ColumnThe friend babymoon. A new thing we invented!

I recently spent the weekend in Maine with three of my best friends, one of whom is pregnant.

Without meaning to, we ended up on a friend babymoon. If that’s not a thing already, it should be.

In addition to laughing until I couldn’t breathe at least once a day, this trip afforded the four of us the chance to go to the beach in winter wear, eat tons of bread and walk around various shops in Portland having conversations that went like this:

“Oh my god, oh my god! A baby sailor suit! Does our baby need this?”

Our baby. That’s right.

Luckily, our friend is being very generous. Even though her mom and sisters live close by and will be the go-tos, she is embracing the “it takes a village” attitude by allowing us to assume roles in this kid’s life before she’s even here.

In fact, when she told me she was pregnant, it went like this: “You’re going to be an auntie!” I can’t really explain how totally happy I was at that moment, first for her and then for how she chose to share the big news.

I am fairly sure I jumped up and down, which isn’t a thing I do.

I never really thought about what it would be like when one of my best friends became a mom. I have lots of friends with kids, but this one is different.

I’m not having kids of my own, and, as an only child, I wasn’t guaranteed any nieces or nephews. I got lucky and got one of each when I got married so, this little one will be my third.

She will be the only one who will know me from day one, that I will see on a very regular basis and the only one whose mom I have known since we were four.

Meaning, I will be able to tell her about our misguided attempt to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for roller skating around the block when we were in grade school, how we used to do Mad Libs over the phone and how I used to wake her up way earlier than she liked at sleepovers.

When she’s 12 and thinks her mom is the lamest, worst person on the planet, I will listen and be a safe person for her, while encouraging her to not be a jerk.

When she’s older, I will tell her about how her mom took care of me when, in a state of mess that can best be described as “being 25,” I moved back home to Chicago and lived in her storage room for two weeks.

And if she ever gets drunk at a party and calls me for a ride home, I will praise her responsible choice not to drive or get in a car with someone who has been drinking, drive her to my house and make her drink lots of water. But before I go pick her up, I will call her mom and tell her that her kid is safe and sound.

Then, in the morning, I will wake her up way, way earlier than she’ll like because at sleepovers, that’s what I do.

That Happened is Libby Lowe’s weekly column for EcoSalon analyzing media, news and pop culture through a feminist lens. Keep in touch with Libby @LibbyLowe.

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Image: “Auntie Heather with Baby Chick” by Sam Ritchie

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When I think about my best friends, I get a little misty (okay, a lot misty). They complete me. My best friends not only accept me for exactly who I am (which is a full-time job), they also rock at everything I suck at. If you were to mix us in a blender and pour, we’d be a superhero.

No matter how busy life gets, here are nine types of BFF’s you should always have in your corner:

1. The Health Nut
If it weren’t for her, you would’ve forgotten to exercise during the last decade. Whether it’s with a new recipe so you can finally use your pots and pans for cooking instead of roof leaks, or a jogging route with plenty of places to sit if you need to, she constantly motivates you to do better and feel better.

2. The Listener
There are days when you’re not looking for advice or a silver lining: You just have this urge to bitch your tuchus off. This friend will not only prevent your head from exploding, she’ll offer you safe passage through your emotional tornado.

3. The Flowy Friend
This is the friend I’m forever jealous of: The one who, no matter what’s going on in her life or what’s being thrown at her, she keeps her cool. She stays centered and grounded (while I’m flailing away as if twirling down the drain). Long story short: I’ll have everything she’s having.

4. The Romantic
You know the one: The friend who looks at the world like it’s a big box of puppies, and never allows conflict or cynicism to deter her from building strong, meaningful relationships. She’s the perfect friend to go to when you’re thinking about heading up a nunnery.

5. The Fashionista
She keeps track of all the latest trends so you don’t have to. Plus, when it’s time to paint the town red, she’ll always make sure you look as hot as humanly possible. From a budget standpoint, it’s like having two closets for the price of one!

6. The Mom
She’s totally lovable and always has your back. When you’re sick, she makes the best soup ever. She knows exactly why your cat keeps waking you up at 6am, and she’s always there (with tea!) when you’re stressed with a capital S.

7. The Blunt Betty
Sometimes, all we really need is a good swift kick. When you’re doing something stupid that you know is stupid (especially in the guy department) and lecturing yourself in the mirror isn’t cutting it, this is the friend you turn to. She’ll snap you out of it (and leave a mark).

8. The Yoda
When you’re in a jam and have no idea what to do or where to start, this friend always knows exactly what to say. She also grounds you and prevents you from panicking – kind of like having a little Buddha on your shoulder.

9. The Vault
We all need this friend: The one you turn to when you need to unload a deep, dark secret in a forgive-me-Father sort of way, while knowing she won’t look at you any differently (or write a press release afterward).

Of course, you don’t need nine separate women to cover these roles (holy estrogen, Batman!). If you’ve got best friends who pull double or triple duty, you might want to start sewing those superhero costumes.

What makes your best friends so fabulous?

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One of the many books that has been published recently (without the slightest help or input from me) is Healthy Child, Healthy World, a guide for parents who want to raise children in a “cleaner, greener and safer home.” Author Christopher Gavigan has stuffed this book with boatloads of planet-friendly advice from celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Brooke Shields and Kate Hudson. I may not know what those ladies have in the way of environmental credentials, but I am quite sure that they qualify as celebrities. I’m less sure of why the author saw fit to include eco words of wisdom from Gayle King, a woman whose primary claim to fame is that she is Oprah Winfrey’s bestest friend in the whole wide world.

I actually like Gayle King – she strikes me as a spunky, vibrant and down-to-earth woman, but it ticks me off that she’s become the go-to gal for environmental sound bites based on absolutely nothing but her proximity to Oprah. One might suspect that Gayle’s media mogul bestie is also responsible for her radio show (on the Oprah network) as well as her editor-at-large position for “O” Magazine, which is published by – well, you get the picture.

Thinking about Gayle King’s meteoric rise to the top has led me to believe that my own, more limited career trajectory is not due to any lack of talent, ambition or intelligence on my part – it’s just that my friends are such losers.

Don’t get me wrong:  I love my friends desperately – they are all brilliant, warm, funny and unfailingly loyal. But there is not a billionaire in the bunch and not one of them has her own, eponymous multimedia empire. In short, none of them is in a position to make me a household name.

Oprah is certainly not the only woman who has given her best friend a leg up in the world. Several of Michelle Obama’s pals have ended up with cushy jobs in the current Administration. Jessica Simpson’s best friend became her personal assistant, then had a recurring role on Simpson’s reality TV show, and is now dating that guy with the gold teeth from Clueless (thereby proving that some celebrity friendships are more lucrative than others).

But it is Gayle freaking King, in her role as World’s Luckiest Recipient of Inexplicable Fame, who really sticks in my craw. Judging from the book excerpt I read, her advice about raising an eco-friendly family amounts to fairly standard veggie-worship boilerplate. I think more should be expected from Oprah Winfrey’s BFF and frankly, I think I’m up to the task.

Which leads me, inevitably, to wonder: shouldn’t someone as fabulous as Oprah have room in her life for more than one best pal? Especially now – with her talk show ending early next year, Oprah is bound to have lots of extra time on her hands. I totally think we could hang out.

Are you out there Oprah? Call me”¦

Image: Rubenstein

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