Women have not always felt free to date whomever they’ve wanted. Society, personal obligation, fear…You name the reason and a woman somewhere at some time probably felt like she had to choose a certain partner because of one outside or internal reason or another.

Society and older women

As a society, we’ve villanized older women who like younger men, more so than their male counterparts, says Laura Bilotta, a dating coach and matchmaker in Toronto.

“Women shouldn’t have to feel a stigma when it comes to dating younger men. As long as everyone is a consenting adult and they aren’t abusing their power, there is nothing wrong with a May/December romance.”

Thankfully, though, many of these “walls” are coming down, and women, in general, fell freer to date whoever they want.

The polls

A 2017 poll from Seeking Arrangement found that 42 percent of women date younger men because of their increased energy; 23 percent date younger men because women think their male mates look up to them; 18 percent of women date younger men because they are in shape; 12 percent date younger men because these men are not intimidated by the older woman’s success; and 5 percent of older women say they date younger men because the women are looking for carefree fun.

Although this poll doesn’t come from an incredibly reputable source, and the poll only had 6,237 respondents, its findings were not surprising to interviewees.

The reasons behind the numbers

Generally, older women who date younger men have already been married, says Bilotta.

“[They] were unsatisfied in their previous relationship [and] want someone young and exciting in their life,” adds Bilotta. “I hear from women on their second time around that older men stop taking care of themselves and don’t have the energy to keep up with them.”

Bilotta also says that women who’ve gone through a divorce want a certain level of control over their lives and relationships. “Being older in the relationship means they have the experience and therefore the upper hand.”

David Ezell, CEO of Darien Wellness, says society is coming to terms with the idea of intergenerational relationships, too. “Our culture is much more comfortable with older men and younger women,” adds Ezell. “If you have any doubts, look at the hundreds of movies where that is the case. In most cases, either party is looking for someone outside of their age group who can bring a level of experience and maturity (for the men) and energy, excitability and optimism (for the women).”

Ezell also says he thinks the above information applies to younger women and older men, as well as same-sex couples.

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Our suspicions were real: Many men truly don’t understand what constitutes as consent.

Sexual interest isn’t consent

A study from Binghamton University and Rush University found that a majority of men confuse sexual interest with consent. The faculty-led study surveyed 145 straight male students at a large, Southeastern university. The researchers had the male students examine various hypothetical sexual situations.

“In response, most of the men confused sexual interest from a female partner with consent,” reports Teen Vogue. “The researchers found [that,] basically, if their partner didn’t say no, the men in the study seemed to think that meant yes.”

“We found that the way in which the woman communicated her sexual intentions, that is verbal refusal versus passive responding, had the largest effect of men’s perceptions,” adds Richard Mattson, associate professor of psychology at Binghamton University.

Confusion and consent

The public tends to think sex is unidimensional—”that there is just one attitude that is either for or against a sex act,” explains Nicole Prause, Ph.D. and founder of Liberos LLC.

“Science is quite clear that sex is at least two-dimensional and continuous,” says Prause.

Think of the two dimensions as facilitating and inhibitory. If both dimensions are high, a person may think: “I want to have sex with this gorgeous person, but I’m scared they are a player”. Or inhibitory might be high and facilitating average.

The tricky reality of consent

So, how can we better educate people about consent? Increase empathy… and education.

“Many adults still do not realize that women are [typically] at a greater risk for getting sexual infections even when condoms are used,” says Prause.

Prause adds that women also are typically at a greater risks of assault, pregnancy, and social risk. These concerns typically “live” in the inhibitory dimension. She adds that “mostly” men are “likely only considering the facilitating dimension”, getting a woman aroused enough to say yes, says Prause.

So, learning about these dimensions and understanding each dimension’s complications can breed safer sexual relationships.

Kryss Shane, owner of This Is Kryss, adds that teaching consent begins with teaching boundaries and educating people about their bodies. “Next, conversations [should concern] how to let someone know you are interested and how to hear someone who [says] they are not interested.”

From there, discussions should concern helping people when they are in trouble. Also: education concerning group-think and what to do when that “think” becomes dangerous.

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Technology has brought porn from the pages of magazines to the internet and virtual reality headsets.

And although most porn consumers would most likely say that the expansion of porn is positive, some new services are further blurring the line between sex, porn, and consent.

Porn and consent

A recent Motherboard piece reports that deepfakes, a Reddit user, face-swapped Gal Gadot’s face—the actress who recently played Wonder Woman—on a porn star’s body. “Sometimes the face doesn’t track correctly and there’s an uncanny valley effect at play,” reports Motherboard, “but at a glance it seems believable.”

