Being an interracial family will always present difficulties, but ignoring what the heart wants is even more tragic. This is just a snippet of what mixed race families and relationships might look like today.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a man and a woman got married, had 2.5 kids, and lived happily ever after in their house with the white picket fence. Now, click your heels together three times and let reality set in. Modern life is messy, blended, childless, nontraditional, urban, homosexual, interracial, and everything in between. Today, there are no rules for what the perfect family should look like, but that doesn’t mean our choices aren’t without prejudice.

Much like my little family, we’re a less conventional bunch. My significant other and I are in a committed relationship, unmarried, and we have a one-year-old daughter. Oh, and he’s half Chinese. Being in an interracial relationship is not new to me, but having a biracial daughter is. And no matter how many times I hear an ignorant comment, not only is it shocking, but with a mixed race daughter, it’s that much more upsetting.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the 1967 U.S. Supreme Court decision Loving v. Virginia where it was unanimously decided that states could “not outlaw marriages between whites and nonwhites.” You’d think that after five decades of “acceptance” that there would be more…um, what’s the word? Acceptance.

A 2015 Pew Research Center article released data that revealed about 12 percent of new marriages in the U.S. were between spouses of different races. The information was collected from a 2013 analysis of American Community Survey data and goes on to say, “the share of adults marrying outside of their own group has risen steadily in recent decades, and this trend in turn has helped fuel the growth in the nation’s multiracial population.”

The piece also points out that “the vast majority of single-race whites and blacks who are married or living with someone report that their spouse or partner shares their single-race background.” A closer look at the numbers show that among adults who are white only, 92 percent have a spouse or a partner who is white-only. Single-race Asians are more likely than single-race whites or blacks to marry outside of their racial group (with 64 percent saying their spouse or partner is Asian only and 31 percent having a white spouse or partner). And among multiracial Hispanics living with a spouse or partner, 48 percent identify their spouse as being single-race white. Hispanic-only partners is 19 percent, black-only partners is 13, and Hispanics with multiracial spouses or partners is ten percent.

While the commonness of interracial relationships has increased (in 1970, the stats were less than one percent), we’re still nowhere near where things need to be when measuring emotional intelligence about it.

I wondered whether I had a place to write this article. After all, I am a white woman. But with the racist connotations from the recent election, and hateful vitriol on social media outlets being spread around long after, I was beginning to take it personally, even though I was technically exempt from the ammunition. I unfriended hateful “friends,” and had long discussions with my boyfriend about race, how it impacted him, his family, and ultimately what that meant for our daughter’s future–an aspect of her life I would always long to understand from a first-hand perspective, but will never be able to fully internalize and feel on her level.

Based on the data from the Pew Research Study, that eight percent of single-race white adults who are in mixed race marriages and partnerships is such a small margin that it does begin to put targets on them, as well. While white-only partners will never be multiracial, or face the same struggles, it is possible that they will share some of the brunt of the racism still prevalent today. Just being partnered with someone of another race could mean alienation from friends and family, undue hardship on the family as a whole, and issues for their mixed race children.

The three of us recently ventured out to a new play place exclusively for kids six and under on my daughter’s birthday weekend. It started out great. She wandered around the child-proofed venue, put lots of toys in her mouth (all of which were swiftly dumped at the designated sanitation stations), sized up the bigger kids, got poked in the face by an exploratory hand, and had an all-around good time. I was enjoying her joy and had already begun imagining a future birthday party taking place there. That is, until what happened next.

My daughter plucked a small frying pan from the pint-size kitchenette and teetered towards the business’s owner, who had introduced herself to us upon arrival, and another mother. The mother was holding a toy cat, offered it to my daughter and joked, “Are you going to fry the kitty?”  To which the owner said and chuckled, “maybe if you’re making Chinese food,” right in front of my kid. Fortunately, they could have said anything in that moment and she wouldn’t have understood, but I was honestly so shocked that all I could do was collect my daughter and head to the other side of the building. We ended up leaving a few minutes later and aren’t likely to go back.

