Okay, first things first. The planet doesn’t really need saving. It’s us…and the fellow earthlings our destructive habits impact, that need to be “saved.” But in all our efforts to do that, have we lost sight of just how important kindness is?

It’s hard not to be passionate. It’s part of being human. For some of us, that means fighting for democracy, the environment, animals, food sovereignty, or women’s issues. For others, that means fighting for profit, control, power. These desired outcomes are about as opposite as it can get. We find ourselves taking sides. Choosing to see others who don’t share our worldview as the enemy—wrong, misinformed, or worse, “unevolved.” But isn’t the truth that we’re all right? That those seemingly impossible and selfish worldviews are just as evolved as ours, even if they are the complete opposite?

Author and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle notes that whatever we fight, we strengthen. What we resist, persists. But how can we not fight against injustice? What does sitting idly by do for the soul? What would I really say to someone like Donald Trump if we were trapped in an elevator together (you know, after I kicked the shit out of him)? We’re all lovers and fighters; it’s not an either/or situation.

The more we look for them, the easier it is to see the battles all around us waiting to be fought. The digital age has us constantly negotiating causes, calls to action, and tragedies that fuel us with contempt while we’re scrolling through Facebook just trying to kill time. And even though there’s only a “like” option, most of us “dislike” much of what we’re seeing.

It’s a world out of balance.

To one extreme, we can try to avoid conflict. We can barricade ourselves with manufactured bliss, and do our best to dodge adversity. But that’s not always rational or doable. Conflict exists. But we don’t have to charge toward it, either.

What if we could accomplish more by simply surrendering to what it is we’re drawn to and still “fighting” for those causes, but while also doing it with kindness? After all, isn’t it our less-than-kind behaviors that have led us into wars, despots, dishonesty, and greed that got us into this planetary mess in the first place? It feels like something needs to change in how we negotiate adversity.

Still, no matter what the issues, or how we got here, Tolle says, “Always say “yes” to the present moment. “What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is?” That doesn’t mean we can’t change (or even “save”) the world, but there’s something in recognizing that in the big picture, it kind of doesn’t really matter. Unless what’s on the other side of life is that big old Judgement Day in the sky.

And what’s more, we can achieve more peace through kindness. Being unkind turns any issue into more than just the issue. Someone hits your car, for example. That’s a problem you’ll need to deal with. But if you come at the other driver screaming and shaking fists, you now have yet another issue to deal with spurred by your lack of kindness. They’re likely to respond with defensiveness or withdraw. We know that accidents happen. Sometimes that’s because someone is being totally negligent and completely at fault. They surely need to be held accountable, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be kind in that process.

Eleanor Roosevelt noted that what other people think of you is really none of your business. We’re all going to think what we want, whether it’s accurate or not. But being kind isn’t about doing it for the other person. It may not even be perceived as intended anyway. Being kind is our gift to ourselves. It allows us the opportunity to avoid conflict. It’s a surrender that seems vital in this modern world where there’s so much work to be done.

As Tolle says, “Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”

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You are special. I am special. We all are special creatures. So why is it that some of us think we’re better than others?

I’m a Mom now and I understand the temptation of applauding every single thing my daughter does. Whether it’s eating all of her food or the other end of that equation, it’s hard not to praise her for things that aren’t really praise-worthy in the big picture. Her grandparents, aunties, and uncle think she’s the most adorable person, too. Her slightly older cousins fawn over her on FaceTime chats, trying to impress her with somersaults and ballet moves. My daughter means the world to us in every possible way. But I cringe at the thought of letting her know just how special she is.

According to a report on CBS News, we all believe we’re above average, more worthy of praise and attention than we may actually deserve, “people think they are better than most people in many arenas, from charitable behavior to work performance.” Whether it’s overestimating our intelligence or our driving ability, we tend to think of ourselves as superior to our peers, family and partners and the strangers who cut us off or slow us down in traffic.

Chris Rock illustrated this behavior well when he talked about his wife’s troubles at work (treating the gift-wrapping department at JC Penny like “Dynasty”). The perception that people are “out to destroy us” puts us in a compromising position. And the truth is, people usually aren’t trying to destroy you; they’re not even thinking about you all that much, really, because most of the time they’re thinking about themselves and just how special they think they are. You needn’t look any further than our selfie-obsession to understand this.

