ColumnWhen we’re breaking bread, we’re creating memories, memories that weave our life story together.

A year ago I was on a trip in France with a man named Frank Moore.

Frank Moore is a 91-year old World War II veteran that stormed the beaches of Normandy. A native Oregonian, he’s a world renowned fly fisherman. He had returned to France to fulfill a lifelong dream of fishing on rivers that he once crossed as a soldier, and we were there to make a film about it.

I know, I know, this is a column about food, and here I am talking about a fly fishing veteran. How do the two go together? Bear with me.

Frank is the kind of man that you’ve always wanted to meet. He’s wise and full of stories. His wife Jeanne is the same, and together they make a loving couple who have been through thick and thin for more than 70 years.

While traveling with Frank, I thought a lot about food. After landing on Utah Beach, Frank and his fellow allied troops made their way through France, and eventually ended up in Luxembourg in need of some serious R&R. He spent several weeks in Luxembourg, and he has a story of a meal that a woman in the village made for him and a few other soldiers. In the midst of war, this was not a time of opulence, and yet this woman knew that these men needed a real meal, they needed the act of breaking bread with fellow humans in a peaceful setting. Something to provide them sustenance, both physically and emotionally.

Frank recounts this meal as a feast, better than anything he had eaten since he had landed in Europe. In the midst of war, he had a moment to sit, eat and share a moment with others, and that memory is forever etched into his mind.

Throughout our time in France working on the film “Mending the Line,” we ate a lot of special meals. People invited us into their homes, honored to cook for Frank and Jeanne. In Normandy meals were fueled by cidre fermier and followed by smelly Pont-l’Évêque cheese. If we were lucky there was a round of Calvados to finish the evening.

After an emotional morning walking Utah Beach, we gathered around a table, diving into cast iron pots of mussels fresh from the salty waters.

A morning before fishing on a quiet river in the countryside of Normandy, a breakfast spread of local eggs and yogurt, all of us seated around the huge farm table in a tiny river cottage.

There was a picnic on the banks of the Sélune River, a river Frank had crossed 69 years earlier, looking down to see a fish hanging from a riverside cafe, wishing that he had his fishing rod instead of a gun. Frank, Jeanne and their son Frankie sat in the sunshine, sharing a baguette, some charcuterie and a hunk of cheese. Simple, yet symbolic.

A year later, as I meet up with Frank and Jeanne again – this time to screen the film at Mountainfilm – I think back to these meals that I shared with them. The moments of laughter around tables. The moments of wisdom from Frank as he told a story while we waited for food to be served. The mornings where Jeanne would get a glint in her eye when she realized that, yes, once again she would get to eat a buttery croissant for breakfast.

Certain meals become the thread that tie our life stories together. We remember certain dishes, and time spent around a table with other people. Food brings us together, no matter where we are, no matter where we are from.

Frank and Jeanne went on to have a lot of experiences through food. For years they ran the Steamboat Inn in Southern Oregon, cooking meals for upwards of 60 people at a time. Frank and Jeanne treated their guests like they were family, breaking bread with visitors from around the world.

Food is a way to share love, and if Frank and Jeanne have taught me anything, it’s that you have to give love to the world. And what better way than through food?

Related on EcoSalon

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How Food Builds Strong Community: Foodie Underground

This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’ weekly column at EcoSalon: Foodie Underground, an exploration of what’s new and different in the underground movement, and how we make the topic of good food more accessible to everyone. More musings on the topic can be found at www.foodieunderground.com.

Image: Anna Brones

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If the American Dream has turned into a nightmare, how do we redefine success?

A friend posted an article recently titled “Welcome’ to the Sharing Economy – Also Known as the Collapse of the American Dream.” The author, Steven Strauss of Harvard Kennedy School, was criticizing the growth of “micro-entrepreneurs” (a word used by Thomas Friedman in an article praising the benefits of this type of system), the clearest example being Airbnb. Why go full entrepreneur and open a hotel if you can just rent out your room and be a micro-entrepreneur?  Friedman argues that this type of economy is the way of the future, but for Strauss, it’s the demise of the one thing that we’re all taught to go after: The American Dream.

But what is the American Dream?

While we all have an idea of what the American Dream is and represents, for the actual definition we go back to 1930, when writer and historian James Truslow Adams penned “The Epic of America.” In this book he defines the American Dream as the “dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement.”

While we may not learn the term right away, we are quickly taught the iconic symbols: a house with a white picket fence, a smiling family, a hardworking individual that starts with barely anything and works his or her way up. Success. Respect. Riches. That’s Strauss’ world. The one he is so afraid a collaborative economy will detract from.

