There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my daughter, which is why I am instilling empowering values coupled with an open line of communication from the very beginning.

Just the thought of my 14-month-old daughter, Everly, incites an emotional reaction that’s more powerful than any feeling I’ve ever experienced. Heck, I’d bet money that writing this article will make me cry at some point during the process because I just love her so damn much. She’s cutting a particularly difficult tooth this week, and, aside from a fever, this is probably the most uncomfortable experience of her short life — something I know, after more than three decades of being alive, will someday seem insignificant.

I grew up in in the ’80s and ’90s and became an adult in the early 2000s, all decades I like to consider sweet spots when it comes to having just enough technology to improve quality of life, but before social media was so powerful that a single slip-up could become life tarnishing. Today, our goals for raising girls are similar, yet with the prevalence of privacy-invading apps, extreme Photoshop, and a media obsessed with celebrities and stardom, we have a relatively new set of battles to face.

And while each of us may handle these situations differently, there’s something you and I can both agree on: we want our daughters to be happy, well-adjusted people who are confident in themselves! Because of this common thread uniting all mothers of little girls, I thought it would be beneficial to highlight some of the more important things I plan to teach my daughter about life.

1. Assume Everything is Photoshopped

Today’s standards of beauty are unrealistic. The flawless, poreless skin you see on the cover of Vogue isn’t real. The insane cleavage on that Victoria’s Secret poster has likely gotten that way through the use of something the lingerie brand’s former resident photo retoucher, “Sarah,” likes to call the insertion of “chicken cutlets” into the bras and swimwear.

When preparing images for print, she told Refinery 29 that she was instructed to make the Victoria’s Secret model’s breasts larger and retouch areas where hair and stubble would normally be, reminding readers, “They come to these photo shoots and, like, they have their arms up in the classic beach pose, and they have, like, hairy armpits. They all have stubbly pubes — all the normal stuff [non-models have].” So there. You’re beautiful, girl, pubic hair, stretch marks, scars and all!

2. Your Sexual Orientation Doesn’t Matter

Your sexual orientation doesn’t matter to me and neither does the gender you choose to identify with. I’ve already considered that my daughter may be anything other than straight. She may not even wish to keep her body the way it is, but if you think I’d chastise her for being who she is, then you’d be mistaken.

Expect that your daughter may one day come to you about these issues, too, and when she does, prepare to support her. The American Psychological Association published a study showing that LGB teens who experienced parental rejection grew up to be “8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression, 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs, and 3.4 times more likely to have had unprotected sex than LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection.”

3. Know Your Body and Explore Your Sexuality

One day, we’ll have version of “the talk” and I’m not dreading it. In fact, I’m looking forward to being open with you from an early age, teaching you to identify your genitals by their proper names, and hopefully helping you feel comfortable coming to me with anything. When that day happens, this is what I want you to know.

You have a vulva and a vagina and a clitoris and they are glorious. They will serve you well to masturbate, look at your vagina in the mirror, and enjoy who you are as a sexual being. Don’t be like me and not masturbate for the first time until you’re in your early twenties, explore and discover your body sooner, rather than later. Heck, do this before you even consider having a sexual partner — you may find that the urge to have sex is greatly diminished, or even subpar to what you can do for yourself.

Like Joyce McFadden, psychoanalyst, speaker and author of “Your Daughter’s Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women,” said, “If we don’t teach girls to understand and respect the capacities of their bodies, and help them navigate the complexities sexuality can impose on their social lives, it takes a toll on their self worth and makes them lose faith in us.”

4. You Don’t Have to be Famous to be Important

Okay, okay, I’m totally biased, because you will always be important to me, but in the grand scheme of things, and contrary to what the media might have you believe, you don’t have to be rich or famous to be important. Whether you’re a kindergarten teacher, a nuclear physicist, or a stay-at-home-mom, the job you do contributes to society in a positive way and is meaningful as long as it makes you happy.  

I say this because society’s infatuation with celebrities has become so out of control that there is a bonafide psychological condition known as celebrity worship scale (sometimes known as syndrome), or CWS for short. While individuals with these disorders are among the more extreme cases of celebrity obsession we hear about, there is a similar, less intense attitude that spans many media outlets. I mean, our country did just elect a celebrity into office, for crying out loud.

