What have you always dreamed of doing? What’s on your bucket list? What life-changing experiences must you check off before you die? We all want to live a fulfilling life–to be happy and carefree. Here’s my list of life-changing experiences that should be on your bucket list:

41 Life-Changing Experiences

1. Live at an ashram.

2. Learn to sail.

3. Trek to Everest Base Camp.

4. Learn to play an instrument.

5. Sky dive (just once because I’m scared of heights).

6. Do a backbend in front of the Taj Mahal.

7. Take a dip in an Icelandic hotspring.

8. Visit the Monastery (Al Dier) in Jordan.

9. Live like a writer in Tangiers.

10. Drive a convertable down California’s Route 1.

11. Go skinny dipping.

12. Climb Table Mountain in South Africa.

13. Trek the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

14. Learn to surf.

15. Travel the Trans Siberian Railway

16. Break it down at Mardi Gras.

17. Write a book.

18. Watch the World Cup in person.

19. Camp in the desert.

20. Go on a silent retreat.

21. See a mountain gorilla in its habtitat.

22. Learn to Tango.

23. Hike the Applachian Trail

24. Learn to cook traditional Indian cuisine.

25. Checkout Oktoberfest.

26. Zipline through a Costa Rican rainforest.

27. Learn a new language.

28. Run a marathon.

29. Go scuba-diving.

30. Go rock-climbing.

31. Go on a volunteer vacation.

32. Fly in a hot air balloon.

33. See the Northern Lights.

34. Grow your own food.

35. Live in a foreign country for at least 6 months (or more).

36. Drive from coast to coast.

37. Take a sabbatical and travel the globe.

38. Sell or give away everything that you don’t need.

39. Check out the array of African wildlife at Kruger National Park.

40. Look over the edge of Victoria Falls.

41. Save up and splurge on a ridiculously expensive tasting menu.

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I went to CAMP, curated by Unique LA, and they took my phone for four days. I was warned, which is not the same as being prepared.

This isn’t going to be one of those stories about how I disconnected from technology, hugged a llama (okay, actually, I totally hugged a llama) and found my true self.

This won’t end with me returning to daily life dedicated to unplugging. I haven’t set a reminder to turn off my phone and, last night, I was looking at Instagram as I started to fall asleep. That said, I did learn something really important when I was stripped of my phone.

I thought I was pretty prepared for my four-day CAMP experience. I packed layers, signed up for workshops, remembered to bring a hat and set my out of office email with a cute little photo provided by the Unique team. I arrived at the Unique LA HQ on time, picked up my giant bag of CAMP goodies and hopped on a bus.

I chatted with my seatmates on the two-hour ride, all of us alternating between talking and phone-ing. When we hit the camp, a functioning YMCA camp in Big Bear that had been outfitted for us—basically, the place was hipster-bombed—the first order of business was dumping our stuff in our rooms. Then, we gathered together as a group to meet our counselors and trade our phones for a low-tech Casio watch.

Dropping my phone into its little canvas bag with my name on it, I felt nothing. Not yet. I was excited and nervous about the next few days. I didn’t need my phone.

CAMP was, in many ways, the fantastic experience I knew it would be. I took workshops, did yoga twice a day, spent tons of time outside in nature and met truly inspiring and interesting people — I haven’t fully decompressed and I think the bigger lessons will take some time to gel.

It was also harder than I thought it might be. It turns out that I know nothing about trying to breathe at 7,200 feet, I’d forgotten that I don’t enjoy sharing quarters with strangers (lovely though they were) and didn’t really consider that I would likely have trouble bonding with 200 new people without alcohol as a social lubricant.

My first night at CAMP was like all of my other first nights in new places—I wanted to go home.

I remembered being a kid at Happy Hollow Girl Scout camp thinking, “Happy my ass. This was a terrible idea.” And then, in high school, arriving at Wellesley College for a 3-week summer program and thinking, “Shit.” And, when my parents left me in my first dorm room thinking, “Oh fuck, I am going to, like, LIVE here.”