Deepfakes was able to create the swap by using “open-source machine learning tools,” such as TensorFlow.

Unfortunately, Gadot isn’t the only person who has been victimized by the rogue Reddit user. The person has also face-swapped faces of Scarlett Johansson, Maisie Williams, Taylor Swift, and Aubrey Plaza.

This gross misuse of technology further proves that people still don’t recognize or respect sexual consent. Although face-swapping a person’s face on a porn performer’s body is nothing like rape, it’s still a breach of consent.

Face-swap and revenge porn

Since this type of technology is already being used to create fake celebrity porn, it’s only a matter of time before it’s used to create fake revenge porn.

Revenge porn, when a person publishes or distributes the nude photos or sex tapes of a former partner, is already a major problem. So, just imagine how complicated revenge porn will get once face-swapping becomes a factor.

“Working with VR, I also imagine [revenge porn, etc.] in virtual reality,” says Antony Vitillo, AR/VR consultant and owner of the AR (augmented reality)/VR (virtual reality) blog The Ghost Howls. “There are already VR porn videos that give you the impression of having sex with one or more actress, actor. Imagine using this new AI-hack in these kinds of videos.”

How to handle consent

Yes, there will always be people who will view this type of porn and publish it. But the only way to combat this development is to educate. By educating people about why it’s not OK to view this type of porn, and why it *hopefully* will soon be illegal everywhere to create it, we can stop it.

Vitillo adds that keeping people updated about new technologies can help Internet users know there is a new “revenge” risk. “Furthermore we should inform people on how to tell a fake video and a real one,” he adds.

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And you thought we’d never ask.

We know that sex, at its most basic function, perpetuates us—or at least, creatures that sort of look like us. Aside from peopling, we enjoy sex for other reasons, none more popular of course than the fact that it feels, really, really good. Whether alone, with a loved one, or with several people, a healthy sexual encounter makes us feel instantly better—even somewhat renewed and more confident. It’s a soul reset button. And the big question some are asking: can it also save the human race?

There have been many credible scientific studies done on sex and its effects on the human brain and body. We know it can improve immune function, improve sleep, help keep weight off, boost mood, make us happier and nicer. It can even make us look younger, too. During the intensity of orgasm, we experience complete opulence, freedom from pain, and a temporary loss of awareness of our ego. These are important things, not just for our own personal health and relationships, but they also effect how we interact with the world around us.

Bonobos, those lesser-known chimpanzee-looking distant cousins of ours are renowned for their use of sex to reduce tension and conflict. They explore homosexuality with reckless abandon. Vanessa Woods, author of “Bonobo Handshake” says the animals “hold the key to a world without war.”

While humans are more frequently compared to the more violent chimpanzee, Woods says we also share nearly 99 percent of the same DNA with bonobos. “Their physiology, biochemistry, and psychology is set up to avoid violence. The fact that sex is their mechanism to reduce tension is irrelevant. We need to study the hell out of bonobos and use our big fat brains to find our own mechanism so we can live peacefully,” says Woods.

So, why don’t we?

In our fast-moving modern world, many seekers are eschewing the “old” paradigm of relationships: one man, one woman, until death. They’re exploring multiple partners, regardless of gender or sexual preference. Author and philosopher Daniel Pinchbeck writes, “Doesn’t it seem, sometimes, that we have not yet explored even a fraction of our erotic potential? It still feels that life as we live it today continues under tremendous constraint and suppression of instinct.” And he’s not alone. The polyamorous movement is growing. (Don’t confuse polyamory with polygamy. It’s not, like the television show “Big Love” portrays, one man with several wives. That’s still patriarchal–where the man may be free to have multiple partners, but women are more or less, subservient. )

Polyamory, also known as “open relationships,” allows for open sexual exploration, without jealousy and possessiveness. In theory, anyway. How that differs from, say, your college partying years is that adult polyamorous relationships are a bit more transparent, and may overlap. And regardless of whether or not having multiple partners seems to be too cumbersome, it’s what’s beyond that layer of judgement that’s getting the most attention. Pinchbeck asks: “What if loving someone meant you trusted them completely and wanted them to have any non-harmful experience they truly desired, without any judgment at all? Is there a way to explore this authentically and vulnerably, without setting off society’s alarm bells so immediately, without setting one’s self up for personal attacks?”

