Crystals are said to contain metaphysical properties that can align your chakras and heal your body in ways you could never imagine. Curious? Consider this an introduction to quartz’s many rumored properties.

Quartz History

Stone quartz is considered one of the most powerful healing crystals and is also one of the most commonly known. Quartz contains all the colors of the spectrum when held to the light.

The Greeks first documented the existence of quartz during ancient times, in 300-325 BCE. They named it “kristallos”, meaning “ice cold”. The Romans believed that quartz was ice that never melted, and they would use the stone to keep themselves cool during warm weather, wearing rings made of the stone. The Egyptians buried their dead with quartz, as they believed the stone helped guide the deceased safely into the afterlife. Pharaohs carried cylinders filled with quartz to balance their Ba and Ka (spiritual) energies. In 1505, German physician Ulrich Rülein referred to the crystal as “querz” in a publication, and so began its proliferation in other records.

Quartz Forms

Quartz comes in two different forms: macrocrystalline quartz and cryptocrystalline quartz (or microcrystalline quartz). Macrocrystalline quart is made of visible crystals or grains, such as in smoky quartz, rose quartz, and quartz grains in sandstone. Cryptocrystalline quartz is comprised of a dense and compact accumulation of microscopic quartz crystals and crystallites, such as in flint, agate, and radiolarite chert.

The Gist of Healing Crystals

The healing benefits of crystals, including quartz, come down to the stones’ unique composition. Because of the way they are structured, crystals like quartz respond to the input of all kinds of energies surrounding them, causing the crystals to oscillate and emit specific vibratory frequencies. The crystal matrix is balanced and orderly, so the energy it gives off stays consistent – when dissonant energy is put into the crystal, that energy becomes balanced and harmonic.

Crystal enthusiasts say that this balancing of energies is why crystals are healing to the body and its chakra: crystals take what is “off” and bring it back into harmony. Of course, none of the healing benefits of quartz and other crystals are scientifically proven. That’s the clincher. Even so, it hasn’t put the crystal industry out of business, if the recent shenanigans of Spencer Pratt are anything to judge by.

And, indeed, there’s something to be said of ancient traditional practices. If healing crystals have withstood centuries, there must be something there.

Quartz Benefits

If you ask an experienced crystal collector and/or crystology practitioner, you’ll likely be suggested to purchase clear quartz as your first stone. The silicon and oxygen-containing crystal is considered a “master healer” that can be used to treat just about any condition. It’s the go-to crystal.

Clear quartz is said to balance and revitalize the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual planes as well as to cleanse the organs and soul, enhance psychic abilities, aid in concentration, boost memory, and stimulate the immune system.

How to Use Quartz

There are many ways to employ quartz into your everyday life. Here are four basic ways to start:

1. Keep a quartz crystal with you 

Wear quartz in a pouch around your neck or as part of your jewelry. You could also keep the crystal in your pocket.

2. Sleep with quartz at night

Hold a quartz crystal in your hand while you sleep or tuck it under your pillow.

3. Target a chakra

Clear quartz connects you to the spiritual aspects of life, so placing the crystal on your head (standing up) or forehead (lying down), near your pineal gland, best activates and opens your crown chakra.

How to Care for Quartz

To benefit from quartz, it is important to keep the stone clean. In fact, many take the cleansing of crystals as seriously as they do their application.

Here’s how to clean your quartz crystals:

1. Wash them thoroughly under faucet water.

2. Lay them out just after sunset, somewhere where they will get direct moonlight.

3. Let the crystals stay out just through sunrise. It is important they receive sun, but not too much.

4. Charge crystals with your intentions. As you transfer your crystals to their usual resting place, imagine your intentions or even say them out loud. Charge them with whatever emotion you hope to cultivate in your life, such as love, forgiveness, awareness, health, and so on.

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I cannot tell you how thrilled I am that spiritual healing, in one form or another, is making its way into the mainstream. More and more of us want to find happiness and peace in this life we’ve been given. That said–when something becomes popular and even trendy, it can also open the door for those not-so-pure healers to thrive.

1. My Way or the Highway

As humans, we can all be negative at times. We pass judgement, we compare ourselves to others, and we say our path is the only right path. But like Sri Swami Satchidananda says “truth is one, paths are many.”  If a spiritual teacher speaks negatively too often about another form of practice, especially publicly, it can be troubling. While this not a black and white issue, the theme that “their practice is the only one that works” is a turn off to me because negativity isn’t the path to spiritual healing or freedom.

2. Driven By Cash

Everyone has to make a living, even spiritual leaders, but it shouldn’t be the only motivation. While making a living is important, spiritual healing, yoga, and meditation shouldn’t be confined to the rich. While there’s a fine line between being rewarded for good work and being greedy, a spiritual leader that’s also a salesman or woman can be problematic.