But step back to look at the American Dream and it’s easy to see that much of it is more of an illusion than reality. Be born into a well-to-do family and your chances of being well-to-do yourself are much higher than those around you. Get stuck with a low paying job and these days, you might be hard pressed to ever get out of it. We’re stressed, we’re depressed and we’re overweight. Is that what we dream of? Not to be cliche or anything, but isn’t this a nightmare?

It’s time we redefined the American Dream. A “dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone” doesn’t have to mean that everyone should aspire to be CEOs of large corporations. We know exactly the impact that those large corporations have on the general public and environment. No, we need a new understanding of “better and richer and fuller,” one that takes into consideration our actual happiness and the health of our community.

Maybe it’s time we redefined our visions of success. In this new economy, where we aim to support each other, collaborate, and leave a better world for our children, here are seven different ways to redefine success.

1. Building Your Own Tiny Home

Take up less space, live off the grid and have more time for your friends and family. Yes, please.

2. Being Flexible

Stuck in an office from 9-to-5 is out, working long hours when you want to, for a cause you believe in, is in. Traditionalists may view this as inefficient slacking. Modernists will see this as the new way of getting things done, finding a balance between work and personal life that isn’t defined by a certain time of day.

3. Becoming More Self Sufficient

In an industrialized world, we have forgotten most of the tangible skills of our forefathers, all in the name of efficiency. Baking your own bread, mending your own clothes, coming together and taking care of a neighborhood vegetable garden – this isn’t vintage, this is the way of the future.

4. Considering Others and Building Community

We have cultivated a culture of poverty, and unless we take a serious step back to address steps to fix it, we can expect to continue to live in a world of haves and have-nots. The world isn’t about stepping on other people’s shoulders to make your own way tot the top, it’s about banding together to ensure that we’re all healthy and happy. Because a community loves, nurtures and supports. It’s time to accept that we can’t do it all alone.

5. Publishing Your Own Book

I don’t mean sending off proposals and waiting for huge publishers to call. I mean bleeding sweat and tears to do it all yourself. Fifty years ago this would have been unimaginable. Today, you’re only limited by your own determination.

6. Maintaining Your Health

You have one task every single day: keep yourself alive. Most of us however are literally killing ourselves with our diets and our sedentary lifestyles. It’s a privilege to be able to be active. Use your body and treat it well.

7. (Really) Enjoying Life

Why is it that we commend those around us for being busy, for working 90 hour weeks, for cramming in a salad in between meetings, while we scoff at the French and their two hour lunches and wonder how in God’s name those Europeans with their long vacations ever get anything done? Reality check people: a job is supposed to give you the means to live your life, not the other way around. Take a step back, slow down, enjoy the little things.

Related on EcoSalon

Tiny: A Story About Living Small

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The American Dream (Home), Deconstructed

Image: Inhabitat Blog

The post The New American Dream: 7 Different Definitions of Success appeared first on EcoSalon.

For all those environmentalists, humanitarians, and general do-gooders of the world, the future can seem wrought with strife. An overpopulated planet battling for scarce resources while the wealthy consume far and beyond their fair share.

But EcoSalon’s own Beth Buczynski presents a far more positive outlook in her new book “Sharing is Good. How to Save Money, Time and Resources through Collaborative Consumption.”

Buczynski highlights how human nature is actually built on the simple concept of sharing all the way back to the age of hunting and gathering, although our true nature has been clouded by visions of the individual and over-consumption. Her book is a welcomed return to collective consumption or the  value in sharing, reminding us that united we stand while individually we may falter when it comes to consumption.

Sharing is nothing new, according to Buczynski. Look at concepts like Ebay, Netflix, and public libraries, but now with more than 7 billion people living on Earth, it’s more important than ever. Collective consumption through sharing reduces our impact on the planet by reducing our individual consumption and it saves us money. For example, car-sharing, co-working (sharing office space), microlending, and sharing a nanny saved Sharable co-founder Neal Gorenflo $17,000 in household income in one year. That’s motivation enough to dive into collective consumption, and the book gives you the tools to do so.

My favorite aspect of the book is the painstaking detail it goes into to provide readers with avenues for sharing. It outlines resources in nearly every genre of collective consumption from goods to transportation, services, and travel.

