of China’s population (roughly 400 million people) are currently learning English and they want people like you to teach it to them. The acronym TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) is a blanket term that refers to teaching English abroad in a general sense; there is no one set way to get certified as a TEFL teacher nor is there a requirement to speak the language of the host country. Once you are certified—which you can do at home or abroad—hiring practices depend on the nation or part of the world you wish to go to, and it’s important to do your research carefully. Passing a TEFL Certification course means you can work a variety of jobs—from private language schools and tutoring to high school and universities—all while living in a foreign country.

Skill Share: Have a skill you can offer or teach to others? Maybe you can teach surfing, diving, or yoga, be an entertainer on a cruise ship or help re-design a resort? Search for resorts and vacation destinations in locations that appeal to you and reach out to to explain your qualifications and offer your services. Oftentimes in developing countries, hotels and resorts will be looking for high level professionals that they cannot find locally. In exchange for working, you may just get accommodation and food, but it’s a good way to start and you can always find more work once you get there.

WOOFing: The growth in interest in organic agriculture worldwide means that there are more opportunities than ever to travel and farm at the same time. Worldwide Opportunities in Organic Farming (WOOF) has networks in roughly 100 countries around the world, from coffee farms in Kona to dairy farms in South Africa. While WOOFing, you’re given food and accommodation (which isn’t necessarily plush), but it’s not for free. You will be expected to get your hands dirty and work hard, though you will hopefully be learning valuable skills and tenets or organic farming and gardening at the same time. There is no international WOOFing site; instead, you can search the various listings by the individual country websites and then make arrangements with a host whose requirements or setup suit you.

Go Off the Books: The biggest hurdle for a lot of people who want to stay away for a long time by working abroad is a getting the correct Visa to do so. While most countries do require a specific visa to get a proper job, it’s often the case that menial, off-the-books work is available if you know where to look. While this certainly depends on the country or city you’re in (big cities in developed countries are more likely to have employers that follow the rules), finding domestic/childcare, construction, promotional or part-time work in a hostel or bar is not an impossibility once you’re on the ground meeting locals and searching classifieds. To get a sense of what’s available before you go, start by searching Gumtree (which is similar to Craigslist, but used much more widely outside of the US). While it may not be a good plan to depend on this from the get-go, it’s certainly a way to extend your trip once you’re already in a country and your funds are running low.

Volunteer: There are countless options to volunteer abroad. However, some of them require that you pay more than just your costs, which while not always a scam, isn’t really necessary. Just be sure that the organization you’re on board with stands for something you actually believe in. Religious organizations aren’t going to be subtle about why they are in a given country, so don’t assume that you’ll be able to ignore religious undertones if that’s not something you really want to promote.

Travel Begets Travel: Perhaps the most beautiful thing you’ll find on the road are random friendships with people from all over the world. If you’ve never done it, you’ll be surprised how easy it is to make friends as a solo traveller—nearly everyone you meet is in the same mindset of possibility and self discovery. The upside of that of course, is that next time you want to hit the road, you’ll realize you have friends in New Zealand, Belgium, and Singapore, all of whom you met while staying in a seedy hostel in Amsterdam. If your new friends have offered a place to crash in the Southern Hemisphere somewhere down the line, don’t be shy about getting in touch—that’s the single most compelling reason to not delete your Facebook account. And just make sure you’re willing to do the same when they contact you.

Couch Surf: To an older generation, it might sound like a internet predators playground, but CouchSurfing is a remarkable community with nearly 4 million members worldwide with the primary motivation of meeting new and interesting people. Using it properly means creating an account (on which you include your mission, philosophy, interests, and skills you can offer) and, over time, acting as both guest and host while providing feedback and building credibility. There are security measures in place, and according to CouchSurfing CEO Daniel Hoffman, “We have had over six million positive experiences, with only a tiny fraction of one per cent negative.”  While it may not be the best way to secure accommodation for months at a time, it’s a great option for shorter trips once you’re already based somewhere for a few months.

There’s one thing you absolutely must have if you want to hit the road for an extended period of time: a willingness to make it work. It’s most definitely not going to be an easy ride and you will have moments where your plan is nonexistent and your funds are lingering in negative territory. But those moments—the ones that cultivate resourcefulness and resilience—are precisely why travel changes you as a person. They also make for the best stories down the line.

Flickr: Katerha

The post 7 Tips For (Cheap) Long-Term Travel appeared first on EcoSalon.

We recently gathered once again for a gal’s night out, something me and my friends do to honor one another when our big day bites us in the ass (I mean elates us) each year. It’s all warm and buzzy, the serious sipping of full figured red wine, the grazing of small sumptuous Spanish plates, the embarrassingly intimate inebriated birthday toasts counting the ways we count. And the climax hasn’t changed since you were ten, the oozing dessert all aglow and the presenting of pretty packages that will transmogrify into long overdue thank you notes.

While the loot does indeed get much better as we get older (did I mention the jewelry?), there is nothing I need to acquire to feel more blessed. I cherish the handcrafted cards my children make each birthday, but beyond that, I feel guilty about accumulating more stuff. If you feel the same, why not consider other options? Don’t feel pretentious suggesting to your friends that they honor you with an eco alternative. The following options take the cake!

1. OptNow Gift Cards

Instead of the Nordstrom gift cards my friends love to gift as group gifts, the OptNow option is used to support a mission to end global poverty.

2. Pack up Party

You’ve wanted to clean out the cupboards and closets for months and pack up what you don’t use to donate to a shelter or other needy recipient. Invite the group over (even a couple pals can make it a party) and have a ball rummaging and packing up your junk.