3. A Dark Side

To trust a spiritual leader, you need to able to trust their purity. Spiritual healing takes prana, or life force, and excessive sex, drugs, and alcohol drain your body of prana. Getting drunk at a wedding is one thing but larger, nastier scandals have caused big time spiritual leaders to fall from grace. Anusara creator John Friend was accused of and admitted to having marijuana sent to his home office, freezing the pensions of his employees, and having an affair with a married yoga teacher, among many other controversies. Other teachers like Bikram Choudhury have been embroiled in sex scandals galore.

Again, we all make mistakes, and it’s not about judgement, but there are some guidelines that should be observed in order to be a role model to other seekers.

Related on EcoSalon

7 Signs Spiritual Materialism is Ruining Everything

Buddha Style: Do Spirituality and Style Have to Be Mutually Exclusive?

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Image: Barry Silver

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Remember “The Secret”? The 2006 movie and book that promised to change your life just by, you know, wishing for stuff? (But wishing in a really spiritual way.) That may have been the thing that kicked our modern spiritual materialism movement into high gear, but it looks like that chapter might be coming to a close.

We’re not talking religion here. (That would be too dogmatic.) But, really, what is spirituality? We know what it’s not. And these signs signal the End Times of a culture that’s been way over-commercialized and marginalized to the point that it’s lost all meaning.

1. Overuse of the phrases “I’m spiritual but not religious” and/or “I’m an atheist, but I’m spiritual” have become so dogmatic that you can almost pinpoint who’s going to say it, usually right after someone rolls their eyes about your expensive yoga studio membership.

2. The same goes for explaining the many reasons why splurging on Burning Man boosts ones “spirituality” year after year. But instead of spending that time to go meditate, or plant trees, or offer relief to disaster areas, or walk needy shelter puppies, thousands of people continue to spend millions of dollars every year just to go and sit in a temple in super sexy outfits before it burns to the ground all in the name of spirituality, dancing and drugs (of course).

3.Bikram Choudhury,the millionaire luxury car-collecting yogi to the stars, has been slammed with lawsuits over allegations from former students that the enlightened, bendy, and sex-deprived yogi sexually assaulted them. Why is it so believable? It’s not just the number of allegations, or the fact that the man is more often than not photographed in Speedos, but that he continues on—teaching and preaching about a spiritual lifestyle in the face of such controversy.

4. Spiritual materialism is at an all time high. Just today I saw advertisements in my Facebook feed for “Dress Pants Yoga Pants.” As in, one in the same. They go perfectly with that mala bracelet that’s supposed to be used in meditation, but rarely ever is. Except maybe when road rage cursing takes over the Prius driver after yoga class because someone almost scratched their Coexist bumper sticker and made them spill their kombucha!

5.Veganism, the ethical diet and lifestyle choice for the hippie-freak animal lovers, has hit mainstream in a big way. Mike Tyson’s a die-hard vegan now. The diet has even captured Al Gore and Bill Clinton. So what happens when the woo-woo diet of the spirituality movement becomes really popular? Well for one, vegan cuisine gets really expensive and restaurants impossible to get into. Then, those people who used to be vegan start eating meat, of course. From the flip-flop celebs to the backyard gardeners/urban Brooklyn hipsters who “used to be vegan” but now find more of a spiritual experience in slaughtering expensive breeds of rabbits because they “make a better stew.”

6. Marianne Williamson is running for Congress in California. And now that Henry Waxman is stepping down, the best-selling spiritual teacher, author and lecturer may have a realistic shot at moving from the self-help genre to the self-helpless world of elected officiating. Is it time better spent? Or just egotistic pursuits and arrogance in thinking she can bring some kind of awakening to Congress? Or another book opportunity in the works?

7. Lululemon ruined yoga clothing forever. Not that we need clothes specific designated for yoga anyway, but those pants were kinda comfy. That is, until we could see right through them to everyone’s stinky arses. Offensive comments about thighs made by the now former chairman, founder Chip Wilson, led to his ultimate retirement. The company has brought in Laurent Potdevin from TOMS shoes—another sign the spiritual movement is being overly commercialized. Instead of meditating on or working through your privileged white guilt in real, tangible ways, brands like Lululemon and TOMS tell us to just shop. With a cause, of course. Feel better?

Keep in touch with Jill on Twitter @jillettinger

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Image: Fashionbyhe

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Addressing the idea of “good” and “bad” foods once and for all, a slew of new books on mealtime as meditation are challenging conventional diet thinking. Is it possible that the key to weight loss is not about what you eat, but the way you eat it?

Once upon a time in America, people ate three separate meals a day. Sitting down, at a table. When they ate, they talked to other people and did not eat or even drink anything until the next time they sat down at a table, with people, four to six hours later.