Maybe I’m a “snowflake”–that person who’s easily offended or feels wronged by someone’s words. But like a knife, a bullet, or a fist, what we say can be weapons, too. This isn’t the first comment I’ve heard, and it certainly won’t be the last, but it does, unfortunately, mark the beginning of my daughter’s exposure to a lifelong battle with racism and stereotypes.

Related on EcoSalon

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Self Care is Essential in Trump’s America: #NowWhat

The post Navigating the World as an Interracial Family appeared first on EcoSalon.

You’ve probably noticed by now that EcoSalon has a completely new look! This redesign is long overdue. We felt the site needed a refresh and a design that allowed for better discovery to expose all of the unique content EcoSalon has to offer!

This redesign is a work in progress which means you’ll continue to see us test new ideas to uncover what works and what doesn’t. I’m not a believer in perfection (I would never get anything done otherwise!). Our team felt launching the redesign with all its imperfections outweighed any negatives that came with it. We welcome your feedback on the site design (and content!) so be sure to let us know what you love about and would love to see us incorporate.

As we continue on this journey down the path of what it means to live a conscious lifestyle, I feel it’s even more important today to cover topics that are meaningful and relevant to living a progressive lifestyle. It is my hope that someday everyone will become global citizens and start thinking about the longterm consequences of their everyday actions on this planet. The human-induced climate change is evidence enough that our actions are having an unprecedented impact on the earth. According to NASA, the current warming trend is significant because it’s proceeding at a rate that has been scientifically unknown over the past 1,300 years.

Former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson (former CEO of Goldman Sachs), the man who helped stave off the second Great Depression of 2008 and guide the nation out of its financial crisis, and author of the new book, “Dealing with China, An Insider Unmasks the New Economic Superpower“, recently stated in a CBS interview that there are two issues even more critical than the financial crisis: our relationship with China and the environment. He states, “When you look at the climate change crisis, it is cumulative,” he goes on to say it’s “more dire” than the financial crisis “because it threatens to change the way of life as we know it on our planet.”

We want to open the door to more conversations about tough topics like these that are important to you. We also want to have a little fun, laugh, play and help you look and feel fabulous inside and out with conscious fashion and natural beauty tips. Ladies, we want you to embrace your feminine sexuality confidently so you can enjoy more amazing sex, love and better relationships. Guys, we want to engage you more in these conversations and get your insights into these same issues.

With today’s broken healthcare system that’s getting more expensive everyday, we want you to take control of your wellness with prevention, which is why we added ‘wellness’ to our food vertical. We also want to have more conversations about solutions to our broken food system. And we want to highlight the people and companies doing good and creating positive change in this world.

Here’s the bottom line, we want to inspire you to live your best life and be your best self in a fun, inspired, way that also changes the world in the same way. We want everyone to live a conscious lifestyle, and have a heart.

Your editori-in-chief,

Laura Lynn Klein

The post EcoSalon Has A New Look! [Letter from the Editor] appeared first on EcoSalon.

You’re an intentional, conscientious person, but that same song that gets your booty shakin’ contains elements of sexism, violence, racism, or other flavor of bigotry. How do you deal with this cognitive dissonance? Can you listen to sexist music and still be conscientious?

Admit it: before you gave a good hard listen to the lyrics of Earth’s favorite creeper Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” it kiiind of made you want to shake your rump. Or, in my case, more than kind of.

While the rapey-ness of “Blurred Lines” has been well documented, its infectiously catchy nature causes a difficult tug-of-war between your brain and booty. What do we even call this special kind of conscious confusion? Musicognitive Dissonance? Cognitive Disso-dance? I’ll get back to you when I finalize some new buzzword for this phenomenon.

Even if there are more questions than answers, try on these three perspectives when handling the cognitive dissonance of enjoying sexist music you know you shouldn’t like, but just “know you want it.”

Cultural Context

Human behavior is often merely a symptom of a deeper psychological or societal undercurrent dictating the thought processes behind our actions.

Let’s step away from Mr. Thicke for a moment and look at hip hop as an example. How much of hip hop’s misogyny can be traced back to decades of institutionalized racism, hatred, and poverty? And regardless of context, why would we ever make excuses to be anti-women? And as a U.S.-born white man, what in the world would I personally know about any of this?