Like CAMP, all of those situations happened without smartphones. I didn’t have a way to get comfort from anyone else on those first nights. I was alone and I had to go to sleep and get ready to wake up and dig in.

Digging in at Girl Scout camp meant writing my parents hateful letters every day until the last day when I wrote to say I was having fun and wanted to stay. In high school, it meant locating the smokers and being moody—which was also my approach in college with the addition of beer. But the first nights, in all of these situations, I was alone in a bed with no recourse.

My first night at CAMP, as most people wandered to the late night tents to drink cocktails and bond, I went to my room. Yes, I could have gone and had a soda. Theoretically. In reality, I simply couldn’t.

So, I walked back to my room, hoping not to encounter a mountain lion or snake, and got in bed. I desperately wanted to text my husband. I thought about what his response to my despair would be: “You’ll be fine. Have fun tomorrow.” Useless fucker.

Then I imagined what my best friend would say, “Oh no! Are you okay?” Then I imagined the wallowing I would indulge in, and how the 865 texts back and forth would feel good for a while, and then make me feel worse and even more alone.

Even though it wouldn’t have been what I wanted to hear, I took my husband’s phantom text advice and went to bed. I got up early and dug in.

This time, digging in didn’t mean getting angry or self-destructive. It meant that I got up early every day and went to yoga. I talked to people. I talked to more people. I went to workshops. I ate meals and made friends. I did camp stuff. I hugged a llama. I had fun.

Me and my llama

The only time I really missed my phone was when I wanted to show a new friend a photo of my life back home—which was really a desire to connect more with the present, not to escape into technology. [Insert back pat.]

What I found out is that it’s not the phone I am addicted to, it’s the security of being able to instantly connect with people that know me. People that love me. People who will save me from having to work through the tough shit myself.

What I learned is that I am perfectly capable of talking myself out of my own pity party and digging in without self-destructing. I have no plans to go phoneless. Ever. But, I do think I can commit to pausing before texting or emailing and think about whether I might be able to work through the issue on my own.

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Images: The Unique CAMP, Libby Lowe

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ColumnLife lessons at [insert decade here] articles geared toward women are super popular. Here’s one more.

I turned 37 a few weeks ago and a number of my people are about to cross from the 30s to the 40s, including my husband.

So I read other people’s life lessons. I think, do I know that? Will I find that out later? Do I agree with that? Did I know that sooner than the person writing this—meaning, did I win? Just kidding about that last one.

“What You Learn in Your 40s,” published at the end of February in the New York Times, is the latest in a long string of articles for and by women about what we wish we knew, what we know now and what we know we don’t know yet.

In my estimation, although I am a few years behind in my own evolution, Pamela Druckerman got a few things really right—and one really wrong—in her Times piece.

The best of her learnings: “There are no soul mates… It’s an earned title. They’re made over time.” And: “When you meet someone extremely charming, be cautious instead of dazzled.” Good one, Pamela.

And the worst, her glib last line: •”When you’re unsure if it’s a woman or a man, it’s a woman.” First, this is simply not true. Second, it falls into the transphobic category.

See this year’s Ellen Degeneres Oscar joke gone wrong about Liza Minnelli for a lesson in how thoughtless comments about presumed sex and gender can really hurt feelings—even when those jokes come from one of the most vocal supporters in the LGBTQ community.

So, I offer you a few life lessons I have picked up (in addition to the obvious one about not making transphobic jokes):

This is what 37-year-olds look like.

People who are younger than I am remark: “You don’t look 37!” I do, though. I think this is what most urban-dwelling 37-year-olds look like. What people mean, I think, is: You don’t look old like my mom did when she was 37. But, the reality is, our moms probably didn’t look any older than we do, but we thought everyone over 16 was really, really old.

You and your person can take separate vacations—and maybe should.

My husband and I went on a snowboarding trip to Utah with friends last winter. The thing is, I don’t snowboard. Or ski. Or like being cold. I had fun with him and my friends, but it was kind of not my thing. This year, I went on a yoga retreat in Mexico and he went to Denver to snowboard. We both had a blast and will be traveling together later in the year.

You don’t have to have children.