And if you think our teenage girls are exempt, then think again. Psychology Today released details showing a “correlation between the pathological aspects of CWS and poor mental health.” Although it cautions that most of the studies have been conducted on adults, “studies relating to body image have also included adolescents, and have found that among teenage females (aged 14 to 16 years) there is a relationship between intense-personal celebrity worship and body image (i.e., those teenage girls who identify with celebrities have much poorer body image compared to other groups studied).”

5. Take Social Media with a Grain of Salt

It may seem like your life revolves around what your friends are doing on Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and all of the other cool apps your mom will be too old to understand, but there’s one thing I know about life, and it’s try not to believe everything you see or read on social media. The majority of people only post what they want you to see. Sort of like a really good magic trick, social media has invented a platform for us to create an illusion of the perfect life.

I also know this may be asking the impossible, but try not to worry about how many “likes” you get or followers you have. You’re worth so much more than a click or double tap. 

And please, for the love of God, don’t post that partially-clothed selfie. You will be grounded, young lady. For life.

Related on EcoSalon

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The One and Only: Is Having an Only Child Better for Parents and the Planet?

The post V is for Vagina: 5 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Life appeared first on EcoSalon.

Looking for a reason to try BDSM? Or wondering why you can’t seem to get enough? We’ve got six different reasons explaining the benefits of kinky sex.

Sometimes we develop a fantasy that simply can’t be verbalized. A longing that we feel is so taboo we’re afraid to express our inner desires to our partner—and BDSM is one such arena where these reservations may fall.

Whether it’s the fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, or fear that we might actually love it, sharing these ideas can seem impossible. For some, this leads to a life of vanilla sex forever. For others, it becomes a liberating turning point to explore the type of sex life they’ve always wanted, even if that involves whips, rope, or submission. All of which, according to research, are actually quite good for your health and the health of your relationship.

The practice of BDSM represents conventionally taboo subsets involving bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M) that often (although not always) relate to sexual acts in and out of the bedroom. While it may be a fantasy more readily discussed behind closed doors, surveys show that aspects of it are actually desired by many.

A 2014 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine asked more than 1,500 men and women to rate their interest in 55 sexual fantasies. Several BDSM-themed categories turned up, including fantasies about being dominated sexually (present in 65 percent of women and 53 percent of men), dominating someone sexually (47 percent of women and 60 percent of men), and being tied up for sexual pleasure (52 percent of women and 46 percent of men). Not only does this begin to verify the popularity of BDSM practices, but it also lets you know that you’re not alone in your kink.

When done correctly, and we’re not talking about “Fifty Shades of Grey“, partaking in BDSM is surprisingly good for you. Thanks to Medical Daily and their correspondence with various experts, we’ve got the lowdown on six of the benefits you can expect.

5 Reasons BDSM is Good for Your Health

1. Improves Communication and Increases Intimacy

Crediting the transparency that often accompanies a BDSM relationship, open, active, and clear communication are cornerstones for success. Between the use of “safe words” and the clear delineation between “play” (sometimes also known as a “scene”) and the day-to-day relationship, couples are required to identify when it’s time to get kinky, therefore discussing their sexuality far more often than some. Having sex increases intimacy, but throwing in a risk factor, like being tied up or blindfolded, increases it even more. What it comes down to is trust, which BDSM requires a lot of, and when the experiences go well, closeness is thought to be increased.

2. Encourages Fidelity

Because a healthy BDSM relationship requires trust that’s compounded over time, Dr. Jeffrey Sumber, a Chicago psychotherapist, believes that the individuals are less likely to stray, stating, “many who take it seriously are not interested in sabotaging the safety and trust that is imperative to its success.”

3. Better Mental Health

Citing a 2013 study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine, Medical Daily claims “people who practiced BDSM scored better on certain mental health indicators than those who had vanilla sex. The BDSM-friendly participants were less neurotic, more open, more aware of and sensitive to rejection, more secure in their relationships, and had a better overall well-being.” Furthermore, BDSM relationships have a lot of skin-to-skin contact, which one expert says promotes “physiological and physical healing.”

4. Reduces Psychological Stress

Believe it or not, being vulnerable during a BDSM session is actually said to leave participants feeling less stressed. Not only are the anxieties and insecurities we often feel during sex overcome by the ability to let go of judgement and control, but according to the aforementioned study, bottoms and tops (submissives and dominants) both had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol after participating in bondage.

