“Don’t let toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and get them out of there.” – Marc Chernoff
Life is full of ups and downs. Friends, family and co-workers may hit highs and lows and with them comes the associated mood swings. That’s not what we’re talking about here. The roller coaster of life comes and goes taking people for a ride, but toxic people are here to stay, constantly bringing you down. Toxic relationships can stifle our creativity and keep us from reaching our goals, all the while self denial tells us that we need this person. Not so my friend, not so.
Some people in your life are hyper critical, judgmental and often unhappy with your success. Toxic relationships come in all shapes and sizes like complainers that constantly dump their life frustrations on you or needy friends where the conversation always revolves around them. Toxic friends may love to shame you in front of others or talk about you behind your back.
You can identify toxic relationships because you often feel less like yourself in front of these people. You may feel the relationship is one-sided or that the relationship doesn’t allow you room to grow and change.
Now that you’ve identified a toxic relationship, can you release it? Here are some tips to set you in the right direction:
1. Face the truth.
Toxic relationships involve a lot of self denial. Often times, we don’t want to admit what these people do to our inner gods and goddesses. We let them rule our being for worse, not better. Using the criteria above, get real about your toxic relationships and get rid of those who drain you dry.
2. Seek help.
Sometimes you may need help getting out of a relationship (especially a toxic romantic relationship). In this case, the brave unknown may be too much to bear. Or you’re just scared of their reaction to your impending exit. Don’t be afraid to seek help from a counselor, life coach or a good friend.
3. Feel the pain.
In my life, I’ve had one relationship that took its toll. I knew it was toxic but couldn’t deal with the pain of leaving it behind. The pain was real, and once I allowed myself to feel the pain and admit I had fallen apart, it finally started to lift. Once in a while I look back to those times with a sense of pride. I fell apart but I was more resilient for it, and in the process, I learned a whole lot about myself.
4. In the end, honor you.
By being honest, letting go and facing the pain you’re honoring yourself.
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