I have written before about being childfree by choice, but this bears repeating. My experience as a friend to many moms has taught me that  having a kid is really, really hard and you should only do it if you want to. This shouldn’t need to be said, but people still seem to think that opting out of being a mom is a radical and strange thing.

Popcorn and green juice for dinner is totally okay—just not all of the time.

I’m basically the healthiest I have ever been. Over the last 10 years, I have quit smoking, drinking alcohol and eating meat. I do yoga and spin on a regular basis. Sometimes I eat popcorn covered in fake butter and tons of salt for dinner, slug down a green juice, then eat a bowl of cashews and two Lara bars and call it a day. I’m good with that.

If you can throw money at a fight you and your person keep re-having to solve the problem, do so.

This is why we have someone come clean the house twice a month and why we got a second car.

Surprise birthday presents are not as good as asking for what you want.

This year, I wanted one of those fancy coffee makers that makes one cup at a time. More than that, I wanted not to do the research about which one to get, not to read the directions and not to have to set it up. I got all of these things and I am thrilled.

As I careen toward 40, I get why it’s reassuring to think about what I know and believe. There’s comfort in thinking: At least I have some things figured out.

I also agree with most people who write these “I’m so much smarter than I was when I was 20-something” essays that there’s danger in putting all your smarts out there into the public realm—and calling them smarts.

I mean, there’s a great chance that in 10 years, or five, or one, I will read this and think: Wow, that was really stupid.

Which leads me to a last thing that I have learned: Nothing on the internet will ever really go away and I don’t care. This is who I am today.

That Happened is Libby Lowe’s weekly column for EcoSalon analyzing media, news and pop culture through a feminist lens. Keep in touch with Libby @LibbyLowe.

Image: Selfie featuring an Orange Is the New Black cell phone case.

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Ignore the reality shows and perfume ads. Here are surprisingly valuable things we can learn from famous women.

From the moment we’re born, humans learn by example. Life is continually full of lessons (some effortless, some difficult) for us to soak up like a sponge.

But what can we learn from famous women? These women are always in the spotlight, and are often judged and criticized by people they’ve never met. The truly classy ones still manage to emerge graceful and unscathed. As life lessons go, these famous women have more to teach us than first meets the eye.

4 Life Lessons from Famous Women

1. Speak Up for Your Beliefs

Fourteen year-old Malala Yousafzai was shot in the head for her outspokenness on bringing light to the power of education for women. “In Pakistan, when we were stopped from going to school, and that time I realized that education is very important, and education is the power for women,” she said in an interview. “And that’s why the terrorists are afraid of education. They do not want women to get education because then women will become more powerful… I will tell him [the Taliban] how important education is and that ‘I even want education for your children as well.”

2. Beauty Comes From the Inside Out

As style icon Audrey Hepburn famously said, “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” It isn’t how much makeup we wear, how we dress or what we own, true poise is found is grace from within.

3. Always Look for the Best in Others

Arguably of the most outlandish famous women of the last century, Lady Gaga stepped into the spotlight with the release of her hit record when she was just 22. Yet to her fans she has always exuded an air of being down to earth, even through her over the top style. She says, “I feel like if you’re a really good human being, you can try to find something beautiful in every single person, no matter what.”

4. A Little Sass Never Hurts

As women we are told to conduct ourselves a certain way–even now in the 21st century there are pressures for women to conform. But first lady, activist and feminist, Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: “Well behaved women rarely make history.” By stepping outside of the boundaries, making our voice heard and following our heart and intuition, we can surely make a positive change in this world.

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image: Hannie85

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VideoTen inspirational life lessons.

I caught The Wolf & The Medallion at 5 Point Film Festival last year, and in the midst of a dark theater, my friends and I were frantically trying to scribble down this list of inspiring 10 life lessons, given from father to son. In the light, those notes were hardly legible, and fortunately artist Jeremy Collins released this section of the film so we can all enjoy it.

The Ten Things from Jeremy Collins on Vimeo.

We love the art of storytelling, so every weekend we bring you videos that have been making the rounds at EcoSalon. Enjoy!

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