5. Reduces Anxiety

In addition to all of the other benefits, Medical Daily also pointed out that the “sexual enjoyment of giving or receiving pain can actually reduce anxiety even for the most anxious of souls in the bedroom.” And according to a separate study presented at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology in Austin, Texas, it was revealed that S&M changes the brain’s blood flow, sometimes contributing to an “altered state of consciousness” akin to a runner’s high or yoga. The tranquility felt by the participant (most likely a sub) is believed to be caused by the lack of blood flow to the the brain, therefore reducing anxiety.

The conclusion? When you explore your sexuality safely, legally, and openly, there are loads of benefits to feeling liberated and in touch with your inner desires—even if that means you like a good flogging every now and then.

Share your thoughts about BDSM on the EcoSalon Facebook page!

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The post 5 Reasons BDSM is Good for Your Health: Break Out the Handcuffs, Girl appeared first on EcoSalon.

Body image after baby is a struggle for so many women. And while mine is still far from perfect, I’ve learned to appreciate, and even love, the one I have now.

My precise, detailed, handwritten birth plan was tucked neatly into an accordion file folder stashed away in my hospital bag. Nestled alongside it were toiletries (can’t forget my Nature’s Gate toothpaste and sulfate-free shampoo), a birthing gown, essential oils, a crossword puzzle (Seriously, Jamie?), extra clothes, my daughter’s going home outfit, and a bazillion other just-in-case things I could cram into the suitcase. We had the pamphlets, took the classes, knew the timing for contractions, and felt super prepared.

But, as in life, my entire plan was quickly blown to smithereens. And not just sort of. When labor finally happened I was progressing so fast for a first timer, that if we had listened to the on-call doctor, I would’ve had a home birth. So at seven centimeters dilated, and wearing the hospital-issued smock, someone finally wheeled me to a room. Once we arrived upstairs I was nine centimeters along, which gave me barely enough time to suck down some nitrous oxide, much less get an epidural. And even though I swore like a sailor, screamed bloody murder, and attempted to convince the nurse to give me some drugs and a C-section, much to my chagrin, the only thing that really went according to plan was my hope for a natural birth.

It’s been almost six months now since having my daughter, and one thing I’ve learned about being a parent is that absolutely, positively nothing goes as planned. Like, ever. In fact, similar to my delivery debacle, breastfeeding struggles, and dealing with more blow-out poopies than I care to remember, most things are just downright ludicrous.

So when I looked in the mirror after all of the stretching, drooping, and shifting, not to mention the sheer horror and loss of control that can only be instilled by the journey a pregnant body takes, and didn’t hate the reflection staring back at me, I was pleasantly surprised. As a few more weeks passed postpartum, I actually began to like my body (minus all the phantom pregnancy farts) even more than I ever thought possible.

1. I feel stronger

The sheer empowerment I felt after making it through hours of toe curling pain, pushing a tiny human out of my body, and doing it all naturally made me feel like Wonder Woman, dammit. And while that initial high is no longer lingering, my ability to power through breastfeeding issues, continue to work and care for my baby from home, and deal with the daily struggles that parenting presents, helps me to remember that if I can give birth, I can make it through anything.

2. I feel healthier

I may be a vegetarian, but before becoming pregnant, I didn’t always eat right. I skipped meals, chose quick, processed foods over fresh, was underweight, and committed all sorts of other nutritional sins. My pregnancy cravings were off the chain (I still cringe over the amount of gummy bears and Canada Dry ginger ales I consumed), and 32 pounds later, those yearnings, along with that niggling case of indigestion, finally disappeared.

However, when it came time to breastfeed, I wanted to consume the healthy calories my body required to feed my baby well. I ate better, slept as often as I could, tried to relax my mind more often, and actually feel just fine hanging onto those ten extra pounds.  

3. I feel sexier

My body’s curvier, my bust is fuller, my booty is squishier, and although things have definitely changed a tad down there, the boosted blood flow is out of this world. Some of these things may be temporary (I’ll miss you, big boobies), but I’ll be damned if I won’t enjoy them while they’re here. Filling out clothes is spectacular, and I’ve definitely enjoyed the extra cleavage.  