Today, as we perpetually graze, eating while we at our desks or in front of the TV–seemingly uncomfortable to travel more than 2 blocks without clutching a cup of coffee or a water bottle–the idea of proper mealtimes does indeed seem like a tale from a long forgotten time. But like all winning fairy tales, at the heart of it is common sense, simplicity and truth.

Rising obesity rates, type 2 diabetes in children, and perhaps just as pressing, a growing sense of restlessness evident in just about everyone you meet, all point to the need for a shift in thinking. Eating “mindfully,” savoring every mouthful and connecting to the simple pleasures of the table are great ways to  avoid weight gain and slow down our increasingly frenetic-paced lives.

Here are 3 of the best books that tackle the issue, providing some simple tools to get started, and help you discover what you’re really hungry for:

1. Mindful Eating: A Guide to Rediscovering a Healthy and Joyful Relationship with Food By Dr. Chozen Bays

Drawing on her research and experiences as a physician and meditation teacher, Dr. Jan Bays offers a book full of advice on how to use the power of awareness to understand the seven types of hunger. The book includes a 75 minute audio program with the author’s guided exercises for getting started with mindful eating.

2. Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything by Geneen Roth

An engaging story of Roth’s journey of compulsive dieting that led to her gaining and losing more than 1,000 pounds in 17 years, that finally ended when she resolved to never go on another diet again. Inspiring women to nurture the emotional needs that are at the root of binging and restricting patterns of self-abuse, Roth’s book is a humorous, comforting and deeply affective read.

3.  Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life. By Thich Nhat Hanh and Dr. Lilian Cheung

In the tradition of the Buddhist practice of Loving-Kindness (Metta), Nutritionist Dr Lilian Cheung and world-renowned mindfulness teacher, Thich Nhat Hahn show us how to tune into our body’s own wisdom about what, when, and how much to eat while developing a sense of compassion for the struggle so many of us have with eating.

Top Image: Mike Johnson, TheBusyBrain.com

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Could embracing a spiritual approach to style motivate consumers to choose more sustainable fashion?

The fashion industry is fascinating. On one hand you have businesses that create obsolescence and insecurity, and on the other, products that offer tremendous potential as a creative process to make people feel more secure by expressing who they are, or who they’d like to be. And from Oprah to Deepak, yoga classes and meditation seminars, this country clearly has a rapidly growing taste for all things spiritual.

Truth, fairness, interconnectedness and non-violence are values found in all major spiritual paths, and, if you think about it, they’re also embroidered in the sustainable fashion movement. As a writer and environmentalist fascinated with what motivates humans and keenly curious about how to inspire more environmentally-friendly consumer behaviors, I wonder if the trend for turning within could make greater inroads with how we choose clothing, jewelry and accessories than green activism ever managed.

When I came across Buddha Style: A discussion about the Buddha’s radical teachings on fashion and forgiveness, a recently released book about approaching fashion from a Buddhist perspective, I was intrigued.

With its punk-rock illustrations by award-winning sculptor and installation artist Jesse Bercowetz, the book is an engaging and easy-to-follow perspective on both Buddhism and the fashion industry. One purchase (just one more) that might bring some peace for those of us who struggle with our fashion appetites. Recording a discussion between Otto von Busch, a fashion scholar at Parsons the New School for Design in New York, and Josh Korda, a Buddhist teacher at New York Dharma Punx, the small tome speaks to how we can reconcile our relationship to consumerism and begin to live more skillfully with fashion:

We are aversive to pain. We are restless. We are craving for pleasure. And we all want more. It is easy today to look to fashion for salvation. We feel fashion can give us what we need. We can be beautiful. We can be seen. We can be popular. We can become our better self. And it is so accessible. It is everywhere.

Can there be any liberation?

Image: seyed mostafa zamani

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Why do we really need so little?

I sat down to write an article titled, The Dark Side of Minimalism. My “beware of minimalism” sermon was so ready to pour forth. It was gonna go like so:

I stand in my very strong values of minimalism, anti-consumerism, and simplicity. These movements fuel my faith in human consciousness. Increasingly, we are voting with our dollars, ceasing to fill the holes in our souls with plastic stuff, and living more lightly on a highly-burdened eco-system. Uncluttering, vigilante consumerism, and simplification are outbursts of enlightenment. Howevah…

Fear n’ loathing can lurk beneath “right action.” We can use beautiful concepts to reinforce ugly lies about our esteem and self worth. We can use austerity to punish ourselves, and frugality to keep abundance at bay.

