Are you a fan of “Orange is the New Black?” Of course you are. Well, the Netflix series is gearing up for its third season, and the streaming service just released a series trailer to get you ready.

Relive past crazy storylines and get ready for the few season by watching the video below. You’ll be able to stream season three of “Orange is the New Black” on June 12.

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The post Get Pumped for the New ‘Orange is the New Black’ Season [Video] appeared first on EcoSalon.

Give + Take, the world’s first clothing swap boutique, is taking the sharing economy to a whole new level with the help of Alysia Reiner of “Orange is the New Black” – and it’s one giant leap for womankind.

Alysia Reiner, best known as Fig on the Netflix hit series “Orange is the New Black”, recently hosted the launch party for Santa Monica’s Give + Take, the world’s first clothing swap boutique – and she’s got nothing but mad love for this revolutionary new way for women to shop.

“Give + Take Swap Boutique is the best-kept secret in Los Angeles,” says Reiner, who will guest on ABC’s “How to Get Away with Murder” this fall. “I love being a member – it’s especially great when you’re rotating looks for the red carpet. I bring great stuff in, and take amazing stuff out!”

A woman’s closet is personal, making Give + Take not just a boutique, but a community. The event was the first of a series of monthly parties for members and guests planned by owner Celina Amaya  along with new partner Rachel Lincoln Sarnoff, the super-fashionista behind Mommy Greenest. Staff are on hand to share style suggestions while members score the duds they need for any occasion – sans the wallet-gouging pricetag.

It’s like Rent-the-Runway for everyday life: Have a party on Saturday night and nothing to wear? Swap for a dress at lunch, look fabulous in it all night, have it cleaned on Sunday morning and exchange it that afternoon. Find a pair of jeans you just can’t live without? Then don’t – anything you take home, you can keep and wear to your heart’s content.

Not only is the process fun, but super simple: The clothing and accessories at Give + Take are valued at 100 percent of their original cost and converted into points. For example, a dress that was purchased for $100 would “cost” 6 points in the boutique. If you brought in the dress, you’d get 6 points of credit to use in-store, and if you want to take it home, you’d need 6 points to do so.

Points can also be accumulated for higher-ticketed items, for instance bringing in two $50 dresses and swapping them for a $100 pair of shoes – except for items marked “1” which can only be swapped for other “1” items.

As a member, not only do you save oodles of money on designer brands like BCBG, Gucci, Marc Jacobs, Prada and Zac Posen, but you help the environment in a big way: There are 160 million American women spending an average of $60 on clothes every month while dumping six pounds of textile waste into landfills. If every woman in America swapped instead of shopped for just one month, not only would we save $10 billion, but one billion pounds of landfill waste. (Seriously.)

Ready to refresh your wardrobe? For more info on joining the ultimate clothing swap, check out their fabulous website:
www.giveplustake.com

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Image: Give + Take

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ColumnSexual shame dominates our lives — even when we’re not consciously thinking about sex. Shame is so overwhelming that it can feel impossible to extricate oneself from the ubiquitous, all-consuming spiral of it.

Sexual shame is not just what happens in the act of sex, or post-coitally. It’s not the just the “walk of shame” or guilt about casual sex that you wish you could un-have. It’s something you carry around with you when you commute to work, when you’re hanging out with your friends, when you’re relaxing with your family – it’s always there, lurking in the background, until you consciously decide to kill it off.

There are almost too many sources of shame to list in one article, but I’ll try. There is the most obvious kind of shame – the kind that happens after a sexual assault. This brand of shame is ostensibly permitted, at least in clinical settings. Not all women come forward after rape, however – so it’s only the few who are allowed to work through the trauma. One-in-four women will be raped in their lifetime – a staggering statistic that elicits a tsunami of shame.

Yet sexual shame is also straight-up body shame. It’s waking up in the morning, looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror, and thinking, “Ugh”. It’s feeling too old or too ugly to experience love. It’s repressing your anger because you’re afraid of offending a partner or potential partner. It’s the sense that you must always be a good girl, even if you’re a grown-ass woman.

Sexual shame is not asking for sex when you’re horny, because you feel too fat or not pretty enough. It’s not asking your partner to go down on you because you worry that there’s something wrong with your vulva – maybe it’s not “normal.” It’s being in your head when your partner does go down on you – worrying whether you’re good enough to deserve that pleasure, wondering why you’re not feeling enough pleasure, worrying if you’re moaning loud enough to make your partner feel like you’re having a good time – instead of just having a good time. Worrying, on the other hand, that you’re moaning too loud.

On the flip side, there is not speaking up about what you don’t want, also born of shame. We want to be pleasing, even as we’re afraid to ask to be pleased. We’ll show up for sex when we’re not in the mood, because we’re afraid of alienating our partner. There is also the shame you might feel after (or while) looking at porn. There is post-orgasmic shame.

