RIP Ridiculous Real Estate: $75M Ode to Excess Selling ‘As-Is’


It was supposed to be “a monument to unparalleled success”, but what this absurd 90,000-square-foot Florida mansion says to me is “ultimate penis extension.” Forgive me for emitting perhaps the most evil laugh of my life when I saw that the unfinished palace started by time-share tycoon David Siegel is on the market because time shares just aren’t selling like they used to.

Siegel was clearly pretty confident when he started building this totally bonkers “look how rich I am” abode, which features thirteen bedrooms, ten kitchens, a 20-car garage (with extra space for two limos, natch), three pools, a bowling alley, an indoor roller rink, a two-story movie theater, etc. etc.

And for $75 million, guess what you get: a concrete shell. That’s right, this place – located down the street from Tiger Wood’s comparatively primitive residence – sits empty, sadly bereft of ornate wood carvings or details like the planned rotating beds. A virtual tour on the Century 21 website takes you through a creepy naked foyer with a blood-red branching staircase that looks like something straight out of The Shining.

Since Siegel ran out of money, the hypothetical buyer would have to pony up an extra $25 million to have it finished. It’s unlikely to sell anytime soon, considering that property taxes alone will run almost two million a year and there just aren’t that many billionaires in the world.

I have to agree with real estate analyst Jack McCabe, who was quoted by the AP in a write-up on the newly listed property: “This mansion is a great anecdote of the overconsumption that led to the housing bust, and it might be the poster child of such overindulgence.”

36 times bigger than the already bloated average American home, this mansion is – to me – a prime example of the mindset that is damaging our planet beyond belief and causing climate change to loom over us like an apocalyptic storm cloud. Our culture idolizes this sort of sickening display of wealth, so that millions of people believe that they have to own 20 cars and two limos to be considered truly successful.

Really though – 23 bathrooms? What does one do with 23 bathrooms? Delicately wipe one’s aristocratic ass with 23 different species of disposable fur toilet paper rolls? I’m dying to know.

Image: Century 21

Stephanie Rogers

Stephanie Rogers currently resides in North Carolina where she covers a variety of green topics, from sustainability to food.