Here’s a fun (and therapeutic) way to make breaking up suck a little less.

No one likes breaking up, but if he’s going to rip your guts out of your ass why not score some cash out of it? That’s the idea behind Never Liked It Anyway, an online marketplace that lets you sell off any and all reminders of your ex so you can get back to the awesomeness that is you. (I’d say I wish this site was around after my last break-up, but my ex didn’t leave behind so much as a dirty sock. He picked our pad clean. You know, like a vulture.)

One of the biggest post-break-up drags is figuring out what to do with the pile of rubble he’s left behind. While the items hold no sentimental value anymore (well, except for pent up rage), you’re not one to throw things away—or burn them—when you can find them a perfectly good home elsewhere. I mean, it’s not the wedding dress or bracelet or handbag‘s fault he’s the worst, so why take it out on them?

Never Liked It Anyway is part online store, part online therapy. Each listing features the ‘real world price’ and the ‘break-up price’, the story behind why you’re selling the item and the ‘bounce back plan’ you’ll be putting the money toward. You can also share what break-up stage you’re in, which range from ‘drinking a lot’ to ‘better than ever’.

Selling the statement necklace she was going to wear on her wedding day, Lida-Maria Lottko writes: “I had found the perfect dress, lost 10 pounds, planned everything out to the last detail. What I hadn’t planned for was for my husband-to-be to get cold feet. Just 3 weeks before the wedding he bailed out.”

Other pre-loved items include a Burberry scarf that was gifted by a “selfish, manipulative, needy jerk,” and a Swarovski bangle from a guy who cheated—after she’d just found out her dad cheated on her mom. Seriously, people. You can’t make this shit up.

But even though breaking up is the shits, Never Liked It Anyway puts a quirky, empowering spin on the whole experience, helping you put your post-break-up plans into motion. Women are selling their ex’s gifts to fund trips to Europe, save for school, and start their own businesses. Take that, douche faces!

Between the opportunity to bitch about my ex, make extra money and get back in the game using NLIA’s killer BounceBackBox, I want to date a guy just to break up, sell my prezzies and meet some fabulous new friends along the way. Best of all, NLIA takes 10 percent of their cut and donates it to the American Heart Foundation. Swoon.

Will you be adding this site to your breaking up survival kit?

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Broken heart image via Shutterstock

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Breaking up is hard to do… well, depending on the reason you want to break up.

The whole break up thing is complicated: There’s why you say you’re breaking up with someone, and then there’s the real reason. The two usually parallel each each other, but the reason you say to their face is a fluffier version of reality. I mean, you don’t want them to feel bad about themselves – you just want to move on.

Then there are those guys you date where you think it’s going great… until he does something so unspeakably random or unthinkable that you panic. You start picturing the next 10 years of your life and wonder how often you’ll have to deal with said habit of his if you stay together. Meanwhile, you already feel as if you’ve witnessed it one time too many. So what’s a girl to do? You know, except run.

We might think break up excuses are lame and gutless, and okay they kind of are. But I for one am thankful they exist. Depending on the situation, there’s nothing better than being able to pull a kittens-and-rainbows break up excuse off the Internet at a moment’s notice.

I mean, if he were to ask you what made you come to your decision, could you imagine telling him the truth if your “reason” was triggered by any of the 20 frustrating guy habits below? I didn’t think so.

1. He holds his fork like a shovel.
2. It hit you how much he looks like Quagmire and now you can’t unsee it.
3. You feel like you’re holding him back… from ruining someone else’s life.
4. His hair is now longer than yours.
5. Video. Games.
6. He chews like Cookie Monster.
7. He liked “Sharknado.”
8. He initiates text convos, only to reply to everything with “K” and “lol”.
9. The music he listens to sounds like road construction.
10. His dirty talk makes you laugh to the point of never having sex again.
11. He pronounces it “supposebly.”
12. Instead of pulling his pants up, he pulls his shirt down.
13. He shaved his beard off and it startled you.
14. He never takes his hat off. Like, ever.
15. He uses air quotes when he’s had too much to drink.
16. He talks all the way through “America’s Next Top Model”, but shushes you when you so much as open a chip bag during “The Ultimate Fighter”.
17. His attempts at flirting are a little too… Hannibal Lecter.
18. He Instagrams all of his meals.
19. You’re starting to have nightmares about his sneaker collection.
20. Your cat doesn’t like him, which pretty much says it all.