Ultimately, where does cultural context end and personal accountability begin? If I had that answer, I’d be the world’s greatest judge, psychologist, or relationship columnist.

Saving vs. Savoring the World

A female entrepreneur friend of mine whom I deeply admire lives her life based on a sage piece of advice: “Balance how much you try to save the world with how much you savor it.”

This perspective on music boils down to how willing you are to compartmentalize your life. You donate money and volunteer time championing worthy social causes; you support local business by shopping in your community; you try to buy organic and local whenever possible. Can’t you have the social consciousness equivalent of a diet “cheat day?” None of us are perfect — we’re all figuring things out and trying our best.

If you’re adamant about liking certain music for the beat but not the message it promotes, you’ve simply got to own it as your guilty pleasure while remaining true to your conscience through your actions and energy in other aspects of life. This perspective, however, can turn into a slippery slope toward one of the must fundamentally flawed arguments commonly used against homosexuality: “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”

So, is it “Love the music, hate the message”? Now my brain’s really doing the cognitive dissonance two-step.

Conversation Fuel

Even though the message behind “Blurred Lines” is decidedly awful, at least it has gotten a worthwhile conversation going. The song provides context and platform for a global conversation, and pushback against it has increased universal awareness about the ills of misogyny and served as a rallying point for thought leaders and supporters.

Some lessons are difficult to teach without real world examples, and though it’s unfortunate the conversation even needed to happen, at least the world is participating.

Follow Garth on Twitter @garthinkingcap

Related on EcoSalon

That Happened: Blurred Lines and Rape Culture

Stop the Slut Shaming Already!

Not Much Fun, is It? Men Stunned by Sexist Woman [VIDEO]

Photo by Simon Ingram

The post Can I Listen to Sexist Music as a Conscientious Person? The Cognitive Dissonance Two-Step appeared first on EcoSalon.

You will be shocked by the facts connecting our habit on social media sites and our hygiene.

Think social media is just a fun way to keep in touch with old friends and make new connections? Think again!

The infographic below, by Arjan de Raaf for Inforgraphics Lists, shows us a hard number comparison of social media sites vs. our hygiene.

Over the last decade, with the spike in global access to computers and mobile phones, coupled with the desire to create connections around the world, it’s hard to deny social networking is taking a top priority in many lives.

Okay, so we can observe and conclude this relatively easily, but the shocking infographic below shines a new spotlight on the social media craze: We are spending a lot more time hunched over social media sites than we are on keeping our bodies clean.

For example, in a single lifetime, the average person will spend thirty-eight and a half days brushing their teeth but two hundred and sixty six days on Facebook. Or, the fact that more America’s have at least one social media account rather than floss on a daily basis!

Sure, it’s fun to like, search, share, follow, tweet and comment — but let’s remind ourselves there is a lot more around us than the virtual reality. The concrete physical reality is irreplaceable, like a real smile or eye contact, there is no substitute.

Want more Infographics? Related on Ecosalon

10 Fashion Infographics To Give Us A New Style Sense

10 Infographics on Alcohol

10 Infographics on Energy

image: Infographic List

The post Turn Off Social Media Sites and Go Take a Shower [Infographic] appeared first on EcoSalon.

Why are we all part of Alec Baldwin’s public good-bye?

Whether you agree or disagree with Alec Baldwin is irrelevant.

The shallow media has had a dazzling run slashing actor Alec Baldwin. Following his altercation with a TMZ paparazzi, Baldwin has been hit with an outcry of criticisms and cold shoulders from the public, and the media and entertainment industries. His personal New York Magazine article published yesterday was a lay-it-all-on-the-line account of his life over the last few years, and why that was the last time he will “talk about [his] personal life in an American publication ever again.”

But why should we really care?

Alec Baldwin’s daily life — coffee runs, bike rides — all the things you and I do outside of our four walls without interruption, is literally someone’s job to document and sell. Baldwin (and all celebrities) has been trailed by photographers and videographers, just to capture an inside snapshot. And the worse the image, the better the story, the higher the paycheck.