There is slut-shaming, still everywhere, even as we fight against it. We’re still damned if we do and damned if we don’t as the Madonna-Whore complex rules most of our social interactions and messaging from pop culture. No matter how progressive we are, even if we’re atheists, there is still the sexual shaming born of religion – as active, or perhaps more active, than ever. The ever-present war on women seems to dominate every election cycle. As I said — too many kinds of shame to list in this space.

Our culture is saturated by sex – it’s in our imagery and our innuendo. It dominates our advertising and films, our viral videos and Netflix queues, our nightly news — our everything. Despite the constant stream of sex, almost none of it (save a few daring projects like “Orange is the New Black” & “Masters of Sex”) honestly depict real (and diverse) women’s sex lives. Women are still overwhelmingly portrayed as objects for consumption by male viewers. There are precious few representations of our desires on the big and small screen – the spaces where we tend to work out our unconscious drives.

What is the cost of all of this unremitting shame? Self-shaming robs you of pleasure – which is really just a way of robbing you of your life force. I believe that shame can actually make you sick, but the good news is that reclaiming pleasure can renew you — body, mind and soul.

So after a lifetime of pervasive sexual shame, how do we purge it? You may want to change the rules of patriarchy, and may be actively working toward that — but it’s not enough. In order to disentangle yourself from the twisted mess that is the shame industrial complex, you must ask yourself what you really want. Peel it back, layer by layer. Let your fantasy life be the lab in which you discover what might turn you on if you weren’t shaped by misogynistic images.

Sexuality is deeply complex, and I’m not telling you to reject any part of yours. There are moments that shaped you from childhood and young adulthood, and some of those, even if they come from what you might objectively consider harmful or negative — they might still be yours. This is yet another level of shame which must be purged. There is nothing wrong with any fetish, or anything that turns you on — as long as consent and communication rule.

Ending sexual shame has everything to do with claiming your authentic desire. Even if you know how to give yourself an orgasm, you probably don’t have enough of them. If you’re a typical heterosexual woman, you come to partnered sex without the expectation of having one, because most of us experience clitoral orgasms, not vaginal ones. And because so many straight men don’t put a lot of thought into our anatomy, and properly pleasing us — many of us give up. If you want to claim your desire, you have to be brave enough to speak up.

Here are some daily practices that can help you expurgate shame, and wholeheartedly embrace pleasure:

• Daily orgasms via solo sex
• Orgasmic meditation with a partner or at a workshop
• Daily sensuality practices
• Tantra

If you begin claiming what’s yours in other areas of your life, standing up, being strong, not wilting in situations where you’d ordinarily give up — you’ll empower yourself to stand strong for your sex life. I was incredibly inspired by Rebecca Traister’s admonition to women this week — that we, in the words of our hero Tina Fey, say “I don’t f**king care if you like it” the next time we’re coddled or infantilized by men.

Figure out what is YOURS, not your partner’s. This doesn’t mean you will stop pleasing your partner. If the person you’re married to or sleeping with is threatened by your self-discoveries, rather than turned on by them — I’d suggest that you might reconsider that relationship. Come to the bedroom with new revelations about your needs, new demands, new fantasies, new ways to role-play, new positions – and communicate about them. That’s where it starts — but only you know where it goes from there.

Join Stefanie on a journey to the authentic heart of your sexual self with Project 40: Sadism, Masochism, Sexuality & Shadow, an online 40-day tour through the heart of your psyche via intensive journaling, ritual, and guided daily emails. 

Got a question for Stefanie? Email stefanie at ecosalon dot com, and she’ll answer it in the next Sexual Healing column.

Keep in touch with Stefanie on Twitter: @ecosexuality

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image: youngdoo

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For those of you going through “Orange in the New Black” withdrawal, here are 23 of the best quotes from the show.

I don’t know about you, but I’m already jonesing for new episodes of “Orange Is The New Black” – a dramedy about Piper Chapman, who’s serving a year in prison for drug trafficking (just in case there’s someone out there who has yet to binge-watch).

One of the reasons the show is so ah-amazing is because of its great writing – more specifically, its great one-liners. OITNB is by far one of the most quotable shows online, and while it’s impossible to list all of the best quotes, I’ve managed to whittle the list down to 23. (Don’t mention it.)