What’s the most hilarious reason you’ve decided to break up with someone?

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Image: Josh James

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When it comes time to give break up advice to your BFF, avoid saying these 12 things.

Your BFF’s sig-o has cheated on her, and it’s now up to you to help her piece her dignity back together. After she pours her heart out, it’s your turn to offer the ultimate in break up advice – only, your mind goes blank. I mean really, what can you possibly say that’s going to help her feel better?

As tempting as it is to put on your “Super BFF” cape and fix her life for her, it’s important to set your own feelings aside, be there as her sounding board… and you know, not say anything that’s going to make her feel worse. Like these terrible pieces of break up advice, for example:

1. “It happens to all of us.”

Your intentions are good: You’re trying to make her feel less alone, and it works… you know, until you both remember that you’ve personally never been cheated on before. Awkwarrrd.

2. “Men are such assholes.”

What you’re really saying is her beau is an asshole with no redeeming qualities – and if she decides to get back together with him, she’ll be ashamed to look at you after the fact.

3. “You’re too good for him.”

Of course she is, but she didn’t know that at the time. Mind you, at the time he wasn’t doing an entire cheerleading squad. This is the point of the conversation where she begins to wonder if she’s also too good for you.

4. “I’ve always had a bad feeling about him.”

Sure, this might be true, but what exactly is confessing this to her now going to accomplish? Either you’re going to make her feel stupid for not knowing, or you’re going to make her feel stupid for not acting on the fact that she too had the same gut instinct all along.

5. “It could be worse. He could’ve…”

I understand the whole “it could be worse” schtick is to help an upset someone put what they’re going through into perspective, but this has got to be my least favorite expression in the English language. One, it trivializes how your friend is feeling and makes it seem like she has no right to be upset, and two, it could always be worse! Even if your BFF was homeless and missing an arm, there’d still be someone to say, “It could be worse, you could be missing a leg.” Breaking News: She’s now missing her mind.

6. “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

Basically, you’re telling her there’s no way she’ll be able to trust him again and squashing any hope she might have to reconcile. Worse, making her feel like an ass hat for even considering it. She’ll now spend the rest of your convo stewing in confusion and angst.

7. “Dump his ass.”

This seems like the obvious course of action to you, whose guts haven’t been ripped out, but your friend is lost and just starting to make sense of the whole thing. Don’t push her into a hasty course of action – ride the emotional roller coaster with her and be there for her while she figures out what works best for her.

8. “Everything happens for a reason.”

Of course it does, because we make up the reason later.

9. “Sounds like someone needs a drink.”

I’ve never understood why this is the go-to solution to being cheated on. Sure, a drink or two might calm her nerves, but come drink five she’ll be sobbing into her martini about the fact that she was cheated on – and it won’t be long before you’re holding her hair back.

10. “Let’s look her up on Facebook.”

There’s no way Facebook stalking will end well. If the other woman is hot, she’ll feel ugly. If the other woman is ugly, she’ll feel ugly. On the outside, you’ll be bonding as if part of a celebrity roast, but on the inside, she’ll be secretly roasting herself.

11. “But was it like, cheating cheating?”

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!

12. “You’ll meet someone better.”

Your BFF is still drowning in the fact that she was cheated on in her last relationship (which technically isn’t even over yet) – let her feel her way through the maze of emotion before dropping the dating bomb on her fragile psyche.

What are your tips for giving break up advice?

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Image: Katie Tegtmeyer

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