Pinchbeck cites visits to Portugal’s Tamera community and books written by the founders that focus on the importance of the tribe rather than the isolated family, “a sharing-based and non-possessive model of love and sexuality is possible within a community that is exploring this as a spiritual practice and with a deeper intention to create peace on earth.”

We live in a country where homosexuality is still seen as a defect (or worse, a “sin”) by millions. That gay marriage is an issue speaks to an even bigger issue with regard to our fears and judgments about sex. And heaven forbid someone brings up transgender…Like Pinchbeck says, what if we loved and trusted each other enough to allow each other to have whatever non-harmful erotic experiences we desired?

If our sexual suppression and misguided exploitations (I’m talking to you, beer commercials and Republicans who think women can “auto-abort”) were to be replaced by healthy encouragement and support, what kind of world would we be living in? This is not an invitation to lewd and outlandish orgies where disrespect and force play dominant roles. But it can involve multiple partners and homosexual encounters. Healthy sexual encouragement can also happen in monogamous relationships, too (my personal preference). Regular intimacy between two people can be deeply satisfying. But as a culture, there’s clearly a disconnect from our  sexuality, and an opportunity for us to heal through shared intimacy. Which may be why Pinchbeck and others are so curious about exploring open relationships. It’s panacea to the depraved and deeply unsatisfying sexual culture we’ve cultivated both in private and in public.

We’re at our most vulnerable and empowered during sex—naked, letting go, giving in to pure feeling and connection. It’s scary and thrilling, and the deeper we go without judging, the better it feels. And perhaps, the faster we can heal our wounds around sexuality. Says Pinchbeck, “this can only be done on an authentic and transparent basis where our desires are not repressed or hidden… they can be mastered, rather than controlled.” Perhaps it’s clarified best by someone who doesn’t even have sex, Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, who said: “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

Find Jill on Twitter and Instagram

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Some sex workers are concerned about the safety of people who participate on “sugar dating” sites.

The of danger sugar daddy sites

A sex worker from the Moonlite Bunny Ranch legal brothel in Nevada is concerned about the well-being and safety of “sugar babies” — people who receive money and gifts from sugar daddies or mommies for intimate services.

Alex Page, a licensed working woman at the Bunny Ranch, recently wrote a blog post detailing how she once left the Ranch to pursue sugar baby work.

According to Page, she spent over four years at the Bunny Ranch before signing up to work on a popular sugar dating website. “I loved working at the ranch. [But] I found it increasingly difficult to explain the long periods of time that I was spending away from my home in the Midwest,” says Page.

She also said that the thought of maintaining a good income locally while continuing to work in an “ostensibly legal manner” was appealing. However, one evening, after a date, she was subjected to assault from one of her “daddies”.

“I sat on his couch and started playing with [his dogs]. He came and sat next to me. I didn’t think anything of it until he started rubbing my shoulders. I tensed up and told him that I should be getting home. When he didn’t stop I moved to get up. That’s when he grabbed me roughly by the hair and pulled me towards him. I yelled for him to stop. He told me he was going to get what he paid for. In the end, he did. After he dragged me to his bedroom, he took what he wanted. When it was all over he went to sleep.”

The danger of unregulated sex work

Page told her story in hopes to warn other people about the dangers they could encounter on sugar dating sites, which in her opinion, are essentially another form of unregulated—aka unsafe—sex work.

“I know that there are many women who have had positive experiences as independent escorts, call girls, or as sugar babies. [And] there are a lot of online resources to help connect potential clients and illegal prostitutes, like sugar dating websites,” writes Page.

But Page says she thinks sugar dating is an euphemism for prostitution. And, as most Americans know, prostitution is an unregulated and illegal industry throughout most of the United States.

“Unlike in a licensed Nevada brothel, there is no legislation ensuring for the safety and health of the young women and men who connect via sugar dating websites,” she says.

“I learned the hard way that no one had my back as a sugar baby. I was totally alone and vulnerable without any industry standards or practices to support me.”

Kayla Lords, writer and “sexpert” at JackandJillAdult.com, agrees with Page’s sentiment.

“[Some sugar sites] will work well for some people, and other [people] will deal with predators who abuse and rape a sugar baby,” says Lords.

“[And] because many, but not all, people who join to become a sugar baby believe no sex is required, they also think they are automatically safe. Unfortunately, this simply isn’t true. Risks are inherent in any type of sex work.”

Lords adds that, in general, more needs to be done to make it safe for sugar babies—and everyone else—to report rape and abuse while also jailing and prosecuting the rapists and abusers.

… but is it prostitution?