3. Take a Hike

On one of my “milestone” birthdays, I decided to do a hike rather than a chichi dinner or costly trip. It was free, amazing exercise (just ask Kendra Wilkinson) and an ideal way to reconnect with wildlife and our natural surroundings. The greatest team building gift of all: No cell phones.

4. Board Public Transit to the Farmer’s Market

You and your epicurean pals or kids can shop for locally grown, organic produce and eat some for your b-day lunch. It’s an ideal way for ladies who lunch to munch responsibly while celebrating you and supporting community growers. But don’t drive if you have access to a bus, bike or train and of course, take a basket or reusable bags.

5. Renewable Energy Sponsorships

Ditch the new laptop purchase, and instead ask for a sponsorship from the start-up company, Powered Green. It sponsors new wind turbines that make enough clean and green energy to power your old computer for seven years. Each laptop credit covers 690 kilowatt-hours of certified wind energy and stops 1030 pounds of CO2 for $16. For $28, you can buy a desktop sponsorship for 1300 kilowatt-hours of certified wind energy, ceasing 1900 pounds of emissions. Each sponsorship comes with a decal for your computer, showing off your commitment to the planet. Way to grow!

6. Group Food Bank Volunteering

My 11-year-old’s friend held her party this year at the San Francisco Food Bank where guests donned protective plastic gloves and spend a couple of hours sorting can goods and packing them up for the needy throughout the city. Why limit this to kids? It is a great idea for grown ups, too, and a way to still have fun dishing and laughing while you work, all for a great cause: Feeding hungry neighbors. Now, that’s a gift. Oh, and guests can also donate money while they are visiting.

7. Say it with Darkness

Don’t say it with diamonds. Instead, make it lights out, candles in. Let her or him create a candlelit ambiance – beeswax naturally – to show how you glow, even when adding another year to the time clock. Spend the day without any electronics if possible and then flicker away at night. Spread out on a blanket if you like and recite poetry instead of watching the tube. A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou beside me, singing in the wilderness. . .It’s all so very friendly.

8. Scrap It

Scrapping is in big time – no, not just the recycled steel – but also scrap books as gifts lovingly assembled using existing materials by your friends and family. You can re-purpose an old photo book to create a personal masterpiece. It is the best gift I have ever received – one large book from friends on a big birthday and a small, beautiful pink one from my daughters on a Mother’s Day.

9. Gifts from the Garden

If eco is a return to purity and simplicity, then an ideal green birthday gift would be staying home and enjoying the fruits and veggies of your husband or best friend’s labors. There is nothing like cut flowers from the garden (give it up for lilacs and dahlias) and a nurturing soup of fresh picked veggies made and grown by someone who adores you.

10. Adopt a Furry Child

Come on, a new best friend from your old best friends? It’s a win-win situation. There are too many unwanted and neglected dogs and cats waiting for homes and the SPCA can connect you to a loving shelter pet on your birthday or any day. Tip: As I found out, some gifts snore a lot louder than others!

Images: AlphaTangoBravo,Luanne Bradley, SPCA, Polkadot Creations, Aldon;  San Francisco Food Bank

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When the last school bell rings to signify the start of summer, kids go running wildly into the season full of hope for adventures and freedom. But parents know all too well that once the novelty of downtime wears off, that famous phrase, “Mom, I’m bored!” is all too quickly uttered. Put these 25 good, old fashioned summer activities on your child’s radar, and they’re sure to find entertainment lurking around every corner of your home and neighborhood.

1. Take your kids on a nature walk/scavenger hunt at a nearby park or around your neighborhood. Give them a list of things to find: a squirrel, a yellow flower, a dandelion, etc., and have them take a picture of each object on the list. When you return home, have them paint a picture of the most beautiful thing they saw on their excursion.

2. Set up an obstacle course in your backyard and declare it Olympic day! Toss water balloons, hop to the finish line in potato sacks, and do egg on spoon relay races.

3. Find a patch of sidewalk and let kids spruce it up with their very own chalk drawings.

4. Teach your child how to cook her favorite meal or baked treat.

5. Make homemade fruit popsicles or ice cream sundaes.

6. Get crafty with collected seashells and make these seashell Koalas and other keepsake creatures.

7. Attend story time at your local library.

8. Fly a kite.

9. Teach your kids how to play a card game or a board game.

10. Volunteer at an animal shelter or visit senior citizens in an elderly home.

11. Build a fairy house.

12. Build an indoor fort by draping sheets over strategically placed furniture. Read library books under the canopy.

13. Teach your child how to sew or knit.

14. Learn the art of tying as many different knots as you can.

15. Walk your dog and then give him a bubble bath.

16. Enroll your child in an eco-friendly summer camp.

17. Build a treehouse or playhouse together.

18. Go on a family bike riding excursion.

19. Plant a garden, tend it and watch it grow. Plan to make a delicious recipe with the fruits of your labor.

20. Blow bubbles. Teach your child how to blow a bubble with gum.

21. Hit the beach, lake, stream, or creek in your neck of the woods and make a splash.

22. Start a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle together and work on it every day for 15 minutes as a family.

23. Make a sensory or water table station in your backyard.

24. Learn how to juggle, hula hoop and do a cartwheel.

25. Go “camping” in your backyard or living room.

Images: Beth Shea, Mavis, jumpyjodes, fwooper, LaLa50, adria.richards, Axel Buhrmann, gaab22

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