So…that’s how I would have kicked ‘er off. But I came across a post from Lianne Raymond, who is like, the Majesty of Questioning Just About Everything: Red Winkle Picker Regret and The Dark Side of Decluttering. And well, I just can’t top this:

Now decluttering has gone mega mainstream. It’s almost religious. It’s rarely questioned. There are gurus and gospels to follow. Salvation shall be yours through decluttering. …

There are some other really obvious reasons why the declutter cult has taken off –

1. Control – In a world that seems out of control, decluttering and organizing can provide an illusion of control. (This is my hall closet).

2. Guilt – as the world continues to shrink, we can more and more see how our unconscious consumption is linked with developing world living conditions and climate change. To purge our possessions can feel like a cleansing confession. (Go in peace and sin no more – and throw in three Hail Marys for good measure.)

3. Perfection/Salvation – all my problems will be solved, my life will be perfect and I will find eternal happiness when I get rid of all my clutter and get organized. (This is a variation on “I will be happy when I am skinny.”)

4. Freedom – getting rid of stuff can give us a temporary hit of feeling free. When our lives feel full of obligation, this is alluring.

When you dig deeper into any of these, you will likely find fear. And if you do have a lot of junk in your life and dig into why you ended up with it in the first place – guess who’s coming to dinner? – fear. So if you are purging from the same mindset that you had while procuring – well, that’s just the other side of the same coin, honey.

Lianne’s lucid, provocative piece goes as deep as asserting that our urge to purge is “pathologizing the feminine in favour of celebrating the masculine” Uhhuh. Like I said, I can’t top that.

Dig it yourself: Red Winkle Picker Regret and The Dark Side of Decluttering

Yours in self-love and the kind of minimalism that affirms your goodness, not your lack.

. . . . . . .

Danielle LaPorte is the author of The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide for Creating Success on Your Own Terms (from Random House/Crown). An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she is the creator of the online program The Spark Kit: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs and co-author of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. Over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice on DanielleLaPorte.com, a site that has been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.”

You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter @daniellelaporte

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Time to pull off the Band-Aids.

Jumping for joy can be counter-intuitive when you’ve been despairing long term. Your cells become expectant of disappointment. The repetition of compromise settles into your muscles and makes reflexes happen. Grey. Less than luminous. Not ideal. In-between half vital and half wanting more. In-between kinda dying and kinda living, a space which can very often be healing, confusing, and wonderfully risky.

Tibetan Buddhists call the place between death and rebirth the Bardo. Catholics have Purgatory. When my Priest explained Purgatory to us in Grade Two, I super-double-dipped-chocolate-vowed to get into heaven, not so much to avoid the flames of hell, but to avoid the total drag of being stuck in between worlds in the Purgatory waiting room of “not quite good enough” losers.

In-between can be terrifically uncomfortable. Like healing, which can be itchy and tight and arduous. And after a while, we can actually manage to get comfortable there, accustomed to the restraints, the warmth of the bandages, tired of how demanding it can be to take good care of ourselves. And so we keep waiting for the fog to lift, naturally. We await the will of heaven. We wait for the meds to kick in. We wait, because, you know, “time heals all things.” (Time, by the way, is not the actual healer. Consciousness is.) And we keep waiting to be healed.

Waiting to be healed can be a tragic form of compromise. When we’re so close to vitality and freedom, we can be lulled by the self-comfort that has served it’s purpose, by the luxury of respites, by the mercy of slow death. Like I said, “in-between” can be risky business. No Buddhist wants to get stuck in the Bardo – they want to come back to life.

The final stages of healing do not necessarily call for organic clearing, but rather, the soul skill of transmutation: intentionally altering your course. Think: wizardry, high-priestess, impassioned agents of change.

TRANSMUTATION, and what my favorite sci-fi movie has to do with getting on with your life…

The Abyss is one of my fave sci-fi movies of the 90’s. A crew of ocean scientists head to new depths of the ocean and it gets rogue and extraterrestrial pretty fast. The scene: Mr. Sexy Sea Captain, “Bud”, played by Ed Harris, and his movie ex-wife, “Lindsey,” played by Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, are trapped in an underwater capsule that’s rapidly filling up with water. It’s dire.

They need to swim back to the mother ship to safety. There’s only one oxygen mask and two of them. The distance is a few meters too far to make it without an air supply. Because Bud is a stronger swimmer, Lindsey decides that she will effectively let herself drown, and then Bud can wear the oxygen mask and swim with her back to the ship to quickly resuscitate her.

I searched high and low to find the complete scene for you online. I really want you to see the part where she is inhaling water and letting her body die, while Bud masks up and prepares to swim her to the ship. It’s deeply moving. It is so metaphorical for the times in your life where you take a deep breath and decide to let it all go – it is the intentional leap into the liminal bardo where we can only trust that we will find life on the other side.

