All I Want for My Birthday Is Less Awareness

Honey appreciation? Alpaca fur gratitude? Tinnitus awareness? Start Googling and you’ll soon find every month is everything month.


It’s September, my birthday month, provenance of the astrological Virgin (oh, hilarity), inaugural back-to-school bane of parents everywhere, potential promise of a sliver of summer in San Francisco, most likely the arrival of some constellation I cannot identify, and so much more. So very, very much more.

September, for example, is not only the annual celebration of my own fabulous existence, it is also Recycle Glass Month. According to a presser from one Ed of Recycle Glass Month, who would like us to know that “Recycle Glass Month was created following the success of Recycle Glass Week in 2010, which resulted in 55 events in 20 states generating 22 tons of collected glass,” glass recycling gatherings are kind of a big deal.

I like this. Geek debates over the true environmental cost of recycling glass versus plastic aside (and I’m firmly in Camp Glass, if you care), I had no idea there was a glass recycling tour going on strong the likes of your reasonably profitable ’80s hair band. Kudos, Ed.

But then I learned from our marketing manager and resident foodie, Anna Brones, that it’s also National Honey Month. And that while our savvy and sassy beauty editor, Katherine Butler, will be dishing green beauty tips in Boulder with our Yoga Journal pals and EcoSalon readers at an organic wine ‘n cheese soiree later this month (don’t worry, we’ll post details soon, Boulder babes), she’ll be missing out on the celebration of National Alpaca Farm Days. As will I, because while I am all for local, natural fibers from the obviously cuter versions of camels, it’s also Chicken Month, Baby Safety Month, Self Improvement Month, Better Breakfast Month, and National Courtesy Month. Frankly, I find the last to be eminently conscious, if foregone. I could be focusing on the wrong priorities, however, because it’s Blueberry Popsicle month, and who am I to argue with antioxidants?

It’s also Piano Month and Classical Music month; lovely. The fact is there is simply no shortage of awareness one can have no matter which month one is currently ambling, consciously, semi-consciously or unconsciously through. There’s probably even a day for celebrating prepositions at the end of sentences. Which I excel at.

It goes on:

September 3rd: Labor Day, just past (I labored, how about you?)

September 9th: Grandparents Day

September 11th: Patriot Day (They really couldn’t think of something more appropriate? No. This is Congress we’re talking about.)

September 16th: Stepfamily Day

September 17th: Constitution Day and Week (Sure to delight Michele Bachmann; perhaps she’ll set aside some time to read the Constitution during this sacred period.)

September 21st: International Day of Peace (Sounds cool.)

September 22nd: First Day of Autumn (Possibly the advent of summer in San Francisco, fingers crossed!)

September 28th: Native American Day (Why isn’t this a federal holiday?)

September 30th: Gold Star Mother Day (Grant me a millenialism: OMG WTF.)

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have appreciative holidays, and events about appreciative holidays, and lots more awareness generally. If we can have entire conferences devoted to furries and trekkies and porn stars, by all means, bring on the alpaca and honey. Or peat and loam. Maybe gojis and hypermiling? The possibilities are infinite, and I’m, like, deeply aware of this. So I’m not complaining. But while we’re at it, why can’t September be National Sara Without an H Month? Think about it.

Image: sudhamshu