4. She deserves it

It’s not just about me anymore. Surrounded by sexism, stereotypes, impossible standards of beauty, social media, and so much more, I quickly realized that my position as the most idolized female role model in my daughter’s life is paramount. That is, until some pop singer swoops in on her wrecking ball and takes my place (please, sweet Jesus, be Taylor Swift). But until then, I need to present my baby girl with a positive-minded, self-loving, and confident mama with a body image to match.

Feeling good about myself is still an imperfect science. Just like anyone else, I have good days and bad, but my daughter serves as the best reminder of why I need to keep on appreciating the body I have.

How has your body image been since baby? Let us know your thoughts on the EcoSalon Facebook page!

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Image of Mother and Baby via Shutterstock

The post 4 Ways I Have a Better Body Image AFTER a Baby Came Out of Me appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnThe New York Times recently published an article about how female empowerment is basically meaningless. Why? Because companies have figured out how to monetize it and turn it into a “feeling” women can buy.

Jia Tolentino penned the piece that’s quickly gaining momentum on social media because she gets it — and that it is the reality that big brands have latched onto modern feminism and women’s desire to claim their individuality.

The article points out that empowerment, at its heart, is truly amazing. It was used to describe how the oppressed could overtake their oppressors, “In 1968, the Brazilian academic Paulo Freire coined the word conscientization, empowerment’s precursor, as the process by which an oppressed person perceives the structural conditions of his oppression and is subsequently able to take action against his oppressors,” Tolentino writes. “Eight years later, the educator Barbara Bryant Solomon, writing about American black communities, gave this notion a new name, empowerment.”

And in 1981 the term evolved again. “Julian Rappaport, a psychologist, broadened the concept into a political theory of power that viewed personal competency as fundamentally limitless; it placed faith in the individual and laid at her feet a corresponding amount of responsibility too.”

So, what does empowerment mean now? Tolentino bitingly describes it as a theory that is “applied to the needy while describing a process more realistically applicable to the rich.”

And she’s right — empowerment is now a product that’s sold to the less-than-wealthy female masses. That’s why companies sell pink-washed products and think that using hashtags like #StrongIsTheNewSkinny is totally okay.

Tolentino writes about more than a few brands that have effortlessly co-opted this once “empowering” word:

Aerie: the American Eagle lingerie brand sold a lot of product because of its #AerieReal campaign. This campaign was known for its lack of Photoshop and use of slightly larger models.

Dove: The personal care brand is incredibly well-known for its #RealBeauty campaign featuring women of all shapes and sizes.

TEDWomen: this sub-sect of TED is all about the power of women.

Forbes Women’s Summit: its hashtag is #RedefinePower.

Now, no one is saying that it’s necessarily a bad thing that women are generally using the phrase empowerment more. But when any word is monetized its authenticity begins to diminish.

Getting women who may never have thought about what empowers them before to do so isn’t bad — even if those thoughts are sparked from watching a Dove ad. The real problem is that corporations that aren’t exactly ethical and don’t consider women when sourcing or producing their products are making these ads to spark a need for worthless stuff. (And let’s not forget all the men at the top of many of these companies, too.)

Luckily, there are plenty women from all walks of life who embody what female empowerment really means. And if authentic messages keep getting play, perhaps they can up-end all this corporate feel-good crap and create a new definition of women’s empowerment that can help a new generation.

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Some corporate version of female empowerment via Shutterstock

The post Everything Has Cash Value, Even Female Empowerment: #NowWhat appeared first on EcoSalon.

Ignore the reality shows and perfume ads. Here are surprisingly valuable things we can learn from famous women.

From the moment we’re born, humans learn by example. Life is continually full of lessons (some effortless, some difficult) for us to soak up like a sponge.

But what can we learn from famous women? These women are always in the spotlight, and are often judged and criticized by people they’ve never met. The truly classy ones still manage to emerge graceful and unscathed. As life lessons go, these famous women have more to teach us than first meets the eye.

4 Life Lessons from Famous Women

1. Speak Up for Your Beliefs

Fourteen year-old Malala Yousafzai was shot in the head for her outspokenness on bringing light to the power of education for women. “In Pakistan, when we were stopped from going to school, and that time I realized that education is very important, and education is the power for women,” she said in an interview. “And that’s why the terrorists are afraid of education. They do not want women to get education because then women will become more powerful… I will tell him [the Taliban] how important education is and that ‘I even want education for your children as well.”