But, I couldn’t find THAT scene (and James Cameron didn’t return my call.) Howevah, what you can view here is the most riveting, moving, nerve-clenching conclusion of that moment where Bud fights for Lindsey’s life.

And THIS is where I get to my point about healing and Transmutation Time:

There comes a time to fight your way out of purgatory. Assess what you learned, bow to your healing process, and tear off the band-aids. Burn things. This is the time to make announcements and head out into the world even if your skin is a bit tender, even if you are limping now.

You bust out of the in-between when you declare that you.have.decided.to.live. No matter what. Such as you are, you are here, and you are ready for more.

Danielle LaPorte is the author of The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide for Creating Success on Your Own Terms (from Random House/Crown). An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she is the creator of the online program The Spark Kit: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs and co-author of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. Over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice on DanielleLaPorte.com, a site that has been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.”

You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter @daniellelaporte

Image: AlexandraGabriela

The post When It’s Time to Stop Healing and Bust Outta Purgatory (And What My Crush on Ed Harris Has to Do With Enlightenment) appeared first on EcoSalon.

Because your feelings need to be limber.

Feelings are magnetic. So it goes that if you generate certain feelings – and you have the power to create any feeling you desire – then you increase the power of your emotional magnetism. But we need to limber up, loosen the images and adjectives encrusted on our goals and most-desired states. It helps to get poetic, lyrical, and abstract. Go there with me.

I want my day to feel like jazz.

I want kissing to feel like eating an orange off the tree from Tuscany.

I want my next success to feel like Adele must feel with her latest album.

I want my body to feel like a Jaguar in a new open field.

I want smiling to feel like mangoes.

I want my friendships to feel like sandalwood oil, and bowls of popcorn, and hand-knit, with Vodka mixers, served up in a red tent.

I want my nervous system to feel like The Buddha must have felt when he discovered The Middle Way.

I want my gigs to feel like Jimmy Page playing Kashmir, and Gaga doing a Born This Way finale, with some Leonard Cohen tenderness.

I want my neighborhood to feel like a new Jason Mraz song.

I want my integrity to feel like the Hope Diamond.

I want my money-making to feel like walking though a vineyard, surveying ripeness, a production of sun and earth for craft and pleasure.

I want my word to feel like gold bullion.

I want my laughter to feel like electric pineapple children.

I want the end of the day to feel like a happy quiet baby.

I want being of service to feel like a Squaw mixing herbs into healing paste for warriors.

I want my philanthropy to feel like a cosmic Queen on her best day.

I want my challenges to feel how Siddhartha felt when the left the kingdom.

I want my love to feel like a gorgeous secret that only he and I know. For eternity.

I want my writing to feel like Citrine, and Jack Kerouac with a fresh buzz on.

I want my ideas to feel like sunrise.

Editor’s Note: Danielle LaPorte is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, which has been called “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality.” She is the author of The Fire Starter Sessions: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs, an inspirational speaker, former think tank exec, and news show commentator. You can read all of Danielle’s EcoSalon guest articles here, and find her on Twitter @daniellelaporte.

Image: A6U571N.

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ColumnThe precious practice.

As a girl, I once read a book where the main character would frown with great purpose every time she saw a smiley face sign. I can’t recall the book, but you know the sign: those cheery yellow faces that blithely instruct you with just one word. Smile! “How do they know I’m not already smiling?” the girl character fumed. Yes, yes, yes! My eleven-year-old self shouted in her loudest inside voice. Finally, someone who gets it! In a good mood already, as a matter of fact, and you have ruined it, smiley. Where’s the humility, you piece of paper? What do you even know? Nothing.

Which brings me to yoga and yesterday.

On Sunday nights, when I can, I like to take myself to dinner, notebook in hand, for the express purpose of eavesdropping on humanity. The key is not to go anywhere so cool you’ll only overhear boring bits about things he should have texted, nor to go anywhere so sad you’ll want to die.

Last night, a woman at dinner with her three friends was in a total tizz over being dumped by her yoga partner.

“She says I’m too loud!” said the woman, loudly. “Too loud! Can you believe that?” It appeared her friends could believe it. “I explained, Claire, the entire point of yoga is to breathe! If you’re not really breathing, if you are not really sounding out the breath, it doesn’t work!” Here, she paused to shake her head in disbelief.

“But she says she won’t go. She won’t do it. She’s done with how loud I breathe.” The three friends nodded in silent unison.

“I don’t get it. I just can’t believe it,” the woman continued. “You’re supposed to chant, to breathe, with intention! She isn’t even doing it right. Most people aren’t, which is such a shame! Ommmmmmm” – sucking in a huge breath for the demonstration – “You know?”