To keep you from foaming at the mouth until next summer’s season 3 debut, here are 23 of the best quotes from “Orange Is The New Black”:

1. “Maybe I’ll Pinterest. I hear that’s a thing.” -Morello
2. “It’s so disappointing being underestimated as you age.” -Irma
3. “Do not defend your boner to me right now.” -Piper
4. “She a lesbian. They lesbianing together.” -Pennsatucky
5. “Love is not an excuse.” -Red
6. “Lesbian request denied.” -Healy
7. “I always miss you until you’re here.” -Nicky
8. “I am feeling so single today.” -Boo
9. “I threw my pie for you.” -Crazy Eyes
10. “You seem so calm. Are you a murderer?” -Brook
11. “By all means, attribute my legitimate feelings of sadness to mensies.” -Piper
12. “Ugh. People.” -Red
13. “Lesbians can be very dangerous. It’s the testosterone.” -Healy
14. “You don’t go Jessica Simpson when you’ve got Rihanna.” -Morello
15. “I want the kind of job where I could just chill, you know?” -Poussey
16. “Bitches gots to learn.” -Piper
17. “Another layer of icing on a shit cake doesn’t make it taste good.” -Nicky
18. “Husbands are overrated. They’re as useless as children.” -Red
19. “It’s a metaphor, you potato with eyes!” -Pennsatucky
20. “I like privacy, but not alone privacy.” -Nicky
21. “All problems are boring until they’re your own.” -Red
22. “This is more depressing than a Tori Amos cover band.” -Boo
23. “This year, I’m loving someone who deserves me. Me.” -Crazy Eyes

What do you think are the best quotes from OITNB?

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Image: Onesharp

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ColumnSummer is here and it’s time to kick it feminist style—here’s what to watch, hear and see this summer!

Binge Watch: “Orange Is the New Black”

June 6. My excitement about this date (aka: TODAY) cannot be measured with existing technology. “Orange Is the New Black” season two is going to hit Netflix and I am going to hit the couch. I have a love/hate relationship with this new trend of releasing an entire season in one day so we can all binge watch. I feel like you miss some of the nuance and texture—like reading a book just for the plot and skimming over all of the descriptive text the writer worked so hard to create. On the other hand, I can spend 13 hours with the women of Litchfield! Swirl, swirl…

Go to the Movies: “Obvious Child”

An abortion ro-co? I’m in! Usually, when a character has an abortion in a movie, she has to pay. Not “pay” like write a check to Planned Parenthood, but pay on some deeper karmic level. She has to lose something—her mind, her ability to have kids later in life when she’s ready, her relationship, her dignity, her life, etc. Word on the street is that “Obvious Child” paints a realistic picture of what abortion looks like for many women: It’s something that happens but doesn’t have to be the thing that defines you. (Now playing)

Go to a Show: Pussy Riot, Miley and More 

Am I really saying this? Yes. I am. Miley Cyrus is touring this summer and, try as I might, I can’t help but be tempted want to get tickets. From saying she’s one of the world’s biggest feminists to declaring that, really, she’s just all about equality for everyone, Miley is interesting. But I get it. She’s not for everyone and, if you can’t take one more twerk, hit Riot Fest and check out Pussy Riot, Tegan and Sara and lots of other great musicians who won’t leave you feeling conflicted about your values. (Lineups vary by city)

Read a Book: “Mountain to Mountain: A Journey of Adventure and Activism for the Women of Afghanistan”

I can’t wait to read Shannon Galpin’s book about the work she’s been doing to launch an Afghan women’s national cycling team. Galpin started her non-profit, Mountain2Mountain to connect communities and cultures and work to empower women living in conflict zones. The name also ties to the subtext of an old Persian proverb, “No matter how high the mountain, there’s always a road.” And on that road? Women on bicycles! Culturally, it’s been an uphill battle, but she and her team of dedicated volunteers are working hard to make her dream a reality. Check out Galpin‘s memoir when it’s released by St. Martin’s on September 16.

What else should we see, read and listen to this summer?

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That Happened is Libby Lowe’s weekly column for EcoSalon analyzing media, news and pop culture through a feminist lens. Keep in touch with Libby @LibbyLowe.

Image: Federico Mauro Creative Commons

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ColumnGratitude is a big deal this time of year. Here are five things that have happened this year (so far!) that I am grateful for.

1. Wendy Davis Secured her Spot as a National Figure

My personal Superbowl took place June 27 when Wendy Davis tied on her pink sneakers and performed a 13-hour filibuster to prevent the passing of an incredibly restrictive anti-choice law in Texas. The bad news is that, as of November 20, The Supreme Court cleared the way for Texas to enforce strict abortion regulations that will close at least one third of the state’s clinics. The good news is that Davis’ attempt to protect the women of Texas made her a national figure and she’s running for Governor. Stand with Wendy!

2. Ash Beckham’s TED Talk Went Viral

Ash Beckham’s TED Talk, Coming Out of Your Closet, is so much more than a talk about a how a woman handles being mistaken for a boy. It is a beautiful take on facing the fear of being yourself and sharing yourself with the world. Since her talk has picked up steam, Beckham has used her popularity for good. She shares inspiring coming out stories of all kinds on her Facebook page.

