ColumnWhy buy the bull when you can just have it for sport?
Sex by Numbers debuted only a few short months ago, and with it has come a veritable firestorm of fierce women flooding my inbox with stories and queries. Needless to say, you people are an impressive (and sometimes scandalizing) bunch. In recent weeks, a trend emerged among this column’s readers: namely, one-night stands. Whether you’re actively relishing in its minimal-strings-attached pleasures or simply curious about how to play the field, it seems ladies are of the consensus that life might be sweeter if you adhere to this adage: Why buy the bull when you can just have it for sport?
Be it an email from a small town American housewife-cum-recent-divorcée or a globe-trotting French businesswoman, it seems casual coitus is at the forefront of everybody’s mind; and, if it’s not for you, then maybe it should be. This week’s column is a compilation of timely stats from researchers’ investigations into the world of singles and their close encounters. Without further ado, EcoSalon presents its weekly Sex by Numbers:
Maximum Pleasure, Minimum Effort
25 percent of women cite that the single most important reason for having noncommittal sex is, quite simply, that it feels good. 18 percent claim it’s their lust for adventure and the unknown. A smaller subsection, ninepercent, report that it adds a little oomph to their ego and just-needed pep in their step. Sex is a swell panacea for stress, eight percent of women report; and, all in all, having an uncomplicated squeeze for the evening just does the body good.
Making Friends Is Easy
Nearly 50 percent of women report that they meet their non-monogamous mates through friends of friends. (In other words, that tall, mustachioed man in attendance at this Friday night’s dinner party just might be the person to sidle up alongside.) Just shy of 20 percent of women say they select their short-term sweethearts at night clubs, dance halls, pubs, and bars. Online dating hookups, however, account for only one percent of surveyed populations.
The Time Is Nigh
During the bitter, below-freezing winter months, shacking up with a companion and staying indoors and under the covers makes complete sense. However, Father Christmas isn’t due for an appearance anytime soon, and nothing says Summer more than sex. 59 percent of women say their hankering for it is heightened during the warm months, and a randy 63 percent report that lovemaking is better when on vacation.
Blame It on Bad DNA
Bad as in naughty, rather than wrong – apparently, there’s more to (in)fidelity than meets the eye, and it’s encoded in your very DNA. People with a DRD4 gene variant are twice as likely to indulge in promiscuity, because thrill-seeking and dopamine-rushes go hand-in-hand.
Biologically, men might have it easier than women. Let’s say nature doesn’t endow a dude with a high aesthetic quotient – no worries, guys, because women ultimately fall in love with a man’s character, and once you win her over a handsome mug becomes less and less relevant. Not so, however, at the beginning of a relationship, especially a disposable one. Ladies are looking for the hot shit, and for every one woman wooed into a one-night stand by a man’s words, another ten report that their primary motivating factor for going home with him is his attractiveness.
You Know You’ve Done It
Nearly 75 percent of women say they’ve had sex for fun and nothing more. Remember the adage: Why buy the bull when you can just have it for sport?
Easier Said than Done
That said, women like pair bonding. A lot. Only 25 percent of women say that they are able to engage in one night stands without becoming attached just a little bit.
Sating His-&-Her Needs
Sometimes, staking out new ground for casual sex can be exhausting. When people want to maintain their singledom and at the same time take it easy, a powerful solution emerges: Friends with Benefits. This special someone doesn’t clutter your emotional life and regularly provides you with good times. An ideal arrangement with an ideal man whose presence in your life can be kept at a mostly effortless minimum – the stuff from which dreams are made.
The benefit descriptor doesn’t imply bonding. ‘Tie-signs’ include holding hands, enjoying post-coital conversation, and kissing. This distance helps minimize psychological confusion.
Fun for Everyone
About 50 percent of women say that uncommitted assignations are freeing and more exciting than having sex with a long term partner. What’s more, people often exhibit some of their kinkier predilections when spending the night with a relative stranger. Why? It’s a chance to explore your sexuality without the fun being bogged down with heavy meaning.
Sex By Numbers is an ongoing look into the emotional and sexual lives of the modern day woman. Follow Abigail Wick weekly here for insight and inspiration as she explores the “sex” of women and the terrain they must travel.
Image: Cia de Foto