You’ll learn how to share couture fashion, books, video games, meals, and cars. Gardeners can even borrow yard space and then share the produce loot once the garden has sprouted. EatFeastly.com connects passionate cooks to hungry eaters and ShareMyStorage.com is a social marketplace that connects those with spare space to those who need it. As an avid globe trotter, I can’t wait to take advantage of travel sharing programs like AirBnB and Couch Surfing.

Sharing is nothing new, but the advent of social media and thoughtful startups looking to capitalize on this growing marketplace have meant the concept of collective consumption is our answer to thriving in a world of overpopulation and diminished resources.

Find the book here on Amazon.

Disclosure: This book was supplied as a complimentary product for the review; no other compensation was provided.

Related on EcoSalon
How to Save Money and Support the Sharing Economy During the Holidays
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Alicia Silverstone Launches Breast Milk Sharing Program

Images by: New Society Publishers and Christina Gressianu.

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ColumnIf you want to better the community around you, start with food.

Over the last year I have been following Three Course Story, a project launched by my friend Rosie Spinks to document stories at the intersection of food and community.

The setting is St Paul’s Church West Hackney in London, where every Monday afternoon and Wednesday evening the community-based project North London Action for the Homeless (NLAH) serves up a three course vegetarian meal to whomever wants it, providing healthy, locally grown food to those who may not otherwise have access to it. A budget of £8 for two weeks of food is something most of us would have a hard time sustaining ourselves with, and it’s operations like this that keep people healthy and eating well.

But it’s not just the food that is the draw. As Rosie, herself a volunteer with NLAH, puts it “twice a week, dozens of people show up for dozens of different reasons to share a meal and some conversation.”

Three Course Story tells the story of the people, from recovering addicts to opera fanatics, that attend the meals and provide a deeper understanding of their own livelihoods and perceptions of the world around them.

What’s touching about the people highlighted is that though they often come for the free meals – many, but not all, are in situations of extreme hardship – but even for those individuals, it’s not just about the food. It’s about the community. It’s about sharing. “They need to eat but they need to talk to people too,” says Spinks.

Food is a means to conversation, it provides us the space to interact with fellow human beings, something that we so very much crave.

As one woman said during an interview:

“When you’re homeless—and I have been and so has Arthur, living in hostels and all that—you can’t underestimate the power of social contact. So coming here is important because we all live in different parts of London

You need a certain social contact that comes from meeting other people and realising that they’re all in the same boat. And also not eating on your own is very important.”

Ultimately, we care about food not just because it sustains but because it helps us be with others; no matter who we are we need social contact, crave community, and food makes that contact much more attainable. Cook a meal and there are few that will say no to sitting down around a table to eat it with you.

Food nourishes us, but so does being with people. As Theresa, one of the Three Course Story interviewees, mentioned in regards to the benefit of the shared meals, “It does definitely help me. I was actually thinking of not coming today because of the rain and everything but I suppose I was hungry so I made more of an effort to come. But I can leave here feeling a bit better because I’ve had a bit of socialising and a filling meal.”

Food is after all a building block for creating community. It’s a reason to have conversation. Talk with our neighbors. Connect with someone we otherwise would have never had an interaction with.

If you want to better the community around you, start with food. And don’t just serve it, share it.

To celebrate the completion of the Three Course Story project, it’s coming to life with an exhibition devoted to the stories and a fundraiser for NLAH with illustration prints for sale, held on October 1, 2013. If you’re in London, be sure to check it out: Three Course Story: An Exhibition.

Related on EcoSalon:

Foodie Underground: Local Food, Local Community

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This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’ weekly column at EcoSalon: Foodie Underground, an exploration of what’s new and different in the underground movement, and how we make the topic of good food more accessible to everyone. More musings on the topic can be found at www.foodieunderground.com.

Images: Three Course Story

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This is third post in our series on the Sharing Economy. Part One explained how sharing services can help you save money. Part Two highlighted ways collaborative consumption can reduce waste and our impact on the planet. Today’s installment will demonstrate how participation in the sharing economy can boost local economies and rebuild important community ties.

The sharing economy is more than swapping clothes or finding a cheap place to stay on vacation. While saving money and reducing waste are pleasant by-products of a sharing lifestyle, they’re not the end goal. The most exciting, promising, and truly revolutionary thing about moving from a “that’s mine” culture to a “this is ours” mentality is a refocusing of our attention on what’s really important: each other.

Embracing collaborative consumption, especially peer-to-peer sharing, requires us to acknowledge the wants, needs, talents, and resources of those around us. Consumerism teaches us that everyone is competition. We compare ourselves to our peers, using ownership of material possessions as a measuring stick of self-worth. That kind of judgement won’t last in the sharing economy.