Part of this is valid primal protection. If we don’t value ourselves, we’re not going to be adept at survival. And for children, it’s necessary to know they’re the center of their parents’ worlds for a time—it helps them feel protected and secure to do all those growing up things that are scary. But too much praise can be damaging and create a delusional worldview. And as we age, many of us fail to lose this burdensome sense of entitlement, which can spiral into full-blown narcissism or other mental health issues that can fill our lives with unnecessary drama and stress.

The self-obsessed seek constant validation, or create situations that may make them appear victim to others’ attempts at dethroning them from their special seat. The new age/self-help spiritual communities are filled with people seeking confirmation that they’re special and unique and deserving of constant praise rather than doing the real spiritual work, which comes from selflessness and helping others who truly need it. “Only when we learn to manage this balance between our own needs and those of others can we have genuinely satisfying, intimate relationships with other people,” says F. Diane Barth, LCSW in Psychology Today.

But it’s also rampant in Trump’s America (particularly from Trump himself). We’re insulated in our bubbles that not only validate our world views, but tell us that simply by having these belief systems is an indication of our special-ness. Picking sides these days has become a reward-system all its own, pushing us to push agendas not only for what we believe to be the betterment of the planet, but for the comfort of self-applause as well.

In his 2014 book, “Revolution,” Russell Brand petitions us to change the current system. He has notoriously opted out of voting and thinks we can change the current power structures by other means, none more important than a wakeup and self-realization to the oneness that connects us all. “Now, let me remind you: This is your planet, you can change it if you want to,” he writes, “You can change it by doing loads of drugs, by having it off with women, or by going on a murderous rampage with a licensed weapon. Doesn’t it make more sense, though, to change it by binding with your fellow man and working to create a society that’s fair and just? Of course it does.”

As woo-woo as it sounds, Brand has a prescient point that may be vital to our willful evolution: when we see ourselves as connected to everyone (and everything) else on the planet, our sense of self importance fades into a sense of self purpose. And the distinction is critical: We don’t have to lose our identities or passions to make the world a better place, but losing the feeling like we matter more than others is indeed a game-changer that just might make the future a better place where we’re all fed and clothed and able explore our uniqueness without the sense of failure if it’s not our naked ass on a magazine cover.

So, we’ve started to tell our daughter: you are special to us. And I’m ready to remind her when the time is right, that it’s what she does with her specialness that’s more meaningful than what she expects from it.

Find Jill on Twitter and Instagram

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Scientists have named a newly discovered Amazon treefrog species after the late filmmaker Stanley Kubrick’s 1971 classic film, “A Clockwork Orange.”

The award-winning film was based on the 1962 Anthony Burgess novel of the same title. Kubrick’s dystopian film follows the story of a young Beethoven-loving criminal named Alex (Malcolm McDowell) as he’s placed in an experimental criminal reform program.

The researchers say they chose the unusual name for the frog (D kubricki in Latin) because when Burgess explained the origin of the book title,  he said: “I’ve implied the junction of the organic, the lively, the sweet – in other words, life, the orange – and the mechanical, the cold, the disciplined.”

“Without knowing, he was also giving a good metaphor to describe ecosystems,” the researchers said.

“Nature works as the interplay between life and its cold, mechanical, and disciplined physical matrix.”  

The frog also looks the part bearing bright orange patches on its arms and legs.

A Clockwork Orange was discovered in the Amazon Basin along with another treefrog species whose name translates to “devil” (D kamagarini). The treefrogs had both been previously misidentified as members of another species. The research is published in a recent issue of the journal ZooKeys.

Frogs are critically important indicator species and play critical roles in the food chains of their ecosystems. 

The discovery further validates the need for habitat preservation and continued research efforts into the functioning of earth’s ecosystems.

Stanley Kubrick, considered one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, made more than a dozen films including “The Shining”, “Dr. Strangelove”, “2001”, “Barry Lyndon”, “Full Metal Jacket”, and “Eyes Wide Shut.” He died in 1999.

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Vegans in the UK have a lot to celebrate as the popular Co-op market is bringing a huge focus to vegan wine. 