Lords, however, thinks that saying all sugar sites are “prostitution” producers isn’t quite accurate. She adds that there are sugar babies, daddies, etc. who find the non-sexual aspect of their relationship satisfying. Although, others join for other reasons—some of which are clearly predatory.

“Instead of looking down on sugar daddy websites, [perhaps] educate sugar babies to protect themselves. Give them space and encouragement to report problems,” adds Lords.

Legalizing sex work

Lords agrees with Page and thinks sex work should be legalized to provide protections for people who offer the service. Because we all know that making sex work illegal doesn’t stop the practice of buying and selling sex. It only makes it more dangerous for the people who do it.

Lords adds that this restriction also obstructs sex workers from opportunities people in other industries have access to. “Society paints sex workers as tragic figures abused and pushed into the life or bad people who don’t deserve compassion,” she adds.

“The reality is that many sex workers are good, caring, honest people who simply want to make a living in a safe, healthy way by offering a service that clearly has a market and plenty of people willing to pay money to access.”

She finishes by stating that sex workers don’t deserve society’s pity or condemnation—they deserve support, compassion, respect, and understanding.

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Most consumer products are safe. And although we’re mostly certain that the companies  selling the following new products don’t intend on inadvertently hurting people, hurt customers they might.

At-home HPV testing

HPV is a common sexually transmitted infection. So common that, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly all sexually active people will get the virus within their lifetime. Some strains of HPV can cause genital warts and other forms can cause cancers if left untreated. The virus is spread via anal, oral, or vaginal sex. And the virus is spread so easily because it can be transmitted when a person shows no symptoms of having it.

Most cases of HPV are only discovered in women, as there is no way to test for HPV in men. The only test that currently finds HPV is given to women who are 30 years of age or older. There is no way to test for HPV that may reside in a person’s mouth or throat.

Given these guidelines, you could imagine why health professionals would have concerns with the new, at-home HPV test that a woman can administer herself.

Skip the Eve Kit

The Eve Kit does seem to cover all its bases… When a woman receives a kit, she’s connected to a licensed doctor who will get the sample she provides to an accredited clinical lab. The doctor will follow up with results and any future recommendations.

However, when it comes to something like HPV, testing and diagnosis is best when left to the professionals.

“To me, this is as bad as googling,” Dr. Angela Jones, an OBGYN and Astroglide’s resident sexual health advisor, says.

“Positive results in the wrong hands can be really anxiety provoking. How does one ensure that the correct individuals are being screened? How is appropriate follow up ensured? What happens when further testing and workup such as a colposcopy is needed? The list of what-ifs goes on and on for me.”

And Kara Carpenter, Outreach Coordinator at STDcheck.com, adds that user error should be a major concern. “One study (linked to here) intentionally sent in STD infected specimens only to find out that half of their specimens tested negative,” Carpenter says.

Jones says she understands a person or company’s desire to develop a test that gives access to those who are in need and may not otherwise have access to testing. But she’s still concerned how abnormal tests and further HPV management will be handled. She also adds this incredibly important point: a HPV test DOES NOT replace a pap smear!

The penis sticker is the worst idea ever

Apparently, Jiftip, a new age “condom” company, is selling penis stickers. These stickers are designed to stop cum from emerging out of a man’s penis. However, the Jiftip site explains its stickers are only intended for novelty use and not for STI or pregnancy prevention.

You can say your product is for novelty use all you want. But put this crap in the hands of aggressive men who tell their partners that they just want to feel “real” sex, and disaster will inevitably occur.

And no surprise here: Health experts agree with our concern.

“The Jiftip is harmful to people’s health because men may say they are ‘wearing protection’ when in fact they are exposing their partner to harmful STDs,” Carpenter says.

“Additionally, the Jiftip site doesn’t say anywhere how accurate the product is so it could lead to unplanned pregnancies. When people intentionally remove a condom this is seen as stealthing which is illegal in several states.”

She adds that if people start getting pregnant after using the sticker, it could lead to a lot of controversies, similar to what was seen with the stealthing sensation. Especially if men are using the sticker to provide a false sense of security.

Jones also reminds us of this important fact: STIs, such as herpes and HPV, can be spread by skin to skin contact without the exchange of bodily fluids…

A reminder on how to prevent STIs

The only tried and true way to prevent STIs is with safe sex practices. “Even if you are on another form of contraception, some sort of barrier contraception should be utilized for STI prevention; such as condoms,” Jones says.

Jones also adds that it’s critical for people to have an open discussion with their partner about the nature of their sexual practices, too.