My ears sharpened. Could it be? Was it she? The Loudest Lady in Yoga Class? Before she could notice me staring a little too long, I buried myself. Don’t mind me, just nerdy girl with notebook, probably a grad student. (Note to the novice: Bun that hair and wear a hoodie to dinner. You want free pearls, not free drinks.)

Sweet Jesus, I thought, this is the obnoxious Om-er right here, in the flesh, alive and explaining herself to the rest of us. Earthly understanding shall be ours! We have all experienced this woman, and sometimes man, in their terrifically varied but consistently exasperating varieties.

There is the Orgasmic Omer, belonging to the woman who has apparently never had her pelvis opened up the old-fashioned way, who also seems to experience the miracle of revirgination just in time for next class. If her Oms could talk, they would say, “I need to get la-la-laaaaaid more.”

There is the Male variant. He chants so smoothly. He really gets deep. He smiles at you with intention, all right. And, after class, he stares at you as if he’s just given you the greatest gift, because he’s pretty sure he has: your first orgasm. Shall we hold clammy hands over bowls of carrot ginger puree with primrose oil? We can discuss our alimentary tracts. He is wise in the ways of wheatgrass, say his Oms.

There is the Shamer Omer, the bald one who lets you all think she went through chemo even though she didn’t just because she likes the attention of it, as well as the attention that comes from hurtling her chants across the room like a bull moose in rut, and when confronted at last, accuses you of being the angry one, to which you burst out, “I was fine until you got all Om Shanti Shanti on us at 120 decibels!” and you never go back to that yoga class again. You don’t want to know what her Oms say, but they’re a true story.

There is the Quantum Omer, who ascribes spiritual glory to our shared celestial chemistry with stardust, whereas I find it scientific. Hers is a very special knowledge. Her Oms say, “I eat powdered placenta.”

There is Suzy Super Omer, who rolls up in her Range Rover, sporting her Lululemon. She has changed her email signature to Namaste. This is worse than anything that could have happened to yoga, including Portlandia. Her Oms say, “I’m the easy target. But be nice to me. I’m trying.”

My spiraling notebook taxonomy was interrupted by another protest about Claire, and I looked up to see the woman’s friends nodding once more. Two insights came to mind there in that restaurant. First, that woman needs better dinner friends.

Second, while I have loved yoga for years, I’m not sure I’m loving it the way others who love yoga seem to love it. I feel like a fraud, a phony, a huckster. After all, my inspirations are Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde and H.L. Mencken and House and Hitchens, not the Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle and goji berries. I like Dorothy Parker and contemporary art and high fashion and alcohol (the last, preferably with rich food). I like comedy and code. The History of World War II was one of my favorite courses in graduate school. I genuinely feel nothing after a superfood smoothie. My years as a vegetarian were, literally, a gas. I am unmoved in the face of granola. Anything to do with groups of women makes me feel like I have a pending case of hives instead of a pending case of empowerment.

Something is definitely wrong with me. But no matter how many times I resolve to try, I find afresh that I must stand by my principles: I just don’t feel the need to get in touch with my inner anus. I don’t want to communicate nonviolently about my two-days-late class bill, I just want to give you my new debit card number because I’m fine, I haven’t lost my job, I just got sent a new card, no I’m really fine, no I’m not being resistant or defensive, if you’ll just let me explain, I…Oh God! Please just let me give you the new number!

Does a cat care? I want to stretch like a cat. Does the cat ask his cat friend, respectfully, lovingly, compassionately, for some room on the cushion?

I breathe, even if you can’t hear it. I breathe because sometimes it makes me cry trickles of relief and sometimes it makes me grow pent up with joy. But sometimes it feels like a job, and sometimes I go through the motions and I smile, knowing I actually just need the old-fashioned way.

And sometimes instead of Ommmmmm, I just say, Oh.

This is the latest installment in your editor’s column, The Insider’s Guide to Life.

Image: Christian Parreira

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An in-depth look at the trend of American men following a modern Buddhist path to serenity – while women flock to churches. What’s going on?

“Life is bigger than you,” sang R.E.M. in Losing My Religion, a title that rings more true now than ever when it comes to men swapping organized faith for Buddhism.

Call it the new black when it comes to spirituality. The modern Buddhist path, which has long had inroads in the West, is attracting a new wave of male practitioners seeking wisdom to navigate the Prozac age – a daunting and often bleak time distinguished by affluenza, economic and environmental mayhem and the no-escape reality show Blitzkrieg. Those quiet nature retreats stilling the mind offer the alchemy for exhausted egos seeking to shrug off superficial attachments.

Online dating sites reflect the moral Zeitgeist. In their profiles, it seems one in five available men describe themselves as “spiritual but not practicing” in the religion category. Even an overwhelming number of those affiliated with Judaism and Christianity clarify that they ascribe to Buddhist philosophies and answer to a higher calling which connects them to  humanity.

