ColumnEating in is a league apart during the getting-to-know-you phase of dating.
The term summer love connotes a carefree, casual relationship in which sex is sweet and simple – questions of long-term companionship are less relevant than good, old-fashioned animal attraction. But sometimes, that summer sweetheart turns out to be somebody who might interest you beyond the sunshine months. It’s this stage when “we’re-just-friends” becomes a courtship, and the time has arrived to invite him to your apartment for a proper, home-cooked dinner. Eating in ushers a new level of intimacy to a budding relationship. Maybe he’s dropped by your house for an aperitif before going out to dinner, which is all well and good, but preparing him a meal is a sensual and spiritual act that lends a new level of meaning to dating.
This week’s Sex by Numbers offers you guidelines, tips, and even menu suggestions for your first date dining in together.
Minimal Effort, Maximal Pleasure: A good hostess, whether it’s for a party with a guest list of 50 or a tête-à-tête over the table, attends to the details with a gestalt view in mind. Over-anxiety and micro-management undercuts the fun. Unexpected events are inevitable, and a c’est la vie spirit will serve you well when, as is bound to happen, you overcook the brown-rice pilaf or burn your index finger while pulling roasted root vegetables from the oven. It’s your chance to show how you are a live-and-let-live person who can roll with the punches, laugh-off missteps and, if the going gets rough, call in for Chinese food take-out.
Cool & Casual: Over-preparing not only curries stress, but can also come across as over-manicured and be a turn off. In the early stages of a relationship, nobody wants to be the object of too much affection. Yes, tidy your flat – it’s a reflection of your taste and values – but don’t go out of your way to scrub down the baseboards in the bathroom. You are establishing the environment for the evening, and a comfortable, lived-in space is more appealing than one that smells of antiseptic. If you normally keep a vase of fresh-cut flowers on the kitchen table, leave it that way – it’s casual and natural to you – but buying red roses or anything else that’s overtly romantic will stamp-out the vibe before it’s even begun.
Dress Down: Bare feet are sexy. So are jeans and a simple cotton t-shirt. At the end of the day, your best self is your simplest and most natural self, and playing it down is an opportunity to offer him an honest view of, well, you. Clean, air-dried hair that smells of all natural shampoo, minimal makeup and comfortable, cozy clothing set the tone for deeper intimacy and connection.
Bone-Up on Booze: The fairer sex is less inclined to shore-up on a private collection of spirits – really, how many single women do you know with a well stocked liquor cabinet? But investing in a small, diverse sampling of organic wines that includes red, rosé, white and sparkling, as well as a couple of pale ale and dark lager microbrews will serve you well as a hostess for all occasions. Better yet, ensure that you have drinks appropriate for palates of all persuasions and keep in your cabinet a bottle of sake, a Japanese rice wine, and soju, a distilled beverage from Korea that is low in alcohol and suitable for the preparation of cocktails.
Farm Fresh: Fantastic food starts with ingredients that are sourced seasonally and locally – the bright colors and vibrant flavors of organic fruits and vegetables from regional farms are the pillars of a successful meal. Develop a minimal, easy-to-prepare menu that emphasizes high-quality produce prepared elegantly and simply. Invest time and care into meal planning, but not too much – remember keep the dinner and your expectations of it light and casual. Serve small, healthy, artfully-plated portions in four courses – appetizer, salad, main, and dessert. Below, find a summery sample menu appropriate for novice and experienced at-home chefs alike.
Rustic Hors d’œuvres:
Thinly slice seven-grain bread from your neighborhood bakery and serve on a large wood cutting board along with a medium-sized bowl of crudités, (a pretty French word for raw vegetables cut into matchstick shape and meant for dipping), and include red and yellow Bell peppers, carrots, broccoli florets, and celery. Pair with small bowls of olive tapenade, hummus, and pine-nut pesto sourced from a local deli or organic market.
Grapefruit & Avocado Salad:
In a large bowl, gently toss pink grapefruit segments, avocado slices, and minced garlic with juice from a fresh-squeezed lemon. Season with a pinch of curry powder and salt-and-pepper to taste. Serve on a small bed of Arugula leaves.
Lentil, Fennel, & Blood Orange Entrée:
In a large bowl, gently toss cooked lentils with thinly sliced fennel and blood orange segments. In a separate small bowl, whisk together one part red wine vinegar and two parts top shelf olive oil, fresh grated ginger, minced shallots, and salt and pepper to taste. Pour vinaigrette over the lentil, fennel, and blood orange salad and combine well. Serve with mint leaf garnish.
Coconut Sorbet with Olive Oil & Sea Salt:
In a small dessert dish, spoon one scoop of boutique, organic coconut sorbet. Drizzle with olive oil and top it off with a pinch of sea salt.
Image: Evil Erin