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Five days of sex ed in one video.

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Condoms have never been anyone’s favorite sexual accessory, but in recent years, it appears that more people are choosing to have protection-free sex. This new reality is disturbing.

A false sense of security

A recent study released by Online Doctor, a United Kingdom-based online physician consultation and prescription service, found that 55.1 percent of Europeans and 65.5 percent of Americans have unprotected sex. The most disturbing figure the study revealed was that 29.1 percent of Americans didn’t use protection every single time — the gender breakdown for this statistic is 36.8 percent women and 23.5 percent men. Europeans don’t use protection 18.2 percent of the time — the European gender breakdown is 20 percent women and 16.8 percent men.

Although this study is less than perfect — the people who created the study only surveyed 2,000 people (1,000 Americans and 1,000  Europeans), the study doesn’t describe who these people are, how old they are, etc. — it does highlight that many sexually active people don’t use protection during sex.

Why condoms have fallen even further out of favor

Although we live in the age of drug-resistant gonorrhea, teens, adults, and seniors often still choose to forgo protection.

The reasons people make this dangerous decision are simple and sadly, classic.

Lack of education

Lack of education about sexual health comes in many forms, but the most damaging seems to be that people are unaware how to obtain condoms, have a difficult time communicating the desire to use protection, and people tend to not be able to grasp the probability that something could go wrong — they don’t understand how susceptible they may be to unplanned pregnancy, or sexual infections.

“A poor understanding of probability is a real problem,” Nicole Prause, Ph.D. at Liberos LLC, says.

“If you tell people about the dangers of HIV or risk of pregnancy, but they fail to understand that this very rare risk occurs with every sex act, people are lulled into false security.”

According to the CDC, in 2014, there were an estimated 37,600 new HIV infections. In 2015, youth aged 13 to 24 accounted for 22 percent of all new HIV diagnoses in the United States. The CDC also reports that there was a significant increase in sexually transmitted infections over the last 5 years. And of teenagers who become pregnant in high school, there is a cycle of low education, poverty, single parenting, and teen parenting — 70 percent of teen mothers do not finish high school, Grubb adds.

And often, the choice to not wear a condom comes during the heat of the moment. Also: If a person doesn’t see an obvious sign of a STI, he or she may not think a condom is necessary. And, unfortunately, most people don’t ask their partners if they have a STI.

Other methods of birth control work

The pill, contraceptive shots, IUDs, and great period tracking apps have also helped condoms become less “important”.

The U.S. health system has effectively increased contraceptive usage among adolescents and young adults. These methods include long acting reversible contraceptive methods. But because of contraceptives’ effectiveness, adolescents often forgo condoms.

Part of this is because more people associate condoms with preventing pregnancy and not a barrier to STIs. So, women who are using various contraceptives — or their male partners — may think a condom is unnecessary.

Change sex education

So, how can we stop this dangerous trend? A combination of methods is key.

First, sex educators need to be able to rewrite sex education curriculum for the next generation of teens. Comprehensive curriculum is integral and should include scientifically accurate information. Topics that deserve attention are abstinence, condoms, contraceptive methods, pregnancy, STIs, and healthy relationships.

“We need to make sure our kids grow up respecting their bodies and their self. [We need to] talk to them about how to manage situations that they may find themselves in,” Cath Hakanson, founder of Sex Ed Rescue, says.

“It is about respecting yourself enough to do what is right for you. Not what the ‘condomless’ partner wants.”

Second, people of all ages — especially teens — need easy access to condoms. Location, price, privacy, etc. is important.

“If an adolescent must ask a pharmacist to unlock a cabinet for condoms, they are less likely to purchase them,” Grubb says.

Access to free or low cost condoms that are easily available in a non-stigmatizing manner will improve condom usage.

And lastly, educators should teach teens how to safely, kindly, and effectively communicate with his, her, of they’s partner.

“Strong communication skills and being in a relationship that has open dialogue improves condom usage,” Grubb adds.

“Adolescents and young adults must feel empowered to discuss and negotiate condom usage with their partners.”

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Are you an ecosexual?

If you think the Earth is a sensual place worth saving, you could be…

The ecosexual

Artists and educators Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens coined the term “ecosexual” in 2009 as a person who considers the Earth a lover, rather than a mother.

To drive this relationship-status home, Sprinkle and Stephens have staged almost 15 large-scale weddings to the Earth, moon, sun, and sea.

