Watch kids try “100 years of expensive food”. They are adventurous!

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The post Who Says Kids Aren’t Open to Trying New Foods? appeared first on EcoSalon.

All I wanted my daughter to be for Halloween this year was something unusual. Maybe it’s because I always found the holiday rather ridiculous for so many reasons that I just didn’t want her to play by the rules. I wanted her to be an astronaut or a scientist. Maybe a vegetable farmer. I’d have settled for a Ghostbuster. But at four years old, there’s one character, and one character only, who she wishes to be. Can you guess? Of course it’s Moana.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Moana. Where do I even begin with all the ways that I love this girl? She’s smart and funny. She’s strong yet understanding. She’s brave. So brave. She loves her family. She takes the traditional hero’s journey and faces her fears like I can only hope my daughter will one day.

I love so many other things about this film, too: I love that the story presents the real issue of how limited our resources can become. That even in paradise, trouble can arise at any moment. I love the way it embraces an elder, even if they give her the nickname of “village crazy lady.” I love that farm animals are friends not food. I love that no one wears shoes and that my daughter noticed this. I love that coconuts may still have yet another use we’d never thought of. I love that Moana doesn’t need a man to solve her problems – and in fact, it turns out, he needed her to fix his. I love that the plot twist (spoiler) is that the fiery monster Te Kā was Te Fiti all along, just disconnected from her own heart. If that’s not a worthy lesson for kids (and their, ahem, many changing moods), I don’t know what is. In fact, that may be the most critical lesson here in a lot of ways. (And yes, for the record, I deeply love that Bowie-inspired no-one-could-have-done-it-better “Shiny” performance by Jemaine Clement.)

But, according to Redbook, if my daughter embodies this character of color so filled with, well, character and color, this Halloween, then both she and I are racists. End of story.

“To pretend to be a racial, ethnic or religious minority when you’re not makes light of their history,” the Redbook “Editors” wrote, “and reinforces a deeply problematic power dynamic, wherein white people use, then discard, pieces of cultures they’ve subjugated for centuries just because they can.”

I read this over and over because I want to do the right thing. Because I can’t believe we’re at this point. Because I’m terrified someone might spit on my child for wearing a costume that makes her poised and proud, just because her parents are white.

My daughter doesn’t know she’s white-white. She sees her skin, of course, and it’s not white. It’s pinkish in parts, beige-ish in most others. One of her bestie’s skin is as dark as night. Her neighbor, just a year younger, has hair as yellow as a daisy. Her daddy’s eyes are as blue as the sky. (And her mom’s hair color, well, that comes out of a box.) She sees this rainbow around her and she only understands the nuances of colors, the depth and beauty, not the lines we draw around them. And she certainly doesn’t love Moana because of or despite her skin color. She loves her because of her true colors.

At four years old, my daughter’s not culturally appropriating anything. She’s aiming. She’s setting her sights on someone who resonates, who motivates, and a story so genuine that it feels right to her. Because it is right. Because a girl who stands up to fear and danger and all for the benefit of other people is the world we desperately need right now, so much so that a preschooler can’t even seem to talk about much anything else.

In fact, if I told my daughter she couldn’t dress up like her favorite Disney character because she’s not Polynesian, or rather, because she’s white, I fear it may be more likely she could one day come to resent people of color because she wasn’t allowed to celebrate them. Isn’t that our whole problem in the first place? These god-awful displays of racism stem from a belief that people aren’t worthy, that they’re suspect, that they either took something from us or owe us something else. That what they look like, or what they wear is a bad thing because it’s different. And telling my daughter she can’t be this girl because of the terrible mistakes other people have made throughout history doesn’t solve a problem. It creates one.

I want my daughter to know no sharp edges between herself and her friends or her community. In fact, we’ve immersed her in an international school  that focuses on world cultures for this very reason. At age 4 she’s been exposed to more languages on a daily basis than I had been by age 20.