2. Beauty Comes From the Inside Out

As style icon Audrey Hepburn famously said, “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” It isn’t how much makeup we wear, how we dress or what we own, true poise is found is grace from within.

3. Always Look for the Best in Others

Arguably of the most outlandish famous women of the last century, Lady Gaga stepped into the spotlight with the release of her hit record when she was just 22. Yet to her fans she has always exuded an air of being down to earth, even through her over the top style. She says, “I feel like if you’re a really good human being, you can try to find something beautiful in every single person, no matter what.”

4. A Little Sass Never Hurts

As women we are told to conduct ourselves a certain way–even now in the 21st century there are pressures for women to conform. But first lady, activist and feminist, Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: “Well behaved women rarely make history.” By stepping outside of the boundaries, making our voice heard and following our heart and intuition, we can surely make a positive change in this world.

Related on EcoSalon:

25 Inspirational Quotes on the Power of Women

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image: Hannie85

The post 4 Inspiring Life Lessons We Can Learn From Famous Women appeared first on EcoSalon.

Is wearing makeup a valid method for empowering women, or do our actions contradict our words?

I recently got sucked in by a humorous video of three men trying to follow a DIY beauty guru’s tips for a smoky eye tutorial.

What did I get sucked into? The wide wide world of beauty blogs. Shudder.

This video is not representative of the things that I normally watch, but there was something about it that was intriguing. Men wearing makeup–a skill that some women find essential to their everyday existence. The results were, err… well, you can imagine. Fortunately, none of the men poked an eye out.

After watching the video I clicked through to the beauty guru’s site. Her name is Michelle Phan and she has 4.6 million YouTube subscribers; mostly women who want to better their eyeliner application techniques, I would wager to guess. I was disturbed, and yet I couldn’t stop looking.

“I’m passionate about being a makeup artist and teaching others how to look and feel fabulous in their own skin. I believe that lives can be transformed with a single tube of lipstick, and that women have stronger careers, futures and better self-esteem when they feel confident and beautiful,” it said on Phan’s About page.

Wait. Let’s re-read that.

“Look and feel fabulous in their own skin.” She mentions empowering women while at the same time conceding that we need makeup in order to feel comfortable as ourselves.

Watch any of the millions of online beauty tutorials and you’ll quickly see that it has nothing to do empowering women; it has to do with creating a skin that everyone else will think is sexy and beautiful. Forget what you have, with one single pen or tube you can change it all! And when women are spending over $15,000 on makeup in their lifetime, that’s more than a few pens and tubes to reach full empowerment.

There is much discussion when it comes deciding whether makeup is really a method for empowering women. One study showed that makeup makes a woman more likable by her co-workers, while also making them think of her as more trustworthy and competent. In these terms, the act of wearing makeup is a superficial, societal expectation kind of thing that’s not about empowering women. But then there are others that point out that wearing makeup could even be equated to a feminist act, citing historical instances of makeup wearing and the development of the industry:

Much to the chagrin of traditionalists, women began to promote their independence through rouges and lipsticks, bucking the homemaker stereotype in favor of dancing, city life and fashion. Though they continued to live the chaste life expected of them, women began to define their individuality through made-up facades that seemed to reflect a newfound sexual yearning.

This discussion is dangerous and forces us to toe a very fine line. On one hand, doing things that make us feel good as women boosts our self esteem. On the other hand, when people expect us to wear makeup and we’re looked upon as “less” of a woman when we don’t, wearing makeup is less inspired by personal reasons and more social expectation.

But I know a lot of wonderful, independent, powerful women who like to wear makeup. And then I know a lot of the same kind of women who don’t wear any at all. It’s hard to say which group is more focused on empowering women; impossible even.

Ultimately, what scares me is all of these online beauty tutorials that saying that women simply can’t live without petrochemical-infused makeup. In fact we can have a whole other conversation about how not empowering it is to be slathering our faces with products that are known to lead to breast cancer and a whole handful of other things. When most of these companies say “Look good, feel your best”, it’s not about empowering women, but just a marketing line to sell more products.