His public ‘I’m Done’ statement speaks beyond him and his career. Between the lines of the essay, a power struggle of human dignity vs. entertainment lurks.

As fun as it may be sometimes to get an inside human glimpse of celebrity life of these beautiful, talented and wealthy individuals, it is nothing but entertainment. And yet, isn’t it ethically wrong for someone’s personal life to be entertainment? Their lives are filled with as much a mixture of doubt and joy as anyone’s.

For all the mindfulness that has entered our culture, so has the degradation of respect for privacy.

Think about it. The shallow media (which has grown to include most major media outlets that used to focus more on straight news) lives off celebrities’ personal, often sacred moments. Like when Valentino issued a press release promoting the designer’s handbag that Amy Adams was spotted carrying into Philip Seymour Hoffman’s funeral.

People, just like you and me, are experiencing their most hurtful human events, not only internally, but throughout news feeds around the globe.

Moreover, this form of media is distracting us from what is really news, like pivotal events that are happening around the world, such as the uprising on the streets of Kiev.

Rather than informing ourselves on how to create a better world we are matching ourselves up to people. It’s petty. So, no wonder why people are saying our generation needs a good ass kicking, and Alec Baldwin is saying good-bye to public life. We are criticizing rather than encouraging. Degrading rather than supporting.

“The heart, the arteries of the country are now clogged with hate,” says Baldwin in his statement.

And in today’s viral society the exposure happens quicker and more often.

“You’re out there in a world where if you do make a mistake, it echoes in a digital canyon forever,” said Baldwin.

Luckily, the truth is, we all have a choice as to which voice we will let resonate.

Related on Ecosalon

Consciousness and Compassion In Our (Stimulated) Universe

Celebrity Kids Vs. Paparazzi: A Bystander Tells All

image: Wikicommons

The post What Alec Baldwin’s ‘I’m Done’ Letter Is Showing Us About Media (and Ourselves) appeared first on EcoSalon.

Happy New Year! Welcome back and get ready for a rockin’ 2013! We are thrilled that Organic Authority, LLC (the same company that publishes OrganicAuthority.com) has officially acquired EcoSalon.com.

We are gushing with all of the support and love we’ve received during this transition. We are excited to pick up the ball and continue the EcoSalon conversations and get to know all of You, our beloved community.

Personally, I love change and am so excited to add EcoSalon to the Organic Authority family. As a company, we get to dig deeper into important topics known and loved by you, such as conscious fashion, culture, design, sex, food, and tech, that perhaps we’ve only touched on…until now. And I am really excited to be able to learn from all of you. If you like a piece of content, share it through your networks on Pinterest, Facebook, Google+. Stumble it, Tweet it out, and most importantly share your thoughts with us—please!—I love hearing your ideas and value your feedback.

2013 will be a spectacular year on so many levels! The number 13 is my lucky number (despite what many say about the number 13), and is a lucky number for my family. I was born on February 13th, my mother was born on the November 13^th, and my grandmother, born in 1913, would have been 100 this year. (She was a triplet! Did you know there’s even stronger luck associated with the number 13 when another 3 is involved?) So, this year is personally a very big year for my family and me; it’s one to celebrate, one to embrace—especially for women!

Thirteen is also a very feminine number. It is the lucky number of the Great Goddess, and is revered as the sacred essence of good fortune and good luck. It is the average number of menstrual cycles in a year (I thought it was 12, but what do I know? Science says it’s 13). Italy and China consider the number lucky. When Chinese women offer up their traditional mooncakes, there are always 13 on a plate to represent the 13 months in a full lunar year. In fact, it wasn’t until after the patriarchal revolution that the number 13 (and Friday) was deemed unlucky. And today, sports teams all over have embraced the luck in number 13. Dan Marino, an American football legend wore the number 13. Basketball superstars Wilt Chamberlain and Shaquille O’Neal also wore the number 13. Yao Ming wore it in the Beijing 2008 Olympics.