It’s only a “power dynamic,” Redbook, if she thinks these cultures owe her anything. And there’s no reason in the world for her to think that – and not just because she’s only 4 years old. She’s not “using and discarding” anything. Yes, she may grow out of her Moana phase eventually, but the lessons, the value, the poetry of that story – that’s something that will hopefully stick with her forever. And really, isn’t that the point? Isn’t that why Disney made the film in the first place? To empower the people represented in the story, to acknowledge the wisdom and the traditions? To give us new heroes? Don’t you think Lin Manuel Miranda takes his projects seriously and with respect? Don’t you think Dwayne Johnson wanted this story to be told not just for his own connection but also for his half-Spanish and half-white daughters? And what about Auliʻi Cravalho – the talented young actress who played Moana? Would she have agreed to do the film if everyone but white people could see it? How does that change anything? I know I’m all 20 questions here, but don’t children deserve the opportunity to be fully immersed in what makes them feel beautiful and strong and brave? Whether that’s a LeBron James jersey or a Moana costume – isn’t denying that just projecting our own convoluted grown-up bullshit?

Sure, I could stuff her in a Ghostbusters costume and placate her with corn syrup, but all she’d do is long to be Moana. Not letting her wear it doesn’t remove that desire. It’s just like Moana’s dad not letting her go past the reef. And we all know how that turned out.

If not being Polynesian prevents my daughter from being allowed to celebrate this story, then what should she be watching or wearing? By this logic, if we don’t embrace and immerse ourselves in other cultures, all she’ll know is Cinderella or Rapunzel and find herself locked away in her own castle of ignorance, waiting for someone to set her free. Or, like so many white girls I’ve known, she’ll wind up following the white rabbit down the hole into worlds not as forgiving as Wonderland. That’s not the world I want her to grow up in. It’s the world I’ve been trying to change. Women face enough challenges as it is. How can we protect each other if we we’re not allowed to love each other?

Toward the end of the film Moana encourages Maui to come back to the island with her, telling him her people could use a good wayfinder. “They already have one,” he says, looking straight at her, proudly. She understands. So does my daughter. It’s a powerful moment, the truth that Moana had been seeking all along has finally come to the surface. It was always inside her, of course, but now she’s got the strength and the courage to lead her people into a prosperous future. When will that happen for the rest of us?

Find Jill on Twitter and Instagram

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The post Moana Costumes are Racist? Aren’t They the Best Defense Against Racism We Have? appeared first on EcoSalon.

How many projects teach kids about engineering, teamwork, and creativity?

Not many. That’s why the project in the video below is so special. Watch it to see what these kids have come up with and marvel at their awesomeness.

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Know anyone who thinks that the best parents are straight parents? Well, today is the day you get to bust those small-minded bubbles because science has yet again proved that same-sex couples make great parents, too.

This is totally not surprising, but still pretty rad information comes from a recent Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics study.

The researchers embarked on the study to “compensate for the shortcomings of previous studies, which recruited same-sex parent families,” CNN reports.

About the study

Researchers took data from the National Survey of Children’s Health to examine how parents and their children fared, Vox reports.

The researchers came to their conclusion by using the National Survey of Children’s Health on emotional and physical well-being. The research team matched 95 same-sex female parent households to 95 different-sex parents based on these characteristics:

• Parents’ age
• Parents’ level of education
• Whether parents were born in the United States
• Family residence (urban or rural)
• Child’s age
• Child’s race
• Child’s gender
• Whether the child was born in the United States or elsewhere

One interesting aspect the study did discover was that lesbian parents had a higher level of parenting stress because of “perceived homophobia.”

But “although the analysis found that same-sex parents tended to report modestly more parenting stress, it found no difference in outcomes, such as general health and learning behaviors, among the children of opposite-sex and same-sex parents,” Vox reports.

The importance of the research

The goal of this study was to complete a population-based comparison, CNN adds.

“It is the only study to compare same-sex and different-sex parent households with stable, continuously coupled parents and their biological offspring,” Dr. Nanette Gartrell, one of the study’s authors, says. “Parents feel pressured to justify the quality of their parenting more than their heterosexual counterparts. We also suspect and feel that more study is warranted, but the cultural spotlight on same-sex parenting may be part of the stress.”

While this study is amazing, we hope researchers keep looking at this topic because the more research that’s conducted, the more good science can be shoved in the faces of haters.

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Image of same sex parents via Shutterstock

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Mondays are bad. And you could argue that they are just as bad as stepping in dog poop.