3. “Orange Is the New Black” Brought ALL of the Awesome

The new Netflix trend of releasing entire seasons of a series at once is magical for a binger like me. This year brought us the long-awaited return of “Arrested Development” and, I think, one of the most socially interesting and entertaining shows of the year, “Orange Is the New Black.” With great roles for women, women of color and trans actresses, I am on edge waiting for season two.

4. Lululemon Exposed

See-through pants led to the exposure of Chip Wilson as a total douche as he fat-shamed women on national TV—and then Stephen Colbert shamed him right back. This brand has irked me for a long time (for eco-washing, Ayn Rand-loving and general creepiness), but I’m hoping that this year’s PR mess will be the last straw for many women. Let’s all set a mantra together, shall we? “My values are more important than a cute ass. I will not shop at Lululemon. I will buy woman-friendly, eco-friendly yoga and athletic clothes.”

5. Gay Marriage Picked Up Steam

We’re long overdue for total marriage equality in this country, but some states caught up this year, including my home state, Illinois. We’re number 16!

To be sure, there are a lot of things to hate on right now, too. It has been a truly shit year for rape culture and abortion—and don’t even get me going on Return of the Kings. But I will save that list for Christmas.

Image: Ash Beckham

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The post Gratitude and Feminism: That Happened appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnMy love affair with Netflix’s new series “Orange Is the New Black”

“Orange Is the New Black,” released on Netflix last week, is “Weeds” meets the “L-Word” meets a less violent “Oz“, and I love it. As many of you know, I watch terrible TV without (much) shame, but I also watch some shows with total pride, telling anyone who will listen to get on board.

“Orange Is the New Black” is this kind of show—meaning, if you stop reading this and go watch it now, I’m proud to be on your side.

Taylor Schilling stars as Piper Chapman, a white, upper-middle-class woman who lands in prison for her involvement in drug trafficking ten years ago in her post-Smith College lesbian days. Oh, and this show from “Weeds” creator Jenji Kohan is based on a true story.

Schilling brings an Aimee Mann quality to Chapman. We meet her as a delicate, privileged, woman who is engaged to a man by the time she’s sentenced. She gets dropped into a world she has no skills to navigate, one occupied by people who haven’t had a life as easy as she has had. Whiteness and wealth play a big part in how Chapman is treated, both by guards and other inmates.

The show offers a lot of commentary on sex, race and class and, so far, it’s really well done. (I’m only five episodes in because I have a job and need to sleep. What I really want to do is crank up the A/C and slam through the series.)

What makes Chapman relatable to me, aside from the Smith College thing, is that she is clearly freaking out and totally devastated, but tries to avoid throwing herself a pity party. Relatable might be me being generous to myself. I would totally have a pity party, but I like to think I’d try to handle it as she did, holding back tears and trying to act normal and, in my better moments, accepting the fact that I had done this to myself.

As she sets off to jail, she does what many white ladies who insist on organic produce would—she keeps it light by saying things like, “I’m going to get really buff in there.” In an early episode after a foot-in-mouth situation leaves her hungry, she thinks back to her experience with the master cleanse. We can see that she’s thinking: I starved myself voluntarily? What the fuck was I thinking?

While the show is mostly from Chapman’s point of view, it’s the other characters who shine. It would have been easy to create a cast of caricatures, but that doesn’t happen here. Lea DeLaria nails it as Big Boo, the resident butch. I am thrilled to see Natasha Lyonne on screen again with her weirdly winning combination of frankness and warmth. One of the most interesting characters in terms of how others relate to her is Sophia, a transgender woman who does hair for the inmates, played by transgender actress Laverne Cox.

Reemerging on the scene is Laura Prepon. Gone is her signature red hair from her “That ’70s Show” days—and most of her eyebrows. The over-plucked early ’90s throwback brows play strangely with the glasses, but it all comes together to transform her into someone who belongs—but doesn’t.

Belonging is a huge theme in this show—starting with the question of whether each woman belongs in jail. Interwoven into each episode are the stories of how all of these women ended up incarcerated. Some have been unable to escape fates that were seemingly predetermined by class, race and circumstance; others made bad choices out of desperation. Some are just criminals.

What’s interesting about this approach is that, as viewers, we don’t hear the version they would share with Chapman or each other. We get glimpses into their lives that aren’t filtered through anyone else’s lens or edited by the character to shape a listener’s opinion. Instead, we’re transported back to their lives on the outside in flashbacks.

Another interesting theme is family. Who is your family while you’re locked up? How do you create a new family? Who will wait for you on the outside? Who can you trust, if anyone?

From guard gropings to relationship craziness, this show really has it all in terms of drama. But it has so much more in the way it explores classism, racism and sexism. I only hope that as “Orange Is the New Black” progresses, it doesn’t go the way of “Weeds” and turn from something thought-provoking and layered into something campy and over the top.

Image: Netflix

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