That’s right — a lot of wine isn’t vegan because of the use of filtering and fining agents that can come from eggs, gelatin, milk, or a substance called isinglass, which comes from fish bladders. They’re used to remove unwanted bacteria and yeast, and some are used to improve flavor and clarity. But they’re used not because they’re most efficient, but because they’re most common — historied practices that haven’t been updated.

According to the Guardian, the Co-op has been working with “winemakers across the world to develop a wider range of vegan-friendly ‘fining’ agents used to filter wines.”

For vegans, determining if a wine has been filtered with animal products is a near-impossible task. A few websites exist that catalog vegan wines, but producers aren’t required to disclose the ingredients used in the fining process, and most winemakers don’t.

The Co-op says it will have eight vegan wines next month, and expects 100 by the end of the year.

“Now a new generation of animal-free agents made from peas and even potatoes are finding popularity, and favoured by the Co-op along with other vegan-friendly options including carbon and clay-based agents,” notes the Guardian.

While pints won’t likely ever go out of style, it seems the Brits are beginning to develop a taste for grapes, too. “We are anticipating vegan wines to pick up momentum throughout 2018,” Simon Cairns, category trading manager for Co-op wines, said, “so our range will be expanding throughout the year and we will continue to challenge suppliers to make wines vegan where they can without affecting the attributes of the liquid.”

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Our intentions play a huge role in everything we do. But is “love” — yes, actual love — really a food ingredient? How does it taste?

If you’re a label reader, you’ve likely seen “love” added to more than a few of your favorite products: Fizzy kombuchas, creamy chocolates, cereal and snack brands often add this intangible element to their products. But it’s gratuitous and useless, says Jen Doll in The Atlantic, “Love is not an actual ingredient; it cannot go in one’s brownies, one’s spaghetti, one’s ‘faux’ gras. Nor is respect, enthusiasm, whimsy, irritation, lust, crankiness, or ‘a bad mood’ something that makes food taste any different.”

Even the FDA has said love doesn’t count as a food ingredient, and claiming it’s in a recipe is cause for warning letters and even fines.

But should we intentionally try not to add love to our foods? Be impartial chefs when making soup for sick family members or cookies for Santa?

In Aimee Bender’s 2010 novel, “The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake,” the story’s protagonist can taste much more than the physical ingredients she bites into. Sadness, frustration, concern, guilt, anger, love—if the person who made the food was feeling any strong emotion, Rose Edelstein can taste it. She becomes overwhelmed by this sensitivity to such a paralyzing point that she opts instead for ersatz factory-made food, void of human interaction. It’s a novel, of course, but it illustrates the potential our growing sensitivities hold. Isn’t the saying “you are what you eat” for good reason? And one could also argue that our lack of food “made with love” since the advent of industry and packaged foods corresponds with our rise in diseases, depression, and loneliness.

The fact is, we know relatively little when it comes to those invisible, intangible energies that pass between humans, especially along our food chain. Beyond the chemical reactions triggered by pheromones that make us want to lunge into the laps of virtual strangers, we can also “sense” other things, like when someone’s in a bad mood or even lying. And as we continue down the evolutionary road, we’ll likely be able to sense quite a bit more as well–that is, unless our diet continues to be void of healthful and human-made food that connects us to the earth and each other, in more ways than one.

If more people are beginning to become aware of the reasons why we should move away from diets that not only harm our bodies, but also harm the environment and other animals, then why can’t we also appreciate the addition of “love” to a product even if we don’t think we can actually taste it? Isn’t that changing our relationship with food, even if we’re not quite sure how yet? Perhaps the one really important ingredient missing for many of us is not so much love, but a little bit more imagination.

Find Jill on Twitter and Instagram

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In yet another sign that consumers seeking ethical and sustainable fashion choices are indeed influencing brands to become more thoughtful and transparent about their products, fashion powerhouse Michael Kors announced this week it’s removing fur from both the popular Michael Kors and Jimmy Choo labels. The decision came after a recent meeting with PETA spurred by dozens of protests led by the animal rights group.

The brands will fully phase out fur by December 2018, and has plans to achieve its signature look and feel with “luxe” alternatives that don’t involve the horrors of the fur industry.

