Ugh, socializing. Here’s how to survive your next shindig, introvert style—you know, minus the social awkwardness.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re shy; spending time alone is a personal preference, like texting instead of calling or eating kale instead of… that really boring lettuce that’s so boring I don’t remember the name of it. That being said, socializing is an important part of the whole being human thing—but the social awkwardness can be a total drag.

Here are 8 strategies you can use to step up your game, while still being your wonderfully introverted self:

1. Practice

The only way to put the kibosh on social awkwardness is to practice being social. Focus on the teeny tiny interactions that typically make you want to tear your skin off and go from there. For example, take the elevator with other people instead of running for the stairs. Gag your way through chit chat with the person standing behind you in the grocery line. Smile and say hi when you pass someone in the hallway at work… without making a face afterward.

And before a (gulp) party, practice what you might talk about when you strike up a conversation with someone new to make it seem like you actually want to be there.

2. Decide which social gatherings are “worth” it

Because socializing uses up a ton of energy, it’s best to decide ahead of time which types of functions are important to you, and which ones you can do without. For example, going to your BFF’s wedding is a no-brainer, while going to her cousin’s half sister’s secretary’s baby shower… well, not so much.

3. Block out quiet time

Make sure you block out time to rest up before and after. Do things that help you relax beforehand, but don’t use up a ton of energy. For example, going for a walk, reading a book, or listening to music. Create a pre-party ritual so when it’s time to go out, you’re ready to put those social skills to the test. Then once you get home, take as much time to unwind as you possibly can, since you just experienced an introvert’s version of a 5K marathon.

4. Bring a partner in crime

Bring an equally introverted friend to the event so you can be there for each other when you need to hyperventilate. Or, bring an extroverted friend who you’re not only comfortable around, but appreciates your social awkwardness and won’t push you into a sea of people (Xanax anyone?). That way you always have someone to talk to, instead of becoming the weird girl in the corner always staring at her phone.

5. Set a goal

Let’s face it: To get yourself out the door, you need to know why going is so important and why you’re about to leave your (full) DVR behind. Whether you’re going out to network for your career, or celebrate a birthday with someone you care about, giving a purpose to the event makes it so that no matter how things go, you’re emotionally fulfilled in the process. Going out for going out’s sake is just not our thang.

6. Find a hiding spot

The second you get to the shindig, make sure to find a hiding spot you can use for privacy in case you ever get overwhelmed by the swarms of people. Ironically, once you find a hiding spot you rarely end up using it—it becomes a comfort just knowing it’s there, which helps you power through any social awkwardness you might stumble across.

7. Plan an escape route

Make sure to have an alternative way home if you drive there with friends, since guaranteed you’re going to want to leave way sooner than they do. Ending up stranded somewhere with a bunch of strangers? Total. Nightmare.

8. Don’t try to be an extrovert

Be crazy and quirky you, because that’s why you were invited in the first place. Your DVR will be waiting for you when you get home.

How do you wade through the social awkwardness?

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Introvert problems that are only problems to extroverts.

So here’s the thing: I’m an introvert. I’m awkward, shy, crowds make me want to hyperventilate – and I’m totally okay with it. In my experience, the only introvert problems we face are the ones dropped on our shoulders by people who don’t understand us.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life perpetually confused as to why people always comment on how I act, think and feel, like I need to be “fixed.” I mean, is there a specific number of words you have to say per day before people stop saying you’re quiet? Do you have to schedule a certain number of facial expressions so people stop asking what’s wrong? And how many times are you “allowed” to stay in before people assume you’re depressed?

It took me 30 years to find the answer to introvert problems like these: Who cares? As much as we’ve been made to feel otherwise, being exactly who we are is a good thing. To let you off the hook, here are 42 introvert problems that are, in fact, not problems at all:

1. Small talk. Barf.

2. Once you’ve made plans with someone, you immediately regret your decision.

3. When your plans are cancelled at the last minute, you want to twirl in a meadow singing “The Hills Are Alive.”

4. You delete Facebook event invitations before you’ve even read them.

5. You don’t own party clothes because party clothes equal parties, which equal people.

6. You’ll spend $50 on a cab home before spending the night at someone’s house.

7. You prepare an escape route for every social event.

8. If your sig-o were to ask you to choose between him or your track pants, well…

9. You want to make out with the superhero who invented self-serve checkouts.

10. There are times when you go out only because your friends don’t remember what you look like.

11. You’re more connected to TV characters than you are real people.

12. You feel ill anytime you hear the words “audience participation.”

13. When you hear someone getting in the elevator, you immediately take the stairs.

14. You have never, and will never, use Siri commands.

15. Since buying a cell phone, you’ve used every feature on it… you know, except for the phone part.

16. You wear sunglasses everywhere you go so people can’t suck you into the vortex that is chit chat.

17. You wear headphones for the same reason – even when you’re not listening to music.

18. Silence is your BFF.

19. There are only two people on the planet you answer the phone for.

20. When you’re about to bump into a Chatty McNeverShutsUp in the produce aisle, you turn the eff around – and from that moment on, your entire grocery shopping experience turns into a game of Pac Man.

21. You’ve already planned how you’re going to spend next weekend, and none of your plans include people.

22. You love power outages, rain storms, and blizzards – basically, anything that slows the world down to your pace for a little while.

23. You only place phone calls when you know someone’s going to be unavailable so you can leave a (pre-rehearsed) message.

24. You’d rather clean your bathroom than go to the bar.

25. You practice conversation-starters and quirky stories before you go out “just in case.”

26. Phrases like, “You should get out more,” “Just put yourself out there,” and “Come out of your shell,” compel you to bathe with a toaster.

27. On your nights out, you don’t need to drink to wake up with a hangover.

28. You make fake plans to get out of making actual plans.

29. Networking makes you break out in hives.

30. There are days when people ask if something’s wrong so often, you begin looking for things that are wrong.

31. “Wanna hang out?” is the worst phrase in the English language.

32. You feel more alone in a room full of people than when you’re actually alone.

33. You order pizza online.

34. You’re 99 percent sure your soulmate is a cat.

35. You plan errands based on when stores will be the least busy.

36. You think crocheting is the best.

37. You exercise at home because socializing at the gym makes you sweat more than the exercise itself.

38. When someone shows up uninvited, you immediately plan what you’ll say to them tomorrow when they ask why you didn’t answer the door.

39. People say more while they’re asleep than you do all day.

40. You’re immune to the inevitable chin quiver when you’ve rejected someone who wants to make plans with you.

41. You become paranoid your guests will never leave – even though they’ve only been there for a half an hour.

42. You have no problem with being an introvert. You have a problem with everyone else’s problem with it.

Which introvert problems grind your gears the most?

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