23 Best Quotes From ‘Orange Is the New Black’

Orange Is The New Black

For those of you going through “Orange in the New Black” withdrawal, here are 23 of the best quotes from the show.

I don’t know about you, but I’m already jonesing for new episodes of “Orange Is The New Black” – a dramedy about Piper Chapman, who’s serving a year in prison for drug trafficking (just in case there’s someone out there who has yet to binge-watch).

One of the reasons the show is so ah-amazing is because of its great writing – more specifically, its great one-liners. OITNB is by far one of the most quotable shows online, and while it’s impossible to list all of the best quotes, I’ve managed to whittle the list down to 23. (Don’t mention it.)

To keep you from foaming at the mouth until next summer’s season 3 debut, here are 23 of the best quotes from “Orange Is The New Black”:

  1. “Maybe I’ll Pinterest. I hear that’s a thing.” -Morello
  2. “It’s so disappointing being underestimated as you age.” -Irma
  3. “Do not defend your boner to me right now.” -Piper
  4. “She a lesbian. They lesbianing together.” -Pennsatucky
  5. “Love is not an excuse.” -Red
  6. “Lesbian request denied.” -Healy
  7. “I always miss you until you’re here.” -Nicky
  8. “I am feeling so single today.” -Boo
  9. “I threw my pie for you.” -Crazy Eyes
  10. “You seem so calm. Are you a murderer?” -Brook
  11. “By all means, attribute my legitimate feelings of sadness to mensies.” -Piper
  12. “Ugh. People.” -Red
  13. “Lesbians can be very dangerous. It’s the testosterone.” -Healy
  14. “You don’t go Jessica Simpson when you’ve got Rihanna.” -Morello
  15. “I want the kind of job where I could just chill, you know?” -Poussey
  16. “Bitches gots to learn.” -Piper
  17. “Another layer of icing on a shit cake doesn’t make it taste good.” -Nicky
  18. “Husbands are overrated. They’re as useless as children.” -Red
  19. “It’s a metaphor, you potato with eyes!” -Pennsatucky
  20. “I like privacy, but not alone privacy.” -Nicky
  21. “All problems are boring until they’re your own.” -Red
  22. “This is more depressing than a Tori Amos cover band.” -Boo
  23. “This year, I’m loving someone who deserves me. Me.” -Crazy Eyes

What do you think are the best quotes from OITNB?

Related on EcoSalon

30 Best Quotes on Change

30 Best Quotes on Living Small

40 Best Quotes About Solitude

Image: Onesharp

Krissy Brady

Krissy Brady is a women’s health + lifestyle writer who’s so out of shape, it’s like she has the innards of an 80-year-old. Instead of learning how to crochet, she decided to turn her emotional baggage into a writing career (genius, no?). You can follow her shenanigans on Twitter (you know, if you want).