Women should never feel that going without makeup isn’t an option. Sure, there will be days that you want eyeliner, and days that you don’t. But empowering women shouldn’t be about applying a hoard of products that do our bodies no good, and our self esteem less so.

Work to be appreciated and respected for who you are, not what mascara you have on. Rule a board meeting because you are powerful and confident, not because you wore red lipstick. The personality and charisma should come first, wearing makeup should only accentuate, not replace, the real you.

Because after all, shouldn’t we be having a discussion about the true methods for empowering women? Work, education, and access to birth control? Companies push makeup for girls and yet when a girl gets raped at the age of 14, the judge says it was because she seemed “older than her chronological age;” we live in a twisted day and age.

The reality is that there are a lot of problems in the world today, particularly when it comes to gender issues, and empowering women can’t be accomplished with a stick of eyeliner alone.

Does wearing makeup make you feel empowered? Why or why not? Share your thoughts in a comment.

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The post Empowering Women: Does Wearing Makeup Help Or Hurt? appeared first on EcoSalon.

All right ladies, let’s talk form and figure. I am not talking about weight or height—forget about dwelling on that—I’m talking shape. Fashion is all about proportions, so what shape are you—and what silhouettes flatter your form? Once you know, you can make the best choices to play up your individual strengths. 

Everyone’s beautiful body is uniquely different and one-of-a-kind (what a wonderful thing!). Generally speaking, we can boil it down to four distinct body types. Knowing our body shape and dressing to your form can accentuate individual attributes by wearing silhouettes that fit us best. Celebrities and starlets pay big bucks to personal stylists to get the tips on what to wear, but all you really need is a measuring tape, pen, and paper to start taking notes!

Measure in the following four places: Hips, waist, bust and shoulders (across). Double your shoulder measurement. Now, with your set of four numbers, determine what shape you are—if shoulders and hips are within an inch or less of each other, but your waist is at least four inches (or likely more) smaller, you are an hourglass. If all four measurements are roughly the same, you are a rectangle. If your hips are the largest number, you are  a triangle or pear, and if your bust, hips, and waist measurements are close, but your shoulders are biggest, you are an apple.

For All Body Types

A great tip for all forms, no matter what category you fall into is: skin-tone shoes (black is no longer your classic shoe color—trust me). Go shoe shopping with bare legs and find a simple, comfortable heeled shoe that’s as close to your skin tone as possible. This will give the appearance of longer legs and whether you find cream, beige, or dark brown shoes, they will work with most outfits. And who wouldn’t want to add a little length to their legs?

Another great tip for all body types is color. Don’t be afraid of it! Wearing a brightly colored garment that flatters your skin tone will immediately draw attention to that area. So whatever your best feature (cleavage, legs, great shoulders, or waist), bring color there, and don’t forget to smile if you feel great.

Here is a general explanation of the four different body types, and what fits best on each.

Hourglass

If your hips and shoulders are about equal size and your waist is defined, then you are considered an hourglass. For the hourglass shape it is always about drawing attention to your curves. Silhouettes that flatter your form are: wrap dresses, and especially any thin or lightweight fabrics. A pair of stretchy skinny or straight-leg jeans are great to pair with slim-cut cardigans and tunics. Don’t wear baggy clothes or layer too much, just hug what you’ve got and love your body!

Rectangle

For rectangles, it’s about the trompe l’oeil (trick of the eye) to create the illusion of curves. Long jackets and strapless dresses with cinched waists are extremely flattering for this body type. Another great silhouette for rectangles are tops with collars to highlight your chest and bring the eye upwards. Avoid boxy tops and skinny jeans.

Triangle or Pear

If your hips are wider than shoulders you are a triangle or pear body shape and you’ll want to show off your shoulders by leaving them bare or adding a bit of volume to your chest (ruffles or decorative fabric above your bust can be lovely). Strapless dresses or defined shoulders in blouses will bring volume to your upper half. A jacket that hits just above the waist also really flatters your form without adding bulk down below. Stay away from cargo pants or printed skirts (unless it’s a small print) as they can draw attention the to hips and thighs.

Inverted Triangle or Apple

If your shoulders or bust are wider than your hips then your body is defined as an inverted triangle or apple shape. High-waisted pants are great for this body type (plus, they are trendy right now)! Also, wearing belts at the smallest part of your waist will highlight your form. Another good tip for this body type is wearing bell bottoms because they balance out the wider shoulders. V-neck tops are great, but stay away from spaghetti straps.