“This decision marks a new chapter as our company continues to evolve its use of innovative materials,” Michael Kors chief officer John Idol said in a statement. “We now have the ability to create a luxe aesthetic using nonanimal fur.”

The company was recently targeted by PETA over its continued use of fur in a segment of its line, with demonstrators showing up to dozens of the designer’s show. In June, demonstrators thwarted a live interview with Michael Kors at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art with the chant “Michael Kors has blood on his hands.”

“With the advances in faux fur and the introduction of other innovative materials, it’s becoming clear that there is simply no reason to continue using a product that causes so much pain and suffering,” The Humane Society of the U.S. president and CEO Wayne Pacelle said in a statement after the Kors announcement.

Kors’ announcement comes just several months after Gucci made a similar commitment.

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In a major move signaling the power of millennial shoppers and their quest for clean, environmentally-friendly ingredients, cosmetic giant L’Oreal has announced a shift to plant-based ingredients in its popular hair dyes, replacing synthetic and often toxic chemical ingredients that the brand has built its business on.

“The organic cosmetics boom has been driven by rising numbers of younger consumers rejecting chemical-based products in favor of plant-based ones,” reports Reuters, noting that the organic beauty market is estimated at $11 billion globally, and likely to double by 2024.

“There’s very strong demand from women to move towards healthier formulas,” said Marion Brunet, manager of L’Oreal Professional, noting it’s no longer the fringe natural or diehard “green” consumer seeking out healthier alternative, but mainstream consumers attracted to the simplicity of natural ingredients and the health benefits.

L’Oreal’s new vegan range, called Botanea, comes from three plants native to India including indigo, cassia, and henna, the latter of which has long been used to tint hair in India and favorited by natural consumers wanting a truly synthetic-chemical-free hair coloring alternative. But henna is a messier process than conventional hair dyes; it’s a thick and messy paste and can also make hair look brassy. But L’Oreal’s new products are a slight upgrade to the traditional henna; and they’re only salon-only right now because professional color mixing is needed. But the company hopes to be able to launch a shelf-ready version for the at-home consumer soon.

The mega beauty empire, which owns Urban Decay, Lancome, NYX, Maybelline, and Kiehl’s, has seen its smaller brands (like Urban Decay and NYX) expand while traditional and professional salon products have slowed in 2017 as small-batch skin and hair care companies continue to expand reach and return customers with natural products safer both for bodies and the planet.

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And you thought we’d never ask.

We know that sex, at its most basic function, perpetuates us—or at least, creatures that sort of look like us. Aside from peopling, we enjoy sex for other reasons, none more popular of course than the fact that it feels, really, really good. Whether alone, with a loved one, or with several people, a healthy sexual encounter makes us feel instantly better—even somewhat renewed and more confident. It’s a soul reset button. And the big question some are asking: can it also save the human race?

There have been many credible scientific studies done on sex and its effects on the human brain and body. We know it can improve immune function, improve sleep, help keep weight off, boost mood, make us happier and nicer. It can even make us look younger, too. During the intensity of orgasm, we experience complete opulence, freedom from pain, and a temporary loss of awareness of our ego. These are important things, not just for our own personal health and relationships, but they also effect how we interact with the world around us.

Bonobos, those lesser-known chimpanzee-looking distant cousins of ours are renowned for their use of sex to reduce tension and conflict. They explore homosexuality with reckless abandon. Vanessa Woods, author of “Bonobo Handshake” says the animals “hold the key to a world without war.”

While humans are more frequently compared to the more violent chimpanzee, Woods says we also share nearly 99 percent of the same DNA with bonobos. “Their physiology, biochemistry, and psychology is set up to avoid violence. The fact that sex is their mechanism to reduce tension is irrelevant. We need to study the hell out of bonobos and use our big fat brains to find our own mechanism so we can live peacefully,” says Woods.

So, why don’t we?