When liberated from the burden of ownership, we gain access to knowledge and resources, become more active citizens, and are supported by a network of friends and neighbors who collaborate to solve problems. Simply put, when people share, communities become stronger. Here’s how:

1. Restores Relationships

Whether it’s made up of neighbors on a cul-de-sac, members of a church, or far flung friends on a social networking site, community is what makes sharing economy possible. In fact, some have even suggested calling it “the relationship economy.” Unfortunately, we’ve become very isolated as a society. Sure, we talk with coworkers and hang out with friends. But when’s the last time you greeted a passerby or borrowed a cup of sugar from your neighbor? We’ve become withdrawn, reluctant to share our thoughts and feelings, never mind our precious possessions. But in order to swap, barter, or rent, we must initiate contact, negotiate terms, and sometimes, go out of our way for our fellow humans. This exercises our relationship muscle, and helps us reconnect with those we previously ignored.

2. Creates Stability

Whether it’s debt, unemployment, illness, or family issues, our communities are full of unstable families, just barely making it from day to day. When times our tough, collaborative consumption reminds us to utilize the wealth we have, and share it with others. Lending libraries, food swaps, ride sharing, nanny sharing, time banks and community supported agriculture allow those with limited liquid assets to access tools, food, transportation, child care, and perhaps even work with dignity. These sharing services require a small investment on the part of each member so that all can reap a big reward. Participants realize they are not alone, and that sharing is a shortcut to accessing what they need.

Generates Solidarity

When people know and share with each other, they become unified. Instead of fearful isolation, sharing communities live with openness, generosity, and solidarity. Once we remember how awesome it is to be a part of each others’ lives, we’re more willing to become involved in other aspects of our communities as well. Being part of a community means sharing responsibility as well as rewards. The sharing economy encourages us to crowdsource solutions to community-wide problems as well as our own. All over the world, citizens are reengaging with their governments, looking for ways to get involved in the planning of budgets, support of local business, and development of neighborhoods. Sharing forces us to realize our similarities, and helps organize our efforts to realize common goals.

Image: pushthisbutton

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Fueled by a rapid rise in collaborative consumption companies, the Sharing Economy has been hailed as “the next big thing” and one of “10 ideas that will change the world”. But what the heck is it, and why should we care? This is the first in a short series of posts that will explain why everyone’s so excited about sharing, and how it can save you money, time, and even rejuvenate your social life.

Every day, we waste energy, space, and money, because we’re obsessed with the idea of owning things. Most of these things see about 10 minutes of use before we move on to the next “must have” item. The things we do use on a daily basis are built to break, and when they do, we toss them in the trash on our way out the door to buy replacements.

In the sharing economy, access is more important than ownership. It’s not the CD we want, it’s the joy of listening to the music. It’s not the cordless drill we need, but the hole it makes. Collaborative consumption companies make it easy to pay a little bit to gain access to what we need without the high cost of buying it or the burden of maintaining it. The sharing economy focuses our attention on connection and collaboration, turning neighbors into a support system and wasted assets into affordable solutions.

There are two basic types of collaborative consumption: B2C (business-to-consumer) and P2P (peer-to-peer). B2C sharing services typically operate like a normal company, where you pay a fee to access a shared resource. P2P sharing services exist to help people share what they’ve got with each other. P2p sharing can take the form of renting, bartering, or swapping, but anyway you slice it, it’s by people for people.

Since we’re all watching our budgets these days, we decided to kick off the series with a selection of stellar sharing services that can save you money without sacrifice. If you’ve got a story about how the sharing economy has helped you save money, please share it in the comments!

1. Parents

Why buy new when your kids only grow out of it in six months? thredUP is a online P2P consignment store where you can find gently used, brand name clothing for a fraction of the price. reCrib does the same thing for gear, providing a marketplace where parents can list and purchase everything from baby swings to toys. If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, gather up a few friends to share a nanny or host a baby food swap.

2. Entrepreneurs

These days everyone’s got an idea for a start-up but no one has enough capital. Coworking spaces are communities where location-independent professionals gather to share expenses and talent. Most are highly social, a hotbed of collaboration, and offer printers, conference rooms, and lots of free coffee. Need to brush up on your HTML skills but don’t have the time or money for a college course? Skillshare lets you learn just about anything from anyone, MaestroMarket lets you pick the brain of industry experts, and crowdfunding platforms give you access to much needed dollars when the time is right.