Have fun! Know your shape and embrace it, because it is uniquely yours!

Now what? Take some time for a deep closet clean and donate those pieces that might not flatter your figure (you know which ones they are—or ask an honest friend for help).

Related on Ecosalon:

25 Inspirational Quotes on the Power of Women

The 9 Most Empowering Sex Positions for Women: Female Sexuality Remixed

Keep in touch with Juliette on Twitter @spadesandsiLK

Image of Hourglass: GiuliagasImage of Rectangle: Mathias Liebing; Image of Pear: www.fotoARION.ch Image of Yield Sign: jacco de boer

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The best of EcoSalon’s stories this week.

The novel and the short story are two very different forms of literature. Scott Adelson challenges himself – and us – to learn the latter.

Californian artist Annie Voight hates how the waning popularity of handwritten letters is hastening the disappearance of handwriting. (Yes, really). Her response? To painstakingly cut the words out of her correspondences with a knife and make art with them. You can see the amazing results here.

Imagine Ethiopia is on a mission to charitably bring education to where it’s needed, and they’re looking for talented, hard-working volunteers to spread the word about their efforts to build schools in Ethiopia. (For equally good works, check out Passports with Purpose).

Kicking off a new series featuring remarkable women overcoming extraordinary challenges, we featured Mountain2Mountain founder Shannon Galpin, facing down fear with two wheels and a lot of grit.

Lastly, we’re not convinced gardens are best grown horizontally. Take a look at these 12 luscious vertical gardens and tell us if you feel the same way!

The post The Friday 5: Word Up Edition appeared first on EcoSalon.

The bonds of women can be empowering at any age.

Only in my early 20s did I learn the global importance of International Women’s Day with streets full of women around the world coming together in solidarity. This day is about empowerment and equal rights.

The 2012 theme is “connecting girls, inspiring futures,” which has gotten me thinking about all of the inspiring connections that surround us every day. In my everyday I come into contact with female colleagues and friends, all that are passionate about what they do. They are writers, filmmakers, doctors, lawyers, humanitarians and vagabonds, and every single thing in between.

What does it mean to be a woman? A lot of things.

I think about my mother and her friends, the generation ahead of me. My mother once reminded me how special my group of female friends was. “I didn’t get an empowered, strong group of female friends like that until later in life. Appreciate it.”

It’s true. It’s important to take time to appreciate the special bond that women have. It’s what solidifies friendships. It’s what brings you into the embrace of a circle of women on the other side of the world even when you don’t speak their language. It’s the overwhelming sadness that you feel when you hear stories of rape, genital mutilation and slavery. It’s what inspires you to teach, to give and to love, not only the women you are closest with, but the ones you have never met.

Some strong women in my circles have given me some good perspective lately, and in honor of them and their constant support, here are 10 thoughts for International Women’s Day about what it means to be a woman and what it takes to build a movement, to be stronger and to continue pushing boundaries.

1. No matter where we are, we are a community. Embrace it, take part in it and honor it.
2. We must make time to thank the mothers, aunts, grandmothers and neighbors that raised us to be independent and loud-mouthed. We rarely turn down a fight.
3. Live. It doesn’t make a difference where you are and who you are with, find the space to keep breathing and celebrating the ordinary.
4. We are free and do have the power of choice. Keeping that power is our right.
5. We all have a passion. The most powerful thing you can do is find it and encourage others to do the same.
6. Appreciate what you have. If you have your health and your spirit, make sure you act so that others can do the same.
7. Never take each other for granted. We are all fragile beings, treat one another with respect and compassion. Always.
8. Learn balance. We all need time to breathe, and sometimes we need to make compromises to ensure that we continue doing so. This is necessary.
9. You are enough. You can always push yourself to be better and do more, but remember that who you are right now is what counts.
10. Your global community needs you. Your voice, your written word, your physical being; it’s all valuable. Use it wisely.

Image: Anna Brones

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ColumnA weekly exploration into the sexually fascinating and provocative.

This is Abigail Wick’s first column in her new expedition of Sex By Numbers, an ongoing look into the emotional and sexual  lives of the modern day woman. Follow her weekly here for insight and inspiration as she explores the “sex” of women and the terrain they must travel.

