ColumnSeven innocent Barcelona bystanders talk about love and sex.
I just returned from a four-day weekend in Barcelona, where my girlfriend and I sunned on the beach, hit up the best dance scenes, and generally went looking for trouble in a city that doesn’t have a bedtime and, por supuesto, trouble wasn’t hard to find. Especially because I had an excuse to talk about sex with whomever I wanted, approaching interesting-looking people and interviewing them about passion and relationships. In the following photo essay, I’ve collected my top eight favorite philosophies of love:
“Love is an improvisational dance, a contact improv. You expose a piece of yourself and watch how the other responds. What he exposes in return must excite you. It must summon you to reveal more. This series, this back-and-forth, must speak to a larger story, containing enough suspense and mystery to keep you longing for the next episode. Only this is a romance worth pursuing.”
“Love breaks you. Love shatters custom. It is the enemy of the quotidian. You can break somebody with just one glance, but it’s the bed where I can be conscientious and considerate. The bed is where I reveal my passion and offer-up my emotions. It is the only place I can go to show myself to another.”
“In Mexico, we have our values. In Spain, it’s different. Men aren’t looking for families, they’re pursuing passion. Here, I love having drinks and enjoying the company of men, but I draw a line. I’m just here to enjoy life, not waste my time worrying or suffering because of a man. I will not look back on my life and balk at how I wasted my youth suffering. I come first.”
“It’s better to be a woman. Women have more control of their bodies, their emotions, and of men. If I see a woman, I show my desire with my eyes. But I don’t approach her. I say nothing. If she wants it, it will happen.”
“French men aren’t tactile, but Spaniards are always touching and flirting – it’s a lifestyle. I met my most recent lover out of nowhere, just all of a sudden; we spent the night together, but no more was expected beyond this. I saw him a few days after, and nothing. It’s cool; I don’t have to care.”
“Love means touching something foreign and, because of it, finding yourself in a new way. It is the same when you throw yourself into solitude. When you do so, you may also find that you are whole. The more you know yourself, the more you can throw yourself into another.”
“We are best friends and lovers, but open to new people. It’s nicer without complications and better to pursue passion and love.” … “He loves fun, I love love, but in the end, it is equal.” … “For her, attraction is obsession; for me, it is devotion.” … “I love being with other men, but I couldn’t do it if I didn’t have a long-term lover waiting for me. I am particular about other men, though, so often just choose to be alone.”
Sex By Numbers is an ongoing look into the emotional and sexual lives of the modern day woman. Follow Abigail Wick weekly here for insight and inspiration as she explores the “sex” of women and the terrain they must travel.