Living intentionally means constantly taking steps to live your dream life. It’s about setting your life up in a way that fits your preferences instead of just going through the motions and then waking up one morning and wondering how you got where you are. Life can be unpredictable but by answering these questions you can strive for your dream life.

1. Where do you want to live?

You don’t have to answer this question with a specific place. This is about understanding your preferences. Do you like warmer weather? The downside to warmer weather is that in the summer it can get extra hot. Do you require all four seasons or is the tropical life for you? What kind of a cost of living can you afford? If you live in an expensive place you have to work harder to support your lifestyle. Do you prefer large cities? What about living abroad? If so, do you speak another language? While it seems like a simple question, there should be a lot of thought tied up in your answer.

2. How big of a family do you want?

The larger the family, the more you have to work to support them and the harder it is to travel. Smaller families lead to more mobility but at the same time, they’re not quite as exciting. If you want to continue working full time, the size of your family is also important. Larger families mean built-in companionship but at the same time, they can take a toll on relationships.

3. How important is travel?

Maybe living in one place isn’t even on your radar. Instead, you’d prefer longterm travel. If you love to travel then you have to set aside constant money to fulfill your dreams not to mention that you need a companion who also loves to travel. If you’re traveling constantly you may prefer a job that allows you to work remotely.

4. Are you independent?

Some people are more independent than others. To be completely honest, I need to be around people rather constantly. And since I work independently, I have to set up my life so that weekly social outings meet this need. But others are way more independent, which means they can work and travel alone. They don’t need to go to an office and constant social interactions can actually drain them of energy.

5. What qualities in a person are important to you?

What qualities do you really respect in other people? For example, I really enjoy people who are optimistic and are constantly able to show gratitude. I also strive to surround myself with people that don’t judge others and are very slow to speak negatively about others. These are qualities that I crave and want to see in myself so I surround myself with these sorts of people. And each morning I meditate on the importance of optimism and not being judgmental. I’m certainly not there yet but lately I’ve found it easier and easier to look on the bright side and give people a break.

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These small changes will help you make time for what matters – and not just at Christmas.

There’s no better feeling than surviving the pre-holiday frenzy so you can finally get to the good stuff: Spending time with your family and friends, eating incredible food, and getting your zen on.

It really makes you wonder why we only do this once a year, and all in the name of tradition. I mean, if there weren’t these designated holidays in place, would we stop and take a breather? Would we take the time to double-check our priorities? Or would we just continue on, completely oblivious to the stress spiral we’re imposing on ourselves?

Here are 19 lifestyle tweaks that will help you make time for what’s important to you – and not just because you’re supposed to:

1. Wake up earlier. As someone who was a full-blown night hawk before making the switch, trust me: This one lifestyle tweak changes everything. Everything. You know, as long as you use the time for what you want to do and not what you “should” do.
2. Use common ground to your advantage. Instead of constantly having to flake on friends because busy this and responsibility that, get things done together you’d be doing anyway. For example, grab a few things at the grocery store or walk your dogs together.
3. Don’t use days off to catch up. We skip out on doing the dishes and other Cinderella crap during the week to squeeze in just one more episode of Grey’s, and spend our days off catching up. This leaves us with no time for what we actually want to be doing – like nothing, for instance.
4. Keep a list of loose ends on hand that take five minutes or less to do. Then when you’re waiting on a call, making coffee, or sitting in traffic, you can use those moments of epic boredom to tie them.
5. Look over everything you do in a day: What can you scale back on? For example, instead of checking the mail daily, can you check it weekly? Instead of doing your bookkeeping every Friday, can you do your bookkeeping on the last Friday of every month?
6. Cut back on errands by shopping online, having your groceries delivered, or having your common staples mailed to you automatically as you’re about to run out.
7. Put things away. Why put off bulldozing the kitchen counter or clearing the coffee table when you can do it now? Or, take some time before bed to declutter so your home’s in fully functioning order for the morning.
8. Don’t make plans. At least, not all the time. Nothing’s going to make you hyperventilate into a paper bag faster than realizing you don’t get a weekend to yourself for six months. Make the time, take the time, and use it to do whatever you feel compelled to do in the moment.
9. Don’t get sucked into the vortex that is your inbox. Create set times to check it and make the most of that time. Open each e-mail, and decide what to do with it right that second. You’ll be surprised at how much time this frees up!
10. Say no. It’s fun.
11. Use procrastination to your advantage. When you’re feeling scattered and can’t focus, use that time to organize something – anything. It’ll give your brain a refresh so you can get back to your regularly scheduled programming.
12. Write it down. Before bed, write down any loose ends that would otherwise make you toss and turn for fear of forgetting about them by morning.
13. Go tech-free. Give yourself a cutoff time at the end of the day to turn your phone off so you can legitimately wind down for bed. Otherwise, you won’t be able to get off the “just one more thing” hamster wheel.
14. Promise you won’t become that woman who always puts herself on the back burner. Choose a minimum of two non-negotiables – for example, never sacrificing your sleep or never sacrificing Shondaland – to get into the habit of making “me time” a priority.
15. Give yourself “just five minutes” to work on something you’ve been putting off or dreading. More often than not that five minutes will push you right through to the finish line.
16. Clean and run errands during the week so you’re not doing chores on weekends – but don’t overwhelm yourself. Designate each day of the week for cleaning a certain area of the house and rotate.
17. Batch your work tasks together into similar themes. When you switch from one thing to another – a call here, an e-mail there, research here, filing there – you exhaust your brain and waste oodles of time.
18. Focus on completion, not perfection. Funnel your energy into the aspects of your life that are your top priorities, and learn to be okay with just maintaining the rest.
19. Health first. Do everything you can to not skimp on sleep, exercise or healthy eating. Everything else can wait.

How do you make time for what’s important to you?

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Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. While people in the world around us can be difficult, often times we’re the ones that make it so. We treat ourselves worse than any bully possibly could. On the other hand, and equally problematic, sometimes we blame the world for our own shortcomings. The world must be out to get us and so is everyone in it. Stop negative thinking and making life more difficult than it needs to be. 

1. You let people steal your time.

It’s more important than money and success because you can never get it back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Yet, often times we let the world steal our time. Whether we stay late at the office five days a week, let the same gossipy acquaintance talk our ear off daily, or go to events we don’t really care about–your time is a precious resource so don’t let anybody steal it. You don’t realize how important your time is because you don’t think you’re important. Stop negative thinking that allows time suckers.

2. You procrastinate.

I wrote an article recently about the real reason we procrastinate. And in fact, we’re only hurting ourselves. A video from School of Life shines a light on why you may be procrastinating, claiming that the fear of failure and not succeeding may actually stop you from getting anything done.

3. You assign intent.

When something bad happens, do you always think the person that caused it was trying to hurt you? Whether it’s getting cut off in traffic or a friend that forgot to text you back. It always cuts deeper if you think it was meant to hurt you. Stuff happens in life and trust me, you’re not the center of everyone’s life, you’re just the center of your own. If the cashier at the coffee shop frowned instead of smiled, give her a break because she might just be having a bad day.

4. You don’t trust yourself.

Asking for advice is great but at some point you have to learn to trust yourself. You’re the only one that truly and completely knows what you want out of life, so don’t expect others to fill in the gaps. Trust yourself and your abilities.

5. You compare yourself to others.

Gauging your own success by comparing yourself to others is a no-win game. On one hand, comparison thinking is natural because our minds love to rank, file, and organize, but it’s too easy to get sucked into the depressing pattern of jealousy and competition. Notice when you’re doing it and halt the behavior before you get in too deep.

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Do you wake up every morning excited to head to work? If your job doesn’t necessarily incite passion, what about volunteer or extracurricular activities or your family? In fact, a sense of purpose isn’t just about making you happy in the present moment, new research shows that it may have an impact on your longevity.

People who feel in control of their lives tend to live longer than those who don’t, according to a study published in the Lancet. Researchers at the University of London monitored the wellbeing of 9,000 English participants over age 65 and found that those who were the most fulfilled were 30 percent more likely to live through a follow-up 8 1/2 years later.