In our fast-moving modern world, many seekers are eschewing the “old” paradigm of relationships: one man, one woman, until death. They’re exploring multiple partners, regardless of gender or sexual preference. Author and philosopher Daniel Pinchbeck writes, “Doesn’t it seem, sometimes, that we have not yet explored even a fraction of our erotic potential? It still feels that life as we live it today continues under tremendous constraint and suppression of instinct.” And he’s not alone. The polyamorous movement is growing. (Don’t confuse polyamory with polygamy. It’s not, like the television show “Big Love” portrays, one man with several wives. That’s still patriarchal–where the man may be free to have multiple partners, but women are more or less, subservient. )

Polyamory, also known as “open relationships,” allows for open sexual exploration, without jealousy and possessiveness. In theory, anyway. How that differs from, say, your college partying years is that adult polyamorous relationships are a bit more transparent, and may overlap. And regardless of whether or not having multiple partners seems to be too cumbersome, it’s what’s beyond that layer of judgement that’s getting the most attention. Pinchbeck asks: “What if loving someone meant you trusted them completely and wanted them to have any non-harmful experience they truly desired, without any judgment at all? Is there a way to explore this authentically and vulnerably, without setting off society’s alarm bells so immediately, without setting one’s self up for personal attacks?”

Pinchbeck cites visits to Portugal’s Tamera community and books written by the founders that focus on the importance of the tribe rather than the isolated family, “a sharing-based and non-possessive model of love and sexuality is possible within a community that is exploring this as a spiritual practice and with a deeper intention to create peace on earth.”

We live in a country where homosexuality is still seen as a defect (or worse, a “sin”) by millions. That gay marriage is an issue speaks to an even bigger issue with regard to our fears and judgments about sex. And heaven forbid someone brings up transgender…Like Pinchbeck says, what if we loved and trusted each other enough to allow each other to have whatever non-harmful erotic experiences we desired?

If our sexual suppression and misguided exploitations (I’m talking to you, beer commercials and Republicans who think women can “auto-abort”) were to be replaced by healthy encouragement and support, what kind of world would we be living in? This is not an invitation to lewd and outlandish orgies where disrespect and force play dominant roles. But it can involve multiple partners and homosexual encounters. Healthy sexual encouragement can also happen in monogamous relationships, too (my personal preference). Regular intimacy between two people can be deeply satisfying. But as a culture, there’s clearly a disconnect from our  sexuality, and an opportunity for us to heal through shared intimacy. Which may be why Pinchbeck and others are so curious about exploring open relationships. It’s panacea to the depraved and deeply unsatisfying sexual culture we’ve cultivated both in private and in public.

We’re at our most vulnerable and empowered during sex—naked, letting go, giving in to pure feeling and connection. It’s scary and thrilling, and the deeper we go without judging, the better it feels. And perhaps, the faster we can heal our wounds around sexuality. Says Pinchbeck, “this can only be done on an authentic and transparent basis where our desires are not repressed or hidden… they can be mastered, rather than controlled.” Perhaps it’s clarified best by someone who doesn’t even have sex, Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, who said: “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

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“These wines were created to give back,” the sommelier tells our table. She’s talking about ONEHOPE, a California winery with charitable and environmental components built into the business model. It funds hunger relief efforts, tree plantings, aiding in natural disaster relief, and scores of other programs. The Terranea Resort, where I’m part of a two-day press tour to experience its farm-to-table and sustainability initiatives, is a partner with ONEHOPE, just one of its many efforts to up its eco image.

“I’ll have the veal,” says the girl sitting next to me.

I do a double-take. When the waiter asked our table if anyone has any dietary restrictions, I discover I’m the only vegan at our table of seven. The woman on my other side condescendingly taps my arm and says, “good for you,” like something you’d overhear being said to someone who’s just returned from the Peace Corps or ran a marathon after beating cancer. I’m not used to being congratulated for my dietary choice — especially by a person who will soon be chewing on octopus tentacles.

The chef is shaving white truffles onto our dishes with such vigor it feels like it’s keeping us all alive. I think it is for the woman across from me who keeps raving about the white truffles she ate in Italy. My own dinner is an off-menu bowl of “market” vegetables. I eat a few of the brussels sprouts but leave the unexpected pile of cocktail onions and melon-balled turnips for the compost pile while my dinner mates ooh and aah over their carcass-stacked plates.

