8 Flirting Tips for the Flirt-ically Challenged

Woman holding up sign

You’ve read up on plenty of flirting tips, but nothing’s working – what gives?

There are two types of women in the world: Those who can take a set of flirting tips and rock them, and those who… well, the opposite. If you’re on team flirt-ically challenged, welcome to the club. I’m seriously thinking about getting some t-shirts made. All is not lost though, my grasshoppers.

From my vast knowledge of flirting fails, here are 8 flirting tips you must carry with you at all times:

1. Don’t try to act casual if you’re not a casual person

If you’re not a laid back woman whose personality constitutes being followed around with a wind machine, then don’t try to act this way to impress a guy. You want him to be interested in you for exactly who you are – which isn’t as terrifying as it sounds, I promise!

2. Don’t laugh at everything he says

You know, unless you’re hitting on Jimmy Fallon (but since he’s married, don’t). Laugh when you think something’s legitimately funny, not when you think you should be laughing. Also, there are those of us who are shy and automatically giggle after every sentence naturally – don’t try to shut this part of yourself off. I’ve tried and it makes me come off like a cardboard cutout. Although it doesn’t feel like it, your adorkable qualities are part of your charm.

3. Don’t worry about how you look

I don’t live by many flirting tips, but my primary strategy is not obsessing over how I look and focusing more on how I feel. Put effort into your appearance on your way out the door, but for the rest of the night breath out and avoid mirrors at all costs. Work on your flirting skills from the inside out.

4. Don’t hover around him like a vulture

Trying to make eye contact is a good thing. Staring isn’t. Making sure you’re in his general vicinity is a good thing. Stalking isn’t. Don’t come on too strong – otherwise, he’ll look into his commitment-phobic crystal ball and assume a suffocating relationship is in his future if he takes one step closer.

5. Don’t whip your hair back and forth

I’ve tried so many flirting tips over the years, it’s either ambitious or sad. One tip I’ve seen floating around a lot has to do with actions like flipping your hair and playing with your necklace – done right, it’s a move that can come off seductive. However, if you’re not naturally this way, you’re going to come off nervous and twitchy. Proceed with caution.

6. Don’t look at your phone

Thanks to technology, the first thing we do during an awkward silence is check our cell phone for the no messages we’ve received since checking it five seconds ago. Even though it’s simply a nervous habit, he might take it to mean you’re bored with the conversation. If you can make it through an entire year before the next “Orange Is the New Black” binge-fest, you can make it through an awkward throat-clearing or two.

7. Don’t chicken out

This is one of those obvious flirting tips, but don’t lose your nerve. Making yourself look like an ass in front of a cute guy is so much better than wondering, “What if?” You’ll score major brownie points right off the bat that will make up for any nervousness.

8. Don’t text him two seconds after meeting him

If you’ve scored his digits, don’t send him a “casual” so-great-meeting-you text just as he’s out of your sight – otherwise, you’ll never see him again and all of your hard work (and perhaps hyperventilating) will have been for nothing.

What flirting tips have worked best for you?

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Image: Laura Barberis

Krissy Brady

Krissy Brady is a women’s health + lifestyle writer who’s so out of shape, it’s like she has the innards of an 80-year-old. Instead of learning how to crochet, she decided to turn her emotional baggage into a writing career (genius, no?). You can follow her shenanigans on Twitter (you know, if you want).