Researchers used a questionnaire to measure participant sense of control, sense of purpose, and feeling that they were worthwhile. In all, 9 percent of those in the highest wellbeing group died within the follow-up period while 29 percent of those in the least satisfied category died within the same period, according to Huffington Post.

“These [latest] analyses show that the meaningfulness and sense of purpose that older people have in their lives are also related to survival,” Professor Andrew Steptoe, who led the study, said to Huffington Post. “We cannot be sure that higher wellbeing necessarily causes lower risk of death, since the relationship may not be causal.”

“But the findings raise the intriguing possibility that increasing well-being could help to improve physical health,” he added, noting that further research is needed.

Bottom line – it’s never too late to go after your passion in life and in the end, your happiness in mind and spirit may be just as connected to your health as diet and exercise. Take time to be mindful of living your life well.

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We’ve long speculated about the key to finding authentic happiness.

Denmark, along with other Northern European nations offer a wide range of social services. There’s seemingly little internal conflict, trust in government, little separation between the rich and the poor–while these are potential motivators of authentic happiness, what if it was more than that? What if happiness also came down to Danish DNA?

Scientists have uncovered genetic traits that may hold a clue as to why the Danes are so smiley all the time. Each year polls and surveys alike name Denmark among the happiest nations. And after looking at international surveys from 131 countries,  researchers are suggesting that genetics may play a role.

“The results were surprising, we found that the greater a nation’s genetic distance from Denmark, the lower the reported wellbeing of that nation,” said Eugenio Proto, one of the researchers, in a news release, reported in World Science Report. “Our research adjusts for many other influences including Gross Domestic Product, culture, religion and the strength of the welfare state and geography.”

Researchers looked at studies that suggested a link between authentic happiness and a mutation of a gene that influences the reuptake of serotonin. Of 30 nations studied, Denmark and the Netherlands had the highest percentage of people with this variant gene.

“This study has used three kinds of evidence and, contrary to our own assumptions when we began the project, it seems there are reasons to believe that genetic patterns may help researchers to understand international well-being levels,” said Andrew Oswald, one of the researchers on World Science Report. “More research in the area is now needed and economists and social scientists may need to pay greater heed to the role of genetic variation across national populations.”

What do you think? Is there a happiness gene? And is that gene tied to location?

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Authentic happiness comes with good habits and it’s the simple things that can change your life. When life hits you with a set back, go right back to the good habits that brought you happiness and peace in the first place.

Finding happiness and bliss in this life can be difficult with all the distractions that are constantly pulling us off track. But a few simple tried and true methods can change your life.

1. Fake it until your make it.

If you want authentic happiness, act like it. While it seems counterintuitive, it makes sense. I want to be a positive person that sees the goodness in everybody even though sometimes I don’t feel that way. But feelings follow actions so if you act like you love everyone even when want to make a disparaging comment, you’ll feel much better for it. If you want to be peaceful, act like it and eventually, you’ll begin to find more peace and balance in your life.

2. Learn to single-task.

One of the most important good habits that you can have is understanding that multi-tasking is overrated. In the end, you just do a bunch of things ineffectively. If you focus on one task at a time, you’ll end up doing that task much better. I like to start my day with about five things that I absolutely have to get done. I won’t stop working until I’ve accomplished those tasks. I work through my list one at a time. Single-tasking also means that my mind doesn’t move off task at all–that means no Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, texting, or checking my bank account while I’m accomplishing a task. It allows for focus and mindfulness. In a sense, you’re meditating while you’re working.

3. Make every day a holiday.

This is your life so it seems a little depressing that you would only have two weekend days per week. Work is essential for most of us, but authentic happiness is about finding goodness in every day. Find focus and peace in what you’re working on and don’t get caught in a rut. As a writer, I’ll checkout a different coffee shop, take a walk on the beach, or ride my bike to break up the day. In the end, you don’t want your life to be separated into work and play. Find a balance so that there’s a little play in every day.

4. Be positive.

Try and be positive for as much of your life as you can. Don’t say negative things about people or things. Try and find gratitude each and every day. You’ll notice that every time you say something bad about someone else, you feel bad for saying it. While it’s no easy task, being positive will change your life and bring authentic happiness.