The video below shows a poor kid’s reaction after stepping barefoot into a pile of dog poop. Yes, kid. Life is shitty sometimes, and Mondays typically always are.

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Image: Georgie Pauwels

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EcoSalon chats with Keya Chatterjee, Senior Director for renewable energy and carbon footprint outreach at the World Wildlife Fund, and author of a new book about carbon-free parenting.

Before getting pregnant, Keya Chatterjee and her husband lived the type of low-carbon lifestyle that most of us only dream of. No car, no refrigerator, and 100 percent of their home’s energy supplied by solar panels. Once their baby Siddarth arrived, Chatterjee knew they were going to have to make some changes, but still wanted to keep their carbon footprint minimal.

Doing so took a lot of research and dedication, something that’s probably far down the list of priorities for expecting parents who’ve had their lives turned upside down. Thankfully, Chatterjee chronicled the entire process and put it into a book that can serve as a guide for the rest of us.

We recently caught up with Chatterjee to ask her some questions about the book and what she learned while writing it. Keep reading to find out what she had to say.

Eco Salon: What inspired you to write this book?

Keya Chatterjee: As a person who works on climate change, it was a tough decision to decide to have a baby– I was worried about the kind of world I would be bringing my baby into, and I was worried that having a baby would mean having to give up on our relatively sustainable lifestyle. I did tons of research while I was pregnant about the carbon pollution associated with different decisions we were making– about whether to move, what kind of birth we wanted, how to diaper (or not!), how to feed our baby, and even what type of child care to secure. It was harder than I thought it would be to find out what the most sustainable options were, so once I compiled it I really wanted to share it with other parents who might have the same interest in protecting the future for their babies.

ES: What aspect of having or raising a baby would people be surprised to hear carries a large carbon footprint?

KC: It’s electricity and transportation that makes the biggest difference– much bigger than diapers, which are nonetheless top of mind for many new parents. Parents could make a huge difference by deciding to move to a smaller home that is close to public transportation, or deciding to switch to a more efficient vehicle. Our carbon footprint actually got negative by giving up air travel, so transportation makes a huge difference even when it is for vacations!

ES: How do you respond to those who say the greenest thing we can do is not have kids at all?

KC: It’s a fair point, which is why I have a chapter on adoption in the Zero Footprint Baby. That said, as a parent, however you become a parent, you have a much bigger personal stake in the future of the planet, and that has made me even more engaged and committed. Also, I crunch the numbers in the book and show that it is possible to reduce your carbon footprint as you add a new bundle of joy to the family!

ES: What’s the most useful green parenting tip that you discovered while writing this book?

KC: What was most useful for me was finding out what changes had a huge impact on my carbon footprint and what changes had a more modest impact. Diapers are on our minds a lot, but solar panels make a bigger difference. I also discovered that the cost of solar panels has come down 75% since we bought ours in 2008, and that many homeowners today would save money immediately installing them, whereas it took us four or five years to get to the point where our electricity is basically free.

ES: We recently reported on Alicia Silverstone’s breast milk-sharing program “Kind Mama Milk Share.” Are there other types of peer-to-peer sharing or swapping can help parents raise a low-impact kid?

KC: Oh yes, ThredUp is a great website for helping parents share clothes, and so is Encore baby registry, which helps new parents register for second hand items. I also used Craigslist a lot, and our neighborhood listserve.

The Zero Footprint Baby is available on Amazon for $12.97.

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The post How To Raise A Zero Carbon Footprint Baby: Author Keya Chatterjee appeared first on EcoSalon.

Kids grow like weeds. Save money and reduce waste by choosing furniture that can accommodate every growth spurt.

One of my best friends recently had a baby. Scratch that–actually her daughter just turned one, and is already yelping out words and scooting around the house. “How can you be 1?”, I wrote in her birthday card, “You were just a bump!”

Kids grow fast, in the blink of an eye really. The comparison to weeds is well-earned. The tiny overalls that were so cute a month ago now expose chubby ankles as the wearer expands toward the sky. Same thing goes for furniture. Buying a tiny bed or desk might seem adorable right now, but the brilliance quickly fades when you realize they’ll outgrow it before first grade even starts.