Online Buddhist Leanings

One such match seeker is J. Ren who tells a common story. The 50-year-old Berkeley man looking for love on Match says he was raised Lutheran but has an affinity for Buddhism. “I enjoy riding a bike almost everywhere and enjoy pondering that all religions are similar and that Buddhism speaks to that really well.” He adds that “goodness is everywhere except on the local news.”

Another Match seeker, 39-year-old Sirius of Mountain View, California says everyone in his family is Christian but he explores Buddhism and Zen philosophy and “it would be great to find someone who is spiritually aware along with being very tolerant of all beliefs.”

Meanwhile, 36-year-old Okay I’m Already Stuck is an entrepreneur in Santa Cruz who is spiritual and has studied Buddhism for 15 years, attending teachings and meditations weekly. “I’m motivated and stay pretty busy and don’t lead a materialistic lifestyle, and prefer to focus on non-material things,” he says. “I’ve learned already that a lot of money won’t make me happy and want a lifetime student and someone who values health, fitness and whole food.”

These reinventions of self as Buddhist in midlife seem wildly attractive to men as a way to stay grounded and identify with others outside of their born faith. If you are going to identify with a faith, this one seems to offer intellectual exploration and stimulus while avoiding the need to attach to cultural distinctions or a shared heritage.

Making Buddhism Their Own

“If you take the non-self and compassion notions taught by Buddha, you get rid of separation between egos and realize we are part of one whole, which is a more accurate picture,” explains 47-year-old Scott Adelson, a Jewish Marin County writer and EcoSalon contributing editor, who has been practicing Buddhism for the past five years. As an atheist, he found that the idea of God as creator in Jewish doctrine never spoke to him, but continues to be drawn to the idea of community-based faith and enjoys that with fellow Buddhists in the Bay Area.

“You can go to hear teachers and join group sits and retreats,” he explains. “There are talks on Monday nights at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, and we spend time together in meditation. It varies from a very structured tradition – hearing the gong and everyone comes to meditate – to a less structured environment.”

But is the environment a true brand of Buddhism or a hybrid concocted by Jew-Bu’s like Adelson? Buddhist scholars argue western converts to the teachings and tenants have contributed to the “Protestantization” of modern Buddhism as they minimize the orthodox elements of monks such as ritual, mysticism and the devotional worship of Buddhist deities, focusing instead on meditation and philosophy.

As Adelson sees it, this is simply reflective of the Indian philosophy reaching the west in the last century and interpreted by a melting pot culture.

“My sense is that it is an amalgam drawn from different schools and takes on the colorations of the culture it penetrates and encounters. A lot of people are practicing in different ways, some adherent to traditional Tibetan of Thai and an increasing number of practitioners integrating it into their own broader, philosophical and religious sensibilities, so it gets altered through the lens of the practitioner. There’s a flexibility that lends itself to a modern culture that demands flexibility.”

It is also a culture that demands psychotherapy.

The ability to work on yourself without a shrink  is another reason Buddhism is attracting an increasing number of men, according to Bay Area therapist Dana Iscoff, who says women make up the bulk of the clientele regularly visiting therapists. “Men are much less comfortable seeking therapy than women and through the Buddhist teachings they are able to do the work on themselves in a very personal and non-threatening way.”

For men already grappling with intimacy issues, feeling safe being locked in a room with a therapist for fifty minutes is also a struggle, while women are accustomed to divulging personal problems whether in therapy or over a small plates dinner with a group of pals. Opening up can be vital to working through these problems, getting past anger and pain and thriving, but as Iscoff tells us, many men have been socialized to believe harping about work and marriage is a sign of weakness.

It is this touchy-feely sensibility, or the perception of it, that is also turning men off to conventional houses of worship. That’s according to congregation leaders in the United States who link the so-called “feminizing” of the church and synagogue culture to an alarming decline in male attendance. Meantime, women are flocking to organized affiliations as never before, gaining dominance just about everywhere but the priesthood.

Is Church for Sissies?

Buddhists don’t have to sport ties, link hands and eat jello molds with chatty neighbors to form a relationship between the individual and the divine. In fact, the whole social aspect of worship is seen as inherently feminine by many observers of the hold women now have on congregations in the U.S and abroad. 

Television writer and producer David Murrow signaled the need for the church to call men back to the fold in 2005 in his book, Why Men Hate Going to Church. Murrow, a Presbyterian elder in Anchorage, argued the church has become a hostile environment for manly men who are turned off to the feminized atmosphere of the typical house of worship. Murrow cites alarming statistics showing women comprise more than 60%  of the adults in the typical worship in America.