But who’s to say the number 13 is lucky or unlucky? You do! What you believe is your choice, and is exactly what you’ll receive via your worldviews. So, choose wisely, and make the best of your beliefs.

In 2013, resolve to embrace change. The world in which we live changes rapidly, which is why it’s even more important to: believe in You. Ask for that raise, pitch your idea, launch that business that’s been burning in the back of your mind. Stop procrastinating! There’s a reason why tech companies launch in ‘beta.’  They just do it: they get feedback from their customer, and adjust along the way (if they wait for perfection, they’ll be dead in the water).

Believe in You.

Listen to your intuition, your gut, and go for it. Ignore the nay saying voices (including the one in your head) and choose to listen to the voice that cheers you on and believes in You. In 2013, choose to live your life out loud, embrace change, and watch your life flow with ease.

I look forward to getting to know You in 2013.

Your publisher + editor-in-chief,

Laura Klein

Image: Pink Sherbet Photography

The post Welcome Back! Embrace Change and Believe in You appeared first on EcoSalon.

A round-up of what we’re reading right now. 

A fancy men’s-only golf club finally opens to females, here is why that is important and why you should care.  [Via LearnVest]

Animals and natural environments are clear victims of climate change, but talking about that in zoos and aquariums takes tact. [Via New York Times]

A sheriff candidate in New Hampshire says he would be willing to use deadly force to stop an abortion. Because that makes sense. [Via The Frisky]

Tiny houses really do make us swoon. [Via Tiny House Swoon]

Can creativity be taught? A Stanford professor weighs in on what it takes to unleash your creative potential. [Via 99u]

We’ve been told a lot as women, especially when it comes to beauty. But a lot of those things are completely and utterly irrational. Here are 20 of then. [Via The Hairpin]

Want to be all awesome all the time? You can, if you power up your brain. [Via Lifehacker]

90 Days, 90 Reasons: in case you needed a reminder of who to vote for this election cycle. [Via 90 Days 90 Reasons]

A desktop garden? This should certainly make you more productive. [Via Gardenista]

Women in Afghanistan have gotten far in the last decade, but as the international community pulls out, those gains are at serious risk. [Via NPR]

Image: me and the sysop

The post Link Love: Stopping Abortion With Deadly Force, Teaching Creativity and 20 Irrational Fears About Beauty appeared first on EcoSalon.

Video“Art can remind people that they need to care.” – Sheperd Fairey

What happens when you put a renowned photographer and artist together to work on a social issue?

Violence. Poverty. Death. Shooting images of the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota for the last seven years, photographer Aaron Huey was devastated by what he saw, his work turning him from photojournalist to activist.

“That was the moment it stopped being just about journalism and I actually chose a side. I chose their side and I I chose to say what they wanted me to say, whether it was realistic or journalistic no longer mattered,” says Huey in the trailer for Honor the Treaties The Film.

Honor the Treaties | The Film from Eric Becker on Vimeo.

Home of the Lakota Sioux, in Pine Ridge Reservation, sometimes referred to as Prisoner of War Camp Number 334, 90% of the residents live below the federal poverty line. The life expectancy of males is 47 years.

Taking his sobering work on the Pine Ridge Reservation, Huey collaborated with artists Sheperd Fairey and Ernesto Yerena to launch a street art campaign of murals and posters inspired by Huey’s original photography, giving the general public a visual of a subject often forgotten, or pushed aside, intended to spark a discussion of Native American treaty battles.

Spread the word. Learn more about the project and download the posters for your own dissemination here.

The post Video: Honor the Treaties, The Film appeared first on EcoSalon.

A round-up of what we’re reading right now.

Too busy for chores? Don’t worry, there’s Rent-a-Wife for that. [Via: Ethical Ocean]

How much water do we really use? You might be surprised. And not in a good way. [Via: TakePart]

If you’re into enjoying the sun, you might want to consider making one of these DIY summer hammocks. [Via: Gardenista]

Get hip and throw a Scandinavian sandwich party, your friends will thank you. [Via: Bon Appetit]

Inspire your own creativity; take time to be bored. [Via: The 99 Percent]

A simple video guide to what Rio+20 is all about. [Via: The Nation]

Celebrate in the fact that the younger generation knows a thing or too about being good people. At least some of them. [Via: The Frisky]

The beginning of summer means the beginning of travel season. Make sure you’re a good traveler. No wait, a really good one. [Via: National Geographic]

Image: x-ray delta one

The post Link Love: Rent-a-Wife, A Real Look at Water Use and The Importance of Being Bored appeared first on EcoSalon.