3. Fashionistas

You know how you love to borrow outfits from your best friend? Well now imagine you have thousands of best friends, all with big closets full of awesome clothes. Rent the Runway works directly with over 170 top designers so you can rent dresses, accessories, and more for just a fraction of the price. Bag Borrow or Steal uses the same concept, only with top brand handbags, jewelry, watches, and more. Looking for fashion you can keep? Attend a clothing swap or browse the P2P swapping site Swapstyle.com.

4. Travelers

Seeing new places and experiencing new cultures is life-changing, albeit a pricey adventure. Just like clothing swaps give you access to a community closet, travel sharing sites can give you access to the houses, guest beds, cars, and local knowledge of friendly people around the world.P2p lodging marketplaces like Airbnb let you rent a loft in New York, an artists’ pad in San Francisco, or a villa in Italy, all for a tiny fraction of what it would cost commercially. Once you’ve arrived, car sharing services like Zipcar, RelayRides, and Getaround can put you in touch with the perfect set of wheels, or if you prefer to keep it non-gassy, look for a local bike sharing program. Believe it or not, there are even sites designed to help people swap houses for the summer or for keeps!

Image: Phillip Taylor PT

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Owning? Sharing might be better for you in the long run.

We’re always recommending you move your unwanted goods out the door, decluttering both your thoughts and your living space – but what if there’s a more socially useful and profitable thing to do with your unwanted belongings? Why not rent them out?

Welcome to the Sharing Economy. It’s here, it’s everywhere and it’s seemingly unstoppable. What is it? In the words of Roger Yu of USA Today:

“…this movement represents the newly cemented intersection of online social networking, mobile technology, the minimalist movement and heightened penny-pinching brought on by lingering economic uncertainties.”

If you have something of value to another person – an item, a skill, a place in your car on the way to work, a spare stretch of driveway, a room for the night – you have your very own tradeable commodity to offer in an increasing number of tightly focused digital marketplaces. The most famous examples are of course Ebay and Craigslist (arguably the founders of the movement), and it’s taken a while for investors to see the potential in supporting niche markets and for the arrival of technology that makes such ventures affordable and sustainable.

But look at the number of companies successfully embracing this philosophy right now. Airbnb and Roomarama for booking private accomodation. Zimride for filling someone’s unused car seat in their commute to work. RelayRides or Getaround for booking a car to get to & from work. Parkcirca or Parkatmyhouse to make use of someone’s spare driveway space. Loosecubes to grab unused office space. TaskRabbit for running just about every type of household errand you can think of.

Or how about Dopios? It’s a new startup designed to put travelers in touch with regional expertise. Want a tour guide with decades of local knowledge? Want to experience a traditional local meal? How about a beginner’s language lesson? Log into the site, browse through the registered locals  and book an experience, tailored for your comfort. Its current focus is Athens, Greece but it’s shortly expanding to San Francisco, London, Istanbul and Rio de Janeiro.

As with eBay, the service providers take a cut – but the rest of the revenue goes into the pockets of the people doing the work, providing them with an unusual source of supplementary income. In places hard-hit by economic woes, that could be the difference between struggling and keeping it together. Does it discourage spending, a big no-no for the governments of faltering economies? Not so, says Rob Atkinson, an economist & president of The Information Technology & Innovation Foundation:

“People can now spend on things that are of value to them,” he says. “Why buy a chain saw when you use it once a year? If we share a chain saw, we have the value of having a chain saw, and we use the money to create jobs in other industries. So the economy is better off.”

And a further requirement of using these services is trust, on both sides.  That’s why these companies rely so heavily on social networks – it may be easy to set up a Facebook or Twitter account, but it’s difficult to fake the web footprint of a legitimate internet user. Nevertheless, all companies have security measures in place. (In the case of Dopios, all locals are interviewed in person by the site administrators).

And if the net result is that huge numbers of people learn that strangers can be trusted…that’s certainly a message worth sharing.

Further reading: America’s New Business Model: Sharing – Roger Yu, USA Today.

Image: idleformat,

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My lovely, celebrity-style dressing room is a spare bedroom I stole in the house, a spare that once housed a maple crib, green nursing glider and armoire of precious, spit-up stained Baby Gap dresses on mini-hangers.

Today, it’s my own little retail Mecca (organic, of course). But I do allow my daughters to visit and check out the blouses and shoe rack, and yes, even borrow on occasion. That sort of thing was taboo when I was growing up. Moms were moms.  Friends were the ones loaning stuff.