Modular furniture is designed to be flexible. Much like a new parent’s sleep schedule, it’s adaptable, changing at a moment’s notice depending on the child, activity, and available space. Yes, the average piece of flex furniture costs a bit more than conventional pieces, but you have to factor in future savings: shell out a little more up front, and the next bed or desk you buy might be fitted to their college dorm room.

1. Smart Kid Conversion Set by Adensen

Made of high-quality birch wood and non-toxic lacquer, Smart Kid is a multi-functional set of furniture that morphs along with your child. It can be assembled into a crib with a changing table and storage drawers, or a desk with a chalkboard, a bigger bed and all the drawers your child will need as it grows older. Suitable for children up to 10 years old. $1,170

2. Ergonomic Desks & Chairs by Posture in Style

Today’s children spend more time sitting than any previous generation. Designed specifically to promote good posture in young people, Posture in Style’s innovative line of German-made, ergonomic desks and chairs are safe, stylish, and feature rich. With tilt-able desktops, adjustable height surfaces and chairs, and customizable colors and designs, they’re an investment that cannot be outgrown. Chairs start at $475, desks around $800.

3. AZ Desk by Guillaume Bouvet

Who say’s children’s furniture has to look like it fell out of a circus truck? The AZ Desk possesses a modern sleekness worthy of an adult office, never mind the fact that it will certainly be covered in finger paint at some point. It includes a chair and writing surface that get taller as your child moves from toddler to adult. “Even the writing surface “grows up,” converting from a kiddie-friendly chalkboard into an ergonomic table,” reports Fast Co. Design.

4. Growth Table by Tim Durfee and Iris Anna Regn

In today’s busy world, work and school can often stand in the way of quality family time. The Growth Table is meant to encourage the entire family to gather together at the same surface, whether coloring, doing homework or paying bills. Especially perfect for homeschooling families with multi-aged children!

5. Grow Bike by Orbea

Admittedly, this isn’t a piece of furniture. But bikes are so integral to childhood (and staying active) that we just had to include it. Spanish bike maker Orbea designed a line of bicycles that grow along with your child and (supposedly) last youngsters twice as long as regular bikes. Along with the seat and handlebars, the bike’s lightweight aluminum frame can be adjusted according to height, which eliminates the risk of putting your child on a bike that’s too big before they’re ready.

top image: stevendepolo

The post 5 Fabulous Furnishings That Grow With Your Kids appeared first on EcoSalon.

Got kids? Great, you’ll love this. If not, well…think of it as fantasy baseball for the home.

It all starts innocently enough. You see a wallpaper you like and think, geez, that’s really cute. Next thing you know you’re staking out Pottery Barn Kids, elbowing your romantic partner to get on with it already, and fretting over the goings on of your fallopian tubes.

This ain’t fantasy baseball, girls. Tread carefully on this post, because today we’re delving into kid land. We started responsibly by finding some baby-aware, eco-conscious essentials. And then went for the pretty. Don’t freak out. Creating a dream room for the kid you now have or eventually will is fun, like procreation should be. Another thing you need to keep in mind is that just because you have kids, doesn’t mean your home decor has to look any less cool.

New York-based Aimée Wilder is very particular when it comes to her wallpaper. It’s always cool, for a start. Each roll is created with sustainability in mind. Each pattern is hand silk screened on clay-coated paper. Left over inks are salvaged and reused. The paper itself is manufactured with responsibly-sourced chlorine free fiber.

VOC-free paint is a little more expensive, but that’s because it doesn’t come with all the formaldehyde, benzene, and perchloroethylene attached like the other stuff does. Mythic Paint is a trusted brand, which comes in colors like the lavender “Lav it Up” and soothing blue “Come Fly With Me”.

Young immune systems are fragile and they need to be treated accordingly with hypoallergenic clothes, blankets, and toys. Sheepskin rugs keep babies warm and toasty during cold months, and cool in warm months. Plus they don’t attract dust, dirt or other allergens. When the would-be kid’s not using it, snag it yourself for a spot of meditation. It’s the preferred rug of Kundalini yogis.

Now for the rooms we fantasize over just for the heck of it.

All right, so we’ve shown you ours. Now it’s time to tweet us your possibly, maybe, way down the line fantasy kids rooms.