Other quick facts cited by Murrow’s Manly Mission:

* On any given Sunday, there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches. This Sunday, almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands.

* Over 70 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many will never return.

*Churches overseas report gender gaps of 9 women for every adult man in attendance.

*Christian universities are becoming convents, the typical college in the U.S. enrolling almost 2 women for every 1 man.

“From the decor to the rituals, the ministry opportunities to the language, churches are designed to appeal to their greatest constituency – women,” observes Murrow. He adds that while the leadership is often male, women constitute the backbone of most churches and even more of the volunteer force.

Murrow started the website Church for Men to call attention to the trend as a harbinger for a gender gap in organized Christianity, blaming it on the trappings of contemporary culture. He says what drives men away are the very aspects which lure women to what he terms “spiritual sorority houses.”

What makes it girly? “Church is sweet and sentimental, nurturing and nice,” he insists. “Women thrive in this environment and men do not. Everything from the compulsion to participate in singing to the pastel tones, frilly accouterments, the modern sanctuary spells trouble for keeping men in the fold.”

Synagogues Also Missing Patriarchs

The notion of feminine frills driving men out is echoed by Stephen S. Pearce, D.D., Ph.D., the senior rabbi at Congregation Emanu El in San Francisco, who argues men have been displaced by the feminization of liberal churches and synagogues as opposed to more male-dominated congregations.

“I think we need to focus on making the religious experience more meaningful for men,” says Pearce. “Our society is not nurturing men the way they ought to, beginning with boys who experience education that is more geared towards girls. If I were running a school, the boys would have recess every hour in a half and get their energy out. Now, boys have to sit in a chair and not wriggle even though they have a lot of energy at an early age and when forced to conform, they don’t succeed. It goes against their natural instinct. I’m not against women, I think they’re terrific, but not to the exclusion of men.”

Pearce has started a men’s group at his temple for members ages 20 to 70. They meet monthly to study Torah and bond socially and also attend weekend retreats which advocate a stillness of the mind to better allow a connection with the human experience – the suffering, the euphoria, the attachments and the constantly changing world around us. Did the rabbi take his cue from Buddhism?

“I once gave a sermon comparing Buddhism and Judaism and I got ripped apart because I said that the end goal in Buddhism is extinguishment- never to come back again – and in Judaism it is to perfect the world,” remembers Pearce.  “We are diametrically opposed theologically, but most people don’t give a damn about theology. They care more about ritual and what makes them feel good.”

Countering the Feminization Argument

Seeking what makes men feel good has less to do with being turned off to feminine surroundings and more to do with a generational focus on self, according to Rev. Dan Christian of St. Luke Presbyterian Church in San Rafael, California, who boasts a thriving and progressive congregation including male filmmakers and heavy metal band leaders. He says people born in 1960 and after have had little religious exposure and focusing on the self is endorsed by society.

“Churches are by and large primarily run by women so the emphasis is on feminine issues and ideas, but this isn’t going to push men away from the Christian faith, ” figures the pastor. “Any tendency towards Buddhism comes more from the connection to the self which is a generational philosophy embraced today. Buddhism is a place you can go where the whole emphasis is on you.”

This makes Buddhist teachings a no-brainer for atheists. Christian points out that unlike Judaism, Islam and Christianity, Buddhism makes no claim on a higher power. “If you are in conflict with that or an atheist by default, the issue won’t be challenged in the Buddhist setting,” he says.

But is that the best place to be? When we are serving ourselves rather than a higher power or a community, are we more in harmony with the planet or moving further towards isolation, the same phenomenon of spending countless hours with the computer for social interaction?

“In my opinion, it works to the detriment when there is such emphasis on the self,” Christian says. “Any migration to Buddhism is a reflection of that. The emphasis is not on your connection to the greater community and an expression of your faith to your neighbor but solely on you and your own satisfaction.”

Even if that’s true, it seems to have followers succumbing less to corporate brainwashing which has taught men they can elevate their spirits through distractions like expensive toys, legal drugs and flawlessly beautiful soul mates. Depressed? Take a pill. Bad relationships? Buy a high performance car. Research now shows meditation cures depression better than many pharmaceuticals. And while accumulation and big spending once defined success for men, simplicity and restraint are now associated with sustainability.

Buddhists, like Adelson, are thinkers who are after much more of what life has to offer.

“What I’m after on some level is clarity, self-awareness and a certain level of serenity, a better sense of what is going on around me and a more accurate view of my life experience and my relationships, how I travel through this world, and certainly, a level of peace,” explains Adelson. “At the end of the day, that’s what we’re all after, right?”

Images:  Spirit Rock Meditation Center; Church of Men; Bobistraveling; Akuppa; Hutchike; Luanne Bradley; Martin Roell; Dospaz

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