Japanese women seek a disconnect with routine domesticity.

The Japanese proverb “igicho ichi,” which translates to “one encounter at a time,” is a far-fetched concept in the multi-tasking, high achieving world of today. However, that kind of mindfulness and discipline is an essential component of the ancient Japanese practice of chado, or tea ceremonies.

Chado, literally “the way of tea,” had its beginnings in Japan in the 16th century when Zen Buddhist monks began to incorporate tea consumption into their spiritual practice. At its inception, the practice was reserved solely for men, however over time, women have not only become the main conservators of the tradition, but have used it as a way to assert their equality in Japanese culture.

Etsuko Kato, author of The Tea Ceremony and Women’s Empowerment in Modern Japan, explains in her book that older, middle class women and housewives represent more than half of chado practitioners today. Around the start of the 20th century, wealthy women and wives of medical doctors became the first women to begin the study of tea. Then, as economic circumstances improved, more women had access to household appliances and thus the free time necessary to devote to such endeavors.

“The tea ceremony certainly had an association with domesticity, so it became socially considered a ‘desirable hobby’ for young, premarital women,” says Kato. “Housewives after WWII established women’s own space out of the tea ceremony, away from family obligations.”

While its earlier manifestations had more of the feminist ethos, the modern tea ceremony is treated more of a novelty practice, owing to the fact that Japanese women have more options in areas of relationships, careers, overseas travel and education than they once did.

“Especially since after the 1990s, marriage is becoming less and less a social norm, so many women just work, study, and devote themselves to whatever they like, whether they marry or not,” says Kato, “More recently, [I hear] some single, working, economically independent women are learning [the tea ceremony] like they learn yoga or English, as one of self-cultivation.”

Far from being just about the consumption of a traditional beverage, chado is a highly social event that incorporates elements of architecture, flower arranging, dress, calligraphy ceramics, fine utensils, and cuisine. Women who are commonly taught the discipline either in Japanese high schools or by their mothers and grandmothers, must study all these components in their preparation to host tea ceremonies.

The tea itself is generally a powdered green tea known as matcha, first brought to Japan by monks after studying in China in the 8th or 9th century. Guests sip the tea from a singular bowl in a series of ritualized movements. With rigorous procedures and structure, chado is as much about the process of making and serving tea as it is about actually drinking and enjoying it.

Despite its roots in Zen Buddhism, the level of spirituality tied to the practice isn’t the same for everyone, says Kato. However, the emphasis on mindfulness and procedure – which lies in stark contrast to the ways of the modern world – is standard. Making the conscious effort to simply slow down is intended to help participants develop deep harmony and connection with surroundings, senses, nature, and other individuals.

“How deeply one sees spirituality depends on each practitioner,” explains Kato, “but many elements, such as tranquility and discipline of body movement, have a strong association with Zen Buddhism, even today. Even those pracitioners who ‘just like tea and sweets’ are at the same time attracted by the spirituality, even if unconsciously.”

Viewing or participating in the the traditional practice of chado is a privilege for outsiders. Various temples in cities such as Tokyo and Kyoto offer a shortened version for tourists, however a formal tea ceremony lasts up to several hours, includes meals, and can vary in urban versus rural settings.

No matter where they are held, the most important component of the tea ceremony – slowing down – is perhaps best represented by the Japanese character for “busy.” The word is a made up of two symbolic characters: the first meaning “spirit” or “soul,” and the second meaning “to die.” Through chado, one seeks to disconnect from the busy world bring the soul back to life.

Flickr: Nyaa_birdies_perch and Ame Otoko

The post Steeped in Tradition: Japanese Women and the Modern Tea Ceremony appeared first on EcoSalon.