Images: msscott218; Family Living via Aimée Wilder; Mythic Paint; Nature Baby; Mommy Goes Green; Pinterest via Inhabitots; Crafty Cake; Our Wee One via The Marion House Book

The post In the Event of Breeding, Fantasy Décor for Your Future Kid appeared first on EcoSalon.

Kids are at once prime marketing targets, financial liabilities, and cheap labor.

The business sector seems to have children in its crosshairs. If they aren’t reporting child labor in their overseas supply chains, companies are aggressively marketing junk food to kids, denying them health care coverage and teaching them the benefits of dirty energy.

Leading Them Down the Garden Path

Scholastic is a brand that has long been synonymous with educational materials, and it won the hearts of millions by bringing the Harry Potter stories to the U.S. However, the company recently had to recall a fourth grade educational curriculum it developed in collaboration with the American Coal Foundation after a major public outcry.

Scholastic materials are used in 90 percent of American classrooms, and children, parents and teachers alike have come to trust them. But Scholastic has made questionable decisions about partnering with companies that many feel have compromised the quality and integrity of their materials. Are sponsored educational materials developed for learning, or are they just ads disguised as schoolwork?

The United States of Energy champions coal as an essential energy source, ignoring the issues that come with it, such as greenhouse gas emissions, toxic waste, and mountaintop removal. This book discusses the different energy alternatives, but does not steer students to ask any questions about which one might be harmful, or consider any consequences due to production.

The materials went out to 66,000 fourth grade teachers and were used for three years until child advocacy groups kicked up a fuss and The New York Times criticized the sponsored materials. After expressing enthusiasm over the partnership and hoping to expand it to fifth grade materials, the CEO of Scholastic released a statement declaring they would no longer produce or distribute the title beginning May 2011.

This isn’t Scholastic’s only partnership misstep. Advocacy groups have also protested a previous campaign encouraging kids to drink SunnyD, a sugary, fruit-flavored drink, to earn free books. Scholastic, you’ve disappointed us so.

What Do You Mean You Use Child Labor?

Apple makes stunning products, even their packaging is elegant. However, they build many of their products overseas, requiring them to utilize foreign suppliers, and the computer giant has uncovered some very ugly practices in their supply chain. In addition to health and safety violations and negative environmental impact, Apple has found that their suppliers have employed child labor.

Apple’s Supplier Responsibility 2011 Progress Report showed that the company discovered 49 underage workers across nine facilities, and 42 underage workers in another facility. Apple has pledged to make “social responsibility a fundamental part of the way we do business, we insist that our suppliers take Apple’s code as seriously as we do,” but what is their responsibility regarding third-party contractors? As a condition of doing business can they compel them to meet certain criteria? It is a question that many companies that use third-party labor struggle with.

In this case, Apple split the baby. For the first nine facilities, the company mandated that the suppliers must support the underage workers’ return to school. They also demanded that those facilities change their recruitment practices and age-verification procedures. Since these suppliers have indicated that they would comply, Apple has chosen to continue to do business with them.

As for the remaining facility with 42 underage workers, Apple instituted the same requirements, but later decided the supplier was non-compliant. Apple has since voided its contract with this supplier.

But should Apple have terminated its business with all of these suppliers? Isn’t using child labor until being forced to stop indicative of a less-than-ethical supplier? This has been a recurring problem.

Sweets to the sweet

Food marketing is big business, but the Federal Trade Commision (FTC) limits the amount of time companies can market junk food to children on television. However, marketers have found a new avenue around that restriction – the web. Obesity experts are concerned since much of the food being marketed to kids is sugary, high-calorie snacks and drinks, and companies are finding multiple, innovative ways to attract kids.

Companies like General Mills (LuckyCharms.com), McDonald’s (HappyMeal.com and McWorld.com), and Kellogg’s (AppleJacks.com) have developed multimedia games, online quizzes and cell phone and tablet apps designed to lure young internet users. In the past, companies had to sell parents on their products. Now, they can largely bypass the parents and appeal directly to kids.

The Atlantic’s Marion Nestle quotes Advertising Age statistics that show that over half of parents surveyed believe their children should be able to go online on their own by age six, and can use a cell phone for games by age five. The New York Times says that hundreds of thousands of visitors are hitting these sites each month, and about half are under the age of twelve.