My own stylish mother (here with me and Grandma Zelda) towered over me at 5-foot-9 (not counting the beehive do) and always wore at least a size 14. She wasn’t a Laker like Julia Child and her sister, Dorothy, but when she got married, she wore flats so not to surpass 6-foot dad.

I hung out in Mom’s cavernous walk-in closet while she was away at luncheons. But no way could I actually borrow one of those gowns since they hung on me like a puddled curtain. I also was drawn to her off-limits, pointy, size-10 pumps, dyed to match her Jacky suits.

I was the fourth child and the runt of the litter – considerably shorter and smaller than the rest. (My theory is mother smoked a few more cigs and sipped a few more martinis when she was preggers with me.) But to be fair, I’m also considering the DNA link to my small, Polish ancestors.

Cut to my gorgeous teenage daughter with a great sense of style, who caught up with me in stature a few years back. I provide her with her own little Nordstrom Rack down the hall. I take full credit for cultivating her sense of entitlement since I have been most gracious about loaning her items, and have only kvetched a few times when they weren’t returned on time. She is very responsible and that counts.

Combined, Syd and I have a substantial inventory. I’m proud to say a chunk of it is the ski apparel we share for our annual Mommy-Sydney ski weekends in Lake Tahoe.

I was glad to squeeze into a pair of my daughter’s skinny jeans for my birthday outing with friends in August, and only felt a pinch after the second drink. You dirty martini, you!

How does the sharing work? Sometimes we fall for the same cardigan and it can make more sense during hard times to buy one to share and take turns – you know, like college co-eds on a strict budget. Call it the The Daughterhood of the Traveling Pants.

I also prefer to loan rather than buy her a dress for the countless B’Nei Mitzvah parties and other events she seems to attend. If she wears something of mine, it feels like new to her, even though I’ve worn it a dozen times.

This whole lending thing is why those smart couture rental shops, like Boutiqueville in Chicago, do so well. Why own something costly when you can rent for the occasion? When the high is over you send it back. Thank you, it was a great date, but onto other matches.

I should point out it isn’t just us girls sharing the wealth. My daughter also gets warm and fuzzy about wearing her dad’s old sweaters. I seriously think it brings her closer to him in a very sweet way.

Guess teens have been burrowing in oversize wool since Ann-Margret sang “How Lovely to be a Woman” in Bye Bye Birdie. He doesn’t mind her using the old sweaters, or at least, has never complained.

I got to wondering if other kids and parents are comfortable with community closeting or if most families are fiercely territorial about their closets. It certainly requires trust and respect, and the right kind of green deodorant.

I did a bit of research online and found little has been written on the subject. Hurray for me!

But I did stumble upon an interesting post on How to Share Clothes with a Cross-Dressing Husband.

Okay, the ground rules killed me: Killed me! They included keeping his paws out of your underwear drawer, making him replace anything stretched, torn or stained, and drawing the line when it comes to your most precious blouses or skirts (i.e. the ones with price tags still attached). The helpful primer also suggested shopping together to make sure you have the same taste. Oy!

None of this would work in my marriage. My husband is a large man who prefers high-wasted, baggy slacks to hip jeans. If he were a cross-dresser, he’d still be swishing around in those Dean Martin pants.

I do like some of his Oxford shirts and could see slipping into one after a post-sex shower and cocktail in bed, but since we don’t schedule those kind of Hollywood encounters (we don’t eat Chinese out of the box either), it’s all just another fantasy, like wearing my mother’s Yves Saint Laurent caftans.

I do have friends who are married to dainty men with little feet and excellent taste, and I could see trading with one of those fellows, swapping Indian tunics and Moroccan slides for a tux and velvet slippers when those Victor-Victoria mood strikes.

Of course, the well-dressed gay husband is top drawer when it comes to swapping, assuming he would cooperate. His rules might be too stringent for even me. I sort my closet by color but not by texture and season and don’t iron a thing. Crisp is not in my vocabulary.

No, I think I’ll stick with sharing with the girls, my wonderful girls, grabbing a wrap for Lauren when leaving for a party, pulling a dress for Sydney for a Bat Mitzvah. Selecting a hand bag that works. Maybe a trinket or earrings to tie it all together.

Does sharing benefit my daughters more than me? Well, naturally. It goes with the territory when you’re a consummate stylist and mother – who still misses dressing her dolls.

This is the sixth installment in Luanne’s column, Life in the Green Lane.

Main Image: In Style

Image One: Luanne Bradley

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