I’m a never, non-married lady, so I’ve been on quite a few dates. From time to time, I like to peruse dating advice articles and blogs. It’s not like I glean a ton of information from these pieces, but it’s still fun – educational? – to read about dating trends. Recently, I read some of the worst dating advice ever, though.

The advice? “Don’t share too much on the first date.” What in the ever-loving heck. Isn’t the whole point of dating to get to, you know, know someone?

In my opinion, you can’t share too much on a first date. When I go on a date, I’m pretty open. I’d rather a guy “get” who I am early on than be totally creeped out down the line.

Why am I so open? Well, in all honesty, I’m a pretty complicated lady. I have a lot of opinions, I’m a die-hard feminist annnnnnd I’ve got some interesting quirks. So, if a fella doesn’t think he can handle my wonderful personality traits, that’s cool. Break free, dude! I don’t want to waste my time with you, either.

Now, I haven’t always had this opinion. When I was younger, I was more insecure than I am now. Dating was hard. I barely talked and worried what the guy would think about my nervous quirks. My dart-y eyes, my shaky hands – it all embarrassed me. Now, however, I like to let all my freak flags (because I totally have more than one) fly. While my “willingness” to showcase my quirks has gotten better over the years because, I’ve also learned that expressing myself helps me find really great guys. The more open I am, the quicker I find out if the fella is a match.

So, what’s some of the worst dating advice you’ve ever received? And do you share on your first dates? Let us know in the comment section.

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Do you sleep with your crush on the third date? After a month? After you both get your test results back? Deciding when it’s right to sleep with someone is something you should think about, but when it feels right (even if it’s on the first date), go for it.

Dating sites and various women’s magazines are filled with advice about when you should knock boots with a mate. I’ve been dating “the fellas” (my generic term for single dudes) for quite a few years and I’ve received all sorts of advice from friends, family, and screens. Everything from, “you should really wait until you’re married,” to “wait until he’s about to go crazy with frustration!” And then there are the advice columns that scream that no dude will ever call you back if you have sex with him on the first date… as if. I’ve ignored all of the pseudo-advice. There’s not magic waiting period when it comes to deciding if you’re ready to sleep with someone.

The hard and fast (no pun intended, but still… pretty funny) mantra I repeat in my head before I decide if I’m going to do the deed with a guy is: Do I want to, and am I comfortable?

For me to want to sleep with someone and be comfortable enough to engage in physical contact I typically have to get the following information:

1. Is he pressuring me to sleep with him? If the answer is yes, I won’t engage in any physical activity. I won’t even kiss the dude. I’m a big supporter of relaxed seduction. I want a partner who doesn’t try to speed along the process. If we’re going to get naked on the first date, it’s because we both want to and it just happens. No pressure should be involved.

2. Have we discussed STD and STI testing? I am always up to date with my tests, and feel like I need to share this information with any and every potential sexual partner. I expect the person I’m going to have sex with to do the same. If we can both talk about safer sex with enthusiasm and confidence, then I’m more comfortable becoming intimate with an individual.

3. Are we both enthusiastic about it? I am the queen of enthusiastic consent. If we aren’t both excited to get down to it, and aren’t verbally able to say, “hell yeah, let’s do this,” then I want to wait until we both are. Because really, what’s hotter than a resounding, “yes, please – I want to take off your pants”?

Now, everybody’s criteria is different when deciding to sleep with someone. What’s important is that you decide the information you need to get from a person before you feel comfortable getting naked. Just adhere to your personal checklist whenever you’re on a date… even if it’s the first date.

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Resources

Sex on the First Date Does Not Determine Whether a Man Will Call Again

7 Proven Reasons Why It’s Perfectly Okay To Have Sex On The First Date

Image: sabrina’s stash

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