I can’t help but wonder why there’s no vegan option that’s not a salad or a side — or better yet, a separate vegan menu — at a place like this. Surely Terranea’s clientele includes affluent and educated consumers who stock their fridges with nondairy milk, tofu, and veggie sausage, even if they do still eat animal products, too. Instead of being wowed by creations like I know exist at a steakhouse just 30 minutes north in Santa Monica, I  feel like I’m at a steakhouse in the midwest thirty years ago. The tablemates seem satisfied, though; not just at the arguably unsustainable foods they’ve eaten (veal contribute not only their own methane to the atmosphere but as a byproduct of the dairy industry, even more methane from their mothers), but at everything the resort representatives are telling us about how perfect the place seems to be. I’m a little annoyed with myself that I don’t feel like such a willing accomplice to such blissful ignorance.

It’s not that I find resort life offensive. Quite the opposite. Before becoming a mother, frequent jaunts to resorts were part of my DNA. I’m getting a little misty-eyed now just thinking about how infrequent those visits have become these days with weekends filled up instead with birthday parties for preschoolers rather than last-minute trips to hot springs, my favorite. No, I’m having a hard time because I’m failing to maneuver decadence and sustainability into the same field of existence in my head — something Terranea seems to have no problem with. My brain can only see them like clear plastic sheets with partial drawings laid on top of each other to make it appear like one picture. But they’re not actually part of the same page at all. The waiter scrapes away my meager pile of onion crumbs.

The Terranea Resort is located in beautiful Rancho Palos Verdes, the literal southern tip of Los Angeles County, a peninsula. It was the last approved coastal resort in the state — there won’t be any more built in a long, long time, per current coastal preservation regulations that now prevent such construction. It sits on 100 acres, with a clear and fairly stunning view of Catalina Island. The resort, which employs more than 1,500 people, is a lush seaside escape overgrowing with coral trees, bougainvillea, agave, rosemary, and all kinds of native plants. It’s a destination for weddings, business retreats, and celeb getaways (I swear I saw Adam Scott entering the restaurant as we were leaving on the second night).

Not quite a mile down the road from the resort is the Catalina View Gardens where Terranea leases a few plots to grow lettuces, cucumbers, tomatoes, kale, beets, onions, and herbs. It harvests meyer lemons from the fruit trees on the 95-acre garden property. The staff also harvest avocado, olives, and honey — which comes from the one-hundred-thousand bees that pollinate there. It has also recently acquired six chickens (the story is a resort guest gifted them to the head chef when she could no longer keep them). The hens produce about an egg each a day, and the plan is to expand the hen house and add more room and more birds. The eggs go into select dishes as does the daily produce haul.

The view from the top of the garden is stunning. It’s quiet, save for the squawks from the red tail hawks circling above the chicken coop. It’s peaceful in that way 95 acres of old growth olive trees, rows and rows of wine grapes, avocado trees, and sweeping ocean views make you feel. It’s a retreat in its own right, confusing me even further.

All of this is a big selling point for the resort. There are packages that allow visitors to tag along with executive chef Bernard Ibarra as he visits the gardens and harvests ingredients. But the majority of the resort’s ingredients, like most food service entities, come from distributors. And being a California-based resort means most fruits and vegetables are considered “local” by default — we grow an immense amount of fresh produce here: 99 percent of artichokes, 97 percent of kiwis, 97 percent of plums, 95 percent of celery, 95 percent of garlic, 89 percent of cauliflower, 71 percent of spinach, and 69 percent of carrots for the entire United States are grown in-state. In other words, it doesn’t take much to slap a “local” label onto your menu.

After the garden tour, we head to lunch where we’re met with the resort’s sustainability leader, Lauren Bergloff. She’s bubbly and passionate about her job. With a conservation background, she actually started at Terranea as a hostess, moving on to give the daily nature tours of the property, and then evolving that into her current role. She was just at a conference in New York with other hotel and resort staff all working to solve the sustainability issues of running such intensive operations.

She expounds on the resort’s efforts to minimize its food waste. In just the first two weeks in November it donated 500 pounds of food. At that rate, it’ll be giving away close to 12,000 pounds a year — and that’s only edible, properly stored food. She couldn’t produce the number of how much will actually be tossed out. Still, the resort is aware of the problem, turning some food waste into grey water, which is being sent right down into the sewer line. It’s trying to be creative in other ways, like with fruit peels, for example, turning them into fruit-infused drinking water.

