I just got back from lunch with my boyfriend. Sitting over eggs and turkey bacon, I spent much of the time people watching – aka idly wondering if I could get away with an eggs, turkey bacon and cupcake lunch. Then I came home to see half my pony tail was flowing freely in the breeze and had been all afternoon. (Interesting how significant others can be unaware of the importance of alerting you to insane hair.) Yes, I had a bad hair day. But I didn’t know it. So does it count?
When a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? Yeah, sure, whatever – more importantly, if you have a bad hair day and don’t know it, does it exist? In my aforementioned case, no. But research shows that bad hair days are indeed all in our head. One study from Cornell reveals the “spotlight effect” is that causes us to zero in on our stray locks. Cornell University psychologist Thomas Gilovich sent a group of students into a room sporting Barry Manilow t-shirts. While the apparently tortured students thought the world was laughing at them, only 23 percent of the other students even noticed the t-shirts.
Dr. Gilovich calls this the “spotlight effect,” which has its origins in childhood. We are much more egocentric as kids, and apparently that never completely fades. As Dr. Gilovich tells it, “People assume the social spotlight shines on them more brightly than it really does.”
And yes, we all have those “friends” who seem to think it is their duty to inform you that your hair looks flat/frizzy/fearful. These are friends who always point out if you look skinny, who remain silent if you’ve dared to be bloated, and who like to point out the labels of the clothes they are wearing. I call them “the crowbarrers” and resign them to Dr. Gilovich’s 23 percent.
So if bad hair days really are in our heads, what does that say about our experiences with them? As Psychology Today reports, women “found that they felt less hostile, ashamed, nervous, guilty or jittery, depending on the hair products they used.” But before we regulate women’s mind to such simple shallowness – the research cited in this report was done by Proctor and Gamble, makers of multiple hair products.
So next time you feel like your hair won’t cooperate, take a moment to honor the brave Barry Manilow-saluting students of Dr. Gilovich’s study – and remember that most people won’t even notice. And if someone does? Point out that they are just exhibiting their own egocentricity. And then hand them a crowbar.
Image: papalars