Many say it’s the parents’ job to run interference, but it’s difficult when the messages are coming from all directions. The obesity problem in the U.S. has reached epidemic proportions, and experts trace much of the issue back to childhood eating habits. With children influencing household spending while inundated with images and games of sugary foods, parents are losing the battle.

Federal agencies have decided to step in. The Federal Trade Commission, Food and Drug Administration, Center for Disease Control, and United States Dairy Association all partnered to propose new nutritional standards for food marketed to children ages 2-17. Foods either had to contain certain nutritional elements (no sugary drinks or fatty food allowed), or they could not be marketed. So, companies could choose to continue to produce fattening food with limited avenues of marketing, or produce more nutritional food that falls within the guidelines of marketing to that all-important age group.

To date, those guidelines have not been passed, leading to speculation that the companies are fighting these regulations behind the scenes. A decision should be made in the next few months. Just as they forced Joe Camel into retirement, will the Keebler Elves and their brethren receive their marching papers, or will they find themselves promoting healthier fare?

Don’t Come to Us for Help

The redesign of America’s healthcare system has caused so much anger and distress that politicians are literally at each others throats, health care lobbyists are working overtime, and the public doesn’t know what will come next or how it will impact them.

In early 2010, President Obama signed into law health care reform legislation. One of the major provisions of the bill was that insurance carriers must offer insurance to children with pre-existing conditions. In response, several major U.S. insurance carriers announced that they were dropping individual child-only insurance plans just days before parts of the health care law were to go into effect. WellPoint, CoventryOne and Aetna, Inc., among others, announced their intention to discontinue offering the plans in several states.

Insurance companies began to fall like dominoes, and within a few months there was hardly a child-only plan to be found anywhere. Insurance companies claimed that the new legislation allowed families to avoid paying insurance premiums for their children until they were sick, and then signing them up for insurance, potentially costing insurance companies millions.

Other scenarios include parents who work for companies that don’t cover dependents and need insurance just for their children, or parents who are out of work and decide to just cover their children because they can’t afford a more expensive family plan. Children with or without pre-existing conditions were still covered under a family plan that includes an adult, and children with existing child-only plans were not immediately affected.

In early 2011, states started to fight back, passing their own legislation that levied harsh punishments on insurance companies who refused to offer child-only plans. Many companies, realizing they would lose more revenue due to the state sanctions, grudgingly reinstated the plans.  Others instituted enrollment at certain times of the year. What’s up in the air is how much premiums will cost families.

Child-only plans represent a small percentage of insurance business, yet many children in the U.S. still aren’t covered. Taking this step to make it that much more difficult to insure children left many insurance critics with a sour taste in their mouths.

A Better Future?

The good news is that many of these companies are voluntarily making changes, some due to public pressure, some due to company conscience, but changes nonetheless. In some cases government or governing agencies are stepping in and mandating compliance. Are children disproportionately targeted by businesses to increase profits or minimize financial risks? Children are a booming market so the temptation will always be there, but it’s up to the public to keep it from being a dog-eat-puppy world.

image: thejbird

The post Targeting Tiny appeared first on EcoSalon.

Nope, not like in the innocent ’50s and ’60s when the biggest thing to fear was the Boogie Man and The Blob. Not even like the ’70s, when middle class parents let their brood stay out on bikes in the ‘burbs until dark.

But was it really safer back then? If you buy into recent statistics, kids are actually as safe or safer now. A recent study by CCRC (Crimes Against Children Research Center) tells us sexual assault, bullying and other violence against children went down substantially between 2003 and 2008. Crime against grown ups is down too, although no one is quite sure why. Though experts are baffled and cannot put a finger on it, they can assert that media coverage is distorting our reality.

News programming must fill time. Thus, the media has a feeding frenzy with random acts of horror – Columbine bully revenge, abuse cases, molestation, neglect and the recent Tuscon, Arizona shooting spree that killed six people, including 9-year-old Christina-Taylor Green. As someone who has worked for a 24-hour news network, I can tell you the goal is brainstorming as many angles as possible.