At one point, the conversation turns toward President Trump’s reversal of the ban on elephant trophies (he’s since reversed his reverse putting the ban back into place). “I love elephants!” says Bergloff. “They’re my favorite animal.” She eats more of her tuna poke bowl. I dig into the Mediterranean falafel bowl — the only vegan-friendly menu item that isn’t a garden salad. And as I stare out at the Pacific Ocean — the restaurant has a fabulous view — I can’t help but feel like the (other) endangered fish at the table. Or, more accurately, the endangered fish out of water.

Dinner would sadly be more of the same — my tablemates discuss the texture nuances of beef tongue and duck meat. I try to stomach my edamame by gazing out at a tiki torch off in the distance like I’m on a boat trying to steady my queasiness by staring at the horizon.

After dinner, we wind down the halls to meet Pierino “Perry” Jermonti, the resort’s executive pastry chef who’s arranged a special tasting for us in the kitchen. I’m shocked to see three of the four desserts are vegan. After two days of barely a fully vegan dish on the menu without modification, this feels like the 21st century. I breathe a sigh of relief. As he talks about his process, Jermonti lights up with excitement about the need to cater to this demographic. And I find this most unusual as baking is much more a fine science than cooking is; it’s easier to improvise a bowl of noodles and veggies than to take chances with baking soda and cornstarch in place of eggs, for example. But not only does Jermonti understand the need for vegan sweets, his creativity in producing them is commendable. A cranberry chocolate cheesecake, a sweet potato mousse. He seems to be the only chef here who’s embraced plant-based food as a challenge rather than a chore. This sweet ending takes a bit of the bitter edge off.

Running a 100+ room resort is inherently the opposite of sustainable. You’ve got lights on 24 hours a day. There’s the laundry, the dishes, the elevators, the pool heaters, the constant cleaning and cooking and maintenance. Does that mean we should never vacation? Of course not.

But is picking lettuce from across the road really making a difference in all of it? And more than that, why are plant-forward menu items so absent from this place claiming to be so 21st century sustainable? The world’s leading climate scientists all agree that animal agriculture is the biggest cause of methane — a far more damaging greenhouse gas than CO2. There’s no way around it, no matter how “buttery” the filet mignon is. Despite poke being one of the hottest trends in seafood right now, it’s also sourced from one of the least sustainable fish populations on the planet (yellowfin tuna), even if suppliers insist that it’s not. Considering too there’s so much fish fraud in the world, the risks just seem to consistently outweigh those few moments of pleasure one presumably gets from scarfing down a bowl of marinated fish bits.

I know people eat animal products. More than ninety percent of the U.S. population is not vegan. But do they have to eat animals at every meal? Diet preferences are changing. Flexitarianism, not veganism, is driving the growth of plant-based foods. And I can’t help but wonder if a resort — a vacation from our ordinary lives — should also be a vacation from our presumably normally unsustainable diet habits (my meager bowl of cocktail onions the exception).

We can’t have our steak and eat it, too. Or can we? Because it really seems like we do, somehow, keep stuffing these offenders into our faces all while insisting “someone” should be doing “something” to reverse this dire climate crisis that could wipe out a resort like Terranea. And that hypocrisy, I think, is our great undoing. Even if we’re offsetting a bit of carbon by reducing food waste or funding someone’s effort to plant a tree in Uganda with every sip of sparkling wine as we watch the sun set over the Pacific.

My mind reels. I think of my daughter. What world are we leaving our children if we eat all the tuna and octopuses and steal baby cows from their mothers and call that sustainable?  A study published just last Monday imagined what the U.S. would look like if we stopped eating animal products. Not surprisingly, we’d increase our food productions 23 percent and decrease GHG emissions nearly 30 percent.

What’s most frustrating though is this resort’s lack of understanding that vegan food is delicious food. It’s often decadent, too. And it’s most certainly the most sustainable option worthy of more than a token “falafel bowl” or curry on a menu filled with dozens of meat-based entrees.

