The Breasts Are All Right


Chris Jordan‘s Barbie Dolls. Depicts 32,000 Barbies, equal to the amount of breast augmentation surgeries per month in the U.S.

It’s true, I like breasts. I like them a lot and I’m not afraid to say it. Big, small, medium, it really doesn’t matter. What makes them so awesome is that they’re like fingerprints: no two are alike.

As these things happen, recently I found myself in a conversation about breasts and I couldn’t resist spouting my personal aversion to implants (both tactically and philosophically). The conversation occurred at a nonprofit fundraiser I attended in Malibu, California. As this was Malibu, there were a lot of souped-up puffy parts parading around, striking fear and awe in all who glanced their way. After discussing homegrown augmentation, another participant in the conversation said, “Well, don’t go to Columbia if you don’t like fake boobs.”

Then, the very next day an acquaintance told me all about her trip to Bangkok, which was taken for the sole purpose of getting her sister some cut rate cleavage.

Holy hell is traveling for affordable implants a huge industry. Who would have thought surgical tourism was the new way to see the world?

Journalist that I am, I fixated on breasts globally and methodically and came across some interesting information. Holland, for example, has the highest rate of breast implants in the world, but isn’t a popular destination for enhancement safaris. For those looking for a deal, here’s the 411:


  • $2,000
  • $2,600
  • $2,600-3,000
  • $2,700-$3,300
  • $ 3,000-3,500
  • $3,500


  • $2,490-$2,790
  • $3,300-$5,050
  • $3,900-$4,600

Costa Rica

  • $3,000-$3,400
  • $3,200-$3,500
  • $5,770


  • $3,850
  • $2,950


  • $5,000


  • $5,000-$10,000

Amazing. I had no idea that this industry existed at all. As a guy in defense of au natural, let me add to my case for just shaking what your mom gave you by sharing some startling stats: according to a 2007 Swedish survey, women with implants are three more likely to commit suicide than women who do not have implants and are also three more likely to die from alcohol or drug abuse.

I’ll say this, ladies: Do what you have to do, but know that there are plenty of men out there who just want to get on a plane with you to Thailand, India, Costa Rica, Argentina, Mexico and Singapore who love you and your twins just the way they are.


Images: Chris Jordan