The images we are bombarded with create a chilling effect, aptly addressed in the book Free- Range Kids by syndicated columnist, Lenore Skenazy. She preaches that walking kids home from bus stops and forcing them indoors out of fear of imminent stranger danger is not only harmful to their psyches but does nothing to protect them from the most common offenders – people the kids know and trust. Instead of draconian sex offender registries, she says we are ahead of the game when we train children to protect themselves.

“David Finkelhor, the head of CCRC, reminds us that by constantly focusing on strangers, we are looking in the wrong direction,” Skenazy tells me. “If you want to keep kids safe, teach them starting at age three to discern good and bad touches, that they don’t have to do something an adult says if it feels weird or creepy, and that you won’t be mad if they tell you that something happened.”

Skenazy shared in her book about letting her own 10-year-old ride the Long Island Rail by himself, and took flack from observers like Dr. Laura – the same kind of bad mommy flack Ayelet Waldman took for confessing she loved her husband more than her kids, or Amy Chua for her recent Tiger Mom tales of raising highly restricted yet successful Chinese kids. But Skenazy sticks to her guns, insisting the crime rate today is equal to what it was back in 1970 and it is a bigger danger to strip children of freedom to roam the range.

“If you were a child in the ’70s or the ’80s and were allowed to go visit your friend down the block, or ride your bike to the library, or play in the park without your parents accompanying you, your children are no less safe than you were,” she says. “But it feels so completely different, and we’re told that it’s completely different, and frankly, when I tell people that it’s the same, nobody believes me. We’re living in really safe times, and it’s hard to believe.”

So hard to believe, the author and blogger says her book isn’t selling as well as one that might hype stranger danger and the abductions and killings that might result. In terms of hyping, she points to the recent boom in baby snatching hysteria over the hospital crime involving a North Carolina woman who turned herself in after taking a baby from a New York hospital more than two decades ago.

“Now there are specials on television telling us how to protect ourselves from this terrible fate and what galls me is the fact some four million babies are born in hospitals and one is taken, so the tips they are giving us are erroneous,” complains Skenazy. “CNN keeps harping on the fact babies are usually taken when mothers are in the bathroom, but there is no usually. As a result, new mothers – no matter how tired or weak they are – must grab the baby into the bathroom, otherwise they are not being a good mom and protecting their child.”

The safeguarding now extends to the internet which is considered by many to be the most threatening modern day crime spot for minors, one that literally brings pornographers and predators into our homes. Schools too, try to take a bite out of slime by offering internet safety as part of parent education, reacting to programs like the Today Show which told us danger lurks just click away.

Does it mean the filters we install just aren’t working, or is it that, just as in the mall or at the bus stop, kids must be taught how to ignore the weirdos who cross their path?

“With increased access to and depth of the virtual world, the potential dangers change rather than getting simply safer or not,” points out David Abusch-Magder, head of Middle School at Brandeis Hillel Day School in San Francisco. “No one is going to get run over by a computer or shot by a stray bullet coming from the computer, so it’s really about educating and working with students to build a common vocabulary to understand the dangers and to monitor their use.”

Skenazy insists the web is just another avenue used by society to make children deathly afraid of all strangers, while the reality is the web is no different from other public places where informed kids should know how to avoid being taken in by someone they don’t know.

“Studies show the places kids are in danger on the web are the equivalent of the red light districts in real life, sexually oriented chat rooms and you are putting yourself in a comprising place by going there,” says Skenazy. “Just X out or ignore the freaks. I tell my kids the same things as in real life -you can talk to people but you can’t go with anyone you meet; you can give someone directions but you never go with them in their car.”

Our kids are also in danger when they ride with us in our cars – in fact, car crashes are the number one way kids are killed in the United States. But as Skenazy points out, we don’t go through paroxysms of self doubt when we drive them to the dentist.

“The fear becomes a template of all of our parenting,” she says. “The danger may be remote but we are bad parents, incredibly negligent if now protecting them every second of the day. That is what makes us crazy about letting our kids do anything.”

In fact, the Blessing of the Skinned Knee theory argues not coddling kids and giving them more freedom early on allows them to function once they flee the nest, something past generations enjoyed much more than our own children. There will always be crime but we can believe the statistics on random incidents of violence and overcome our template of fear. By doing so, our kids might be able to tell their own children stories about hanging out at the neighborhood park and riding bikes until dark.

Images: Cia de Foto, Jezblog

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