While my media mates guzzled down animal after animal with seemingly no regard — either for the animals themselves (and the consequences) or the awkward (at this point, stereotypically angry) vegan at the table — the conversations occasionally turns to animal sentience, and not at my suggestion, either. This keeps happening perhaps as a plea to placate me or to justify their own quandary about who they’ve just eaten. Someone asks the table if they saw a video of an octopus escaping through a hole. They have. Another mentions a video where after being released into the wild, an octopus appears to thank the human releasing it by wrapping a tentacle gently around his hand. I awkwardly bring up Sy Montgomery’s book “The Soul of an Octopus.” It’s a book I have a lot of issues with, too; the author comes of as self-important and entitled. Like my dinner mates, she can marvel at the intelligence of one creature while eating another. But the book succeeds in delivering powerful anecdotes about these mysterious mollusks who use tools, make friendships, and show emotion. The table shuffles around plates of short ribs and quail eggs. I dip grilled shishito peppers into hot sauce and do my best not to run off and hug a squirrel.

Still. I get it. A place like Terranea with its undeniable immersion in nature can change someone’s perspective. Take a whale watching tour or hike up to a tide pool and that can alter you for life. Vacations do that. It’s why we take them. But can sustainability truly exist in a place like this? I’m not sure I can answer that. But I do know one thing: A few farm-to-table ingredients and efforts to reduce food waste are not enough if we’re not looking at what else, or in this case, who else, is actually on our plates in the first place.

Find Jill on Twitter and Instagram

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Surely meat eaters have their reasons for choosing to eat animals—most humans do it—but how often do meat-eaters consider the number of animals they’re expected to eat in a lifetime? It’s a startling number: 7,000.

According to the Vegetarian Calculator, an online tool that breaks down your burgers into some visceral stats, those 7,000 animals roughly calculate to 11 cows, 27 pigs, 2,400 chickens, 80 turkeys, 30 sheep, and 4,500 fish—per person. The tool bases meat consumption on USDA data from 2008, which found the average American ate approximately three hamburgers a week.

When we talk about eating animals, we most often refer to them by their ready-to-be-eaten names: filets, steaks, chops, cutlets, nuggets, burgers. While meat eaters defend their actions for any number of reasons—from taste to (perceived) protein—only a small few of them have actually taken to killing and dismembering their dinner.

That act of hunting, killing, and processing an animal before eating it, though, which is still practiced in some tribal communities around the world, connects eater to eaten in important ways we’ve lost in modern culture. There’s respect, for one. The entire animal is used and honored. And a wild-caught animal isn’t forced to live a horrific life surrounded by cement and steel and the echoes of her suffering neighbors. But most cultures, with the exception of tribes like the Inuit, supplement their predominantly plant-based diet with meat, rather than make it the center of their diet. They eat meat when plant sources run dry. They smoke, dry, and cure it for long journeys. They don’t microwave Hot Pockets or round up spare change to buy a .99 cheeseburger.

Eating meat and any animal products for that matter (eggs, dairy, gelatin, etc.), is also a big Debbie Downer for the planet. We apply the same irreverence to the consequences of what we’re eating as to who we’re eating in the first place.  The Vegetarian Calculator tallies up your CO2 as well as the number of animals eaten, and that corresponds to a number of studies that have found raising livestock to be severely problematic in reducing carbon emissions. The impact of climate change directly affects humans — even taking the lives of people like those ravaged by recent hurricanes. The world’s climate crises can be directly linked to livestock production. It’s also predicted to lead to food shortages, nutrient-deficient crops, and the spread of numerous diseases, all which will likely take the lives of countless individuals.

Eating animals an inefficient way of eating when you measure calories in (raising the animal) versus calories out (the steak on your plate), regardless of our feelings about the inherent rights to the animal being eaten; it’s reckless for our friends, family, and future generations.

But that’s the way the vast majority of humans today consume all of their food, especially meat. We merely drop meat into shopping carts or cue up in burger joint lines oblivious or willfully ignorant of where that burger came from, and what consequences it has for others. If that’s not murder, then what exactly does meat-eating amount to?

Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way. Strides in technology from meaty plant-based foods to food tech “growing” meat without the animal attached to it, are poised to solve a lot of problems. From providing healthier and cleaner protein sources that are better for the planet to that gnawing ethical dilemma. Does eating meat make you a murderer? With these advances, it looks like it doesn’t have to.

Find Jill on Twitter and Instagram

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