This all could seem a bit… much. But the couple insists that their works and art are truly meant to give the environmental movement a fun and diverse twist.

“You might give your mother a hard time and she’ll put up with it, but with a lover it’s a question of give and take and, ecosexuals believe, that’s just what the planet needs right now,” The Guardian reports.

Sustainable love

Any person who wants to help the Earth knows that keeping one’s relationship with the planet sustainable is important.

This kind of sustainable, reciprocal relationship is what ecosexuality is all about. Instead of just taking from the Earth, human beings must give back, Stephens says.

“This movement is so important now because climate change is endangering the Earth and all of its inhabitants,” she adds.

“We cannot continue practicing business as usual because that system is destroying the very resources, such as water, that all living beings need to stay alive and flourish.”

Thinking outside the box

The Earth is free of gender. And Sprinkle and Stephens think this gender-free distinction could help people better respect the planet and its resources.

“Thinking of the Earth as male or female reifies binary thinking,” Stephens explains.

“This allows us to privilege one thing over another. It makes some things worth keeping and others… not so much.”

It’s not such a crazy idea. After all, throughout history, westerners have privileged culture over nature. And Stephens thinks the world’s current ecological crises is the result of that thinking.

These ecosexuals may be on to something…

In addition to discussing ecosexuality, Stephens and Sprinkle make art, create performance and theater pieces, give lectures, and produce and direct films. Find out more about their work here.

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Abstinence-only sex education doesn’t provide any reproductive health education. If anything, it may put teens who receive it more at risk.

Just wait until marriage

Although some abstinence-only sex ed programs ended when George W. Bush left office, the Trump administration is ushering in the return of this useless curriculum.

Back in May, the Trump administration approved a $277 million increase in spending for “abstinence-until-marriage programs.” Salon reported that Valerie Huber, head of Ascend—a pro-abstinence organization, will join the Department of Health an Human Services as chief of staff to the assistant secretary for adolescent health. Huber’s new position will allow her to push for more abstinence programs directed toward teens.

Abstinence with a twist

Although most of these religious-right backed abstinence programs used to be known as “abstinence-only,” current republican-supported abstinence curriculum was recently rebranded. Abstinence programs are now known as “sexual risk avoidance” programs.

Instead of pushing the whole “wait until marriage” agenda, schools now teach that abstinence as the way—the only way—to avoid health risks related to sexual activity. Those risks, according to these “just say no” sex ed programs, don’t properly educate teens about contraception. And Salon reports that two Ascend-backed programs—REAL Essentials and Choosing the Best—still teach that having sex makes a person “dirty.”

“REAL Essentials explains that glue (i.e., sex) is a bonding agent that works best on a surface that is ‘clean and dry’ (i.e., virgins),” the Texas Freedom Network, an organization that advocates for the separation of church and state, reports.

“Choosing the Best includes a similar exercise using adhesive tape. The exercise involves placing tape on a student’s skin, then removing it to show what has transferred from the skin to the tape. What remains on the tape is supposed to represent the emotional baggage resulting from sex.”

Abstinence-only sex ed just doesn’t work

Abstinence-only education so ineffective because it shames students, and doesn’t provide essential information about sex. And these programs aren’t relatable. Over half of high school students have had sexual intercourse before finishing high school.

However, comprehensive sex education programs—curriculum that discusses abstinence among other contraceptive information—can help teens choose to delay sexual intercourse. They also increase condom usage among young people.

So, why do abstinence programs still exist?

Fear and control can’t win

Kris Gowen, a sex educator at the Oregon Health and Sciences University, thinks fear is the heart of the issue.

“Adults are afraid that young people will make poor decisions about their sexual health if they are given too much information,” Gowen explains.

“I can see the logic in that—the idea that if you expose a young person to certain facts about safer sex they will be more likely to engage in sex—but it’s simply not true. Research has shown that providing young people with accurate information about sexual health decreases the likelihood they will participate in unhealthy sexual behaviors.”

In addition to being absolutely ineffective, abstinence-based programs are dangerous and isolate kids who don’t identify as heterosexual.

Gowen hopes all sex ed programs will expand, become comprehensive, and acknowledge the relationship component of sex.

“Unless you are talking about masturbation, sex happens with another person,” Gowen adds.

“In addition to teaching about different methods of contraception and how to avoid STIs, we need to talk more about consent, listening to a sexual partner, and understanding what a healthy relationship looks like.”

After all, truly healthy sex is what every parent wants their child to eventually experience. If educators teach teens how to make responsible decisions, they’ll respect this, and make it a reality.

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