Better Living Through Publicists: Total Betch Edition

A behind-the-screen look at the consistently ridiculous inbox of a writer.

Ever wonder how Star knows which celebrities partied at which Vegas nightclub? Thank a publicist. Ever ponder how an editor knew about an exciting new product launch? Thank a publicist. Yes, publicists are always ready to helpfully suggest story ideas that educate, enlighten, and entertain, and they really have a handle on the kinds of things that women truly need to know.

At EcoSalon, we receive our fair share of email pitches (whether they fit our sustainable angle or not), and we’ve decided to give you a peek at this invaluable information inside our inboxes. These products, people, and services are 100 percent real, although we’re not always sure they should be.

Don’t Be Such a Betch, Betch
Ugh, you’re like, such a betch. But that’s okay, because, like, betches are totally awesome? There’s even a blog all about being a betch and how, like, fun it can be? You know? To get together with other betches and talk about betch stuff like the betches we love and the betches we hate and the future betches who are like, totally going to be cool, and calling non-betches fugly because obvs only hotties can be real betches. Because being betchy is way more fun than being nice, or cool, or being smart, or being a good speller. Betchin. (Betches Love This)

Meet Suzana

This is Suzana. Suzana is an “actress-dancer-creator.” Suzana was recently in a one-woman show in New York called Blood/Nectar/Glitter, in which she smeared fake menstrual blood all over her legs and pretended to eat it. Suzana likes wearing leotards in Central Park, being bendy, and inspiring people. Suzana is a very accomplished actress-dancer-creator. Why, just last month she performed a scene for a graduate directing class, where her performance was described by fellow students as “very impressive.” She wrote an article for Backstage titled Hard Nips and Such. Get ready to see a whole lot more of Suzana. (I Am Suzana)

There Has to Be a Better Way!
Are you tired of traditional, old-fashioned shoe bags? The ones that—gasp—permit your shoes to actually touch each other? Well, now there’s a better way to transport your shoes from here to there! Bhold Shoe Bags feature special technology that keeps shoes separate! It’s true! These aren’t your ordinary shoe bags – these bags have a divider. They also have other amazing features, such as drawstrings. When you use a Bhold Shoe Bag, your shoes don’t have to touch each other, since we all know how gross that would be. Perfect for men and women! Gifts! Also they carry other stuff! Only $25! (Bhold Bags)

So now you know.

Image: cogdogblog, maebmij, Sebastyne, Little Blue Hen