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Think it’s impossible to be happy at a job you can’t stand? Think again.

So yeah, your job pays the bills, but it doesn’t exactly give you the warm and fuzzies. Maybe you’re working your way up the ladder or haven’t decided which ladder you want to climb – either way, you’re not alone.

According to Gallup’s “State of The Global Workplace” report, roughly 1 in 4 people are “actively disengaged” in their work (meaning they’re unhappy and unproductive, and likely spread this negativity amongst their coworkers).

Even though we’ve always been soul mates, my writing career and I didn’t click until my late twenties, which meant taking jobs along the way to avoid living out of a shopping cart (some soul-crushing, some not-bad-could-be-better). I’m not going to lie: There were days when I was unbearable to be around – so much so, I wanted to break up with myself.

What made it that much harder was knowing there was no sense in talking about it. After all, you’re not “supposed” to like your job. That’s why it’s called a job (and if we all had a nickel for every time we’ve heard this, we’d all retire and there’d be no point to this article). My philosophy is: If you want to find a better job or go after an impossible career, then you should do it. Period. But first you have to survive the job you’re in (you know, without bathing with a toaster).

Here are just some of the strategies you can use to be happy at that pesky job of yours while navigating the minefield of finding your niche:

1. Think of your workday in installments
Don’t look at your workday as an 8-hour, mind-rotting extravaganza. Instead, break your day down into chunks and deal with one chunk at a time. Mindfulness makes the day go that much faster.

2. Decorate your office
Make your workspace a calm and orderly environment. Include items that not only inspire you now, but also cater to who you want to become in the future.

3. Decompress
Confession: I used to smoke (I know, shame on me). While I don’t miss the whole smelling like an ashtray thing, I do miss the ritual of smoking. It was five whole minutes where I wouldn’t multitask, I wouldn’t stress about 50 things at the same time – I would just be. Take “smoke breaks” without the smoking. Find five-minute pockets throughout your day and do something relaxing: Have a coffee, take a short walk, do anything to periodically get away from the unrelenting sense of urgency.

4. Develop a social circle
No matter how cruddy the job, there are fabulous people who are dealing with the cruddiness right alongside you. Form a wolf pack and help each other survive the monotony.

5. Just ask
Are there ways you feel your job could be improved, or tasks you feel someone else would be more equipped to handle? Be honest with your boss and see if you can find a compromise. As much as we might think so, our bosses don’t want us to be miserable (just make sure you phrase your requests by focusing on what’s in it for them, not you).

6. Don’t rush
The ironic thing about rushing is that it takes twice as long to do things than if you were to take your time. Don’t say yes to everything and overextend yourself, but don’t say no to everything and end up feeling even more unfulfilled than you already do. Step outside of your comfort zone just enough to keep things interesting, but not so much you’re overwhelmed. However much you do, always do it well.

7. Accept your coworkers for who they are
No matter where you work, there’s always that one person who makes it impossible to be happy with your job: When they’re there, the office seems that much dimmer. The weather that much cloudier. Even your salad wilts in their presence. It’s tempting to try and fix them, but in letting go of the baggage that makes them the way they are, you’ll find them a lot easier to tolerate (Xanax works too – kidding!). Refuse to let them in your bubble.

8. Create your own incentives
So your boss pulled an “Office Space” and now you’re stuck working the weekend. Use the overtime money to buy yourself something pretty. That’s an order.

9. Reframe how you look at your job
Take the things you don’t like doing, and think about how they contribute to what you love doing. For example, I can’t stand grocery shopping, but grocery shopping leads to healthy eating, which leads to not feeling like crap, which leads to me being alert enough to write snazzy articles for ya’ll. But grocery shopping on its own, with no clear purpose other than I have to or I’ll starve – well, it gives me hives.

10. Trust yourself
You have full control over your life. Trust in your ability to make your job work for you, not against you. If you know you can do better elsewhere, trust in your ability to find elsewhere. If the odds are stacked against you, trust in your ability to pull a “Jerry Maguire.” You have the survival instincts to make it happen – you just need to use them.

How do you amp up your happiness at work?

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