Breaking up is a bitch. During the aftermath of a relationship, it’s critical to regard the upheaval as opportunity for empowerment and a chance to positively reshape the future.  I too try to walk the talk and at the encouragement of friends inspired by my recent courage and convictions post break-up, I’ve created a list of indispensable post-breakup musts that just might work for you too.

Write It Down: Perhaps your single-most important course of action is to write yourself a letter: Why am I no longer with this person? What can this severance teach me about myself and others? How can I leverage this breakup to emerge as a more compassionate and powerful woman? If you write it down, you prohibit yourself from forgetting, and when you’re hit with pangs of loneliness or desperation, it can be very, very easy to forget. Don’t let this happen. Consult the letter you addressed to yourself and remember.

Get Out of Town: When my long-term sweetheart and I separated, I decided to make the most of my mobility as a freelance writer. I booked it to Berlin, where I’m currently taking a three-month live/work sabbatical. Out-of-sight by no means signals out-of-mind, however, the geographic distance is a welcome salve. If journeying abroad isn’t available to you, then treat yourself to as many weekend road-trips as possible to a rejuvenating hot springs getaway or a relaxing bed-and-breakfast. And don’t make the mistake of going to visit your worried parents or blissfully betrothed little sister, it will just bum you out.

Dance-Dance Revolution: No human activity gets the blues to beat it more than dancing. With limbs flying free and your pelvis syncing with good grooves, you tap into the deepest, most-elemental parts of your body. Not to mention, moving in time with folks on the dance floor submerges your individuality, you become and belong to something greater than yourself. This combination of abandon, connection, and sweat (lots and lots of it, because of course you’re dancing to the point of happy exhaustion), reminds you that life is a miracle. Most importantly, the physical freedom you access on the dance floor mirrors your personal liberation from a romantic partnership that no longer serves you.

Forget About Flings: Don’t look for new men, but rather stick close to your girlfriends. They will ply you with champagne, reassure you you’re beautiful, and generally dispense all manner of conflicting advice. Don’t fret about your ladies’ contradictory ministrations, just let their sweet words fall over you like spring cherry blossoms dropping from their branches.

Get a Haircut: You’ve had that same style for long enough, and no matter how glossy and voluminous your locks, it will do you good to lop them off. Snipping off the end bits is a powerful symbol for eliminating emotional roadblocks and dead ends. As you negotiate your separation, do it resplendent and shorn.

Nobody Will Complain: You have 100-percent permission to go on a post-breakup bender. Don’t feel guilty, not one lick. But right after, pick yourself up and get your ass into yoga class. Nurturing health, well-being, and inner-peace is much sexier than downing too much wine. And whatever your future holds, nobody is going to complain about your hot, new yoga bod.

Pretty, Soiled Things: Tending to Plants: Even if it’s just watering the potted fern on your kitchen windowsill, plants offer roundly satisfying pleasure. Fill your living room with ivies and succulents or start a window box to grow fresh basil and mint. Better yet, join a community garden where you can sit on your haunches on a nice patch of earth while weeding strawberry plants.

Love Him: Where you focus your attention becomes your reality. If you train your thoughts on how you messed up or how he failed you, embarrassing obsessiveness and self-destruction are around the bend. Rather than creating negative neural pathways, generate useful ones. Think about the time he taught you to change a bicycle tire and be grateful for his generosity as a teacher and your finesse at fixing a flat. Remember his tenderness and protectiveness when you lost a loved one, and be glad you received his much-needed comfort. Focus on positive experiences you shared and lessons you learned from one another. Be thankful for him. Forgive him. Love him. Accept that things are different now. And move on.

Post-Modern Endings: At every moment, you are writing the story of you. Breakups are a reminder that our personal narratives are unfixed, unbound, and undefined. There are no happy endings, no packages tied-up with string, and no truth other than this: Life will throw shit at you, you will fall in the muck, and you get to choose whether or not you will pick yourself back up with dignity.

Every Morning: Every morning, tell yourself you are enlightened and then, to the best of your ability, behave like you are.

This is the latest installment in Abigail Wick’s column, Sex By Numbers, a weekly exploration into the sexually fascinating and provocative.

Image: Gandalf’s Gallery

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