If your sex drive is MIA, word is a vagina massage can help you do some serious sexual healing.
There are plenty of reasons to visit a massage therapist—a pulled muscle, a sore back, or just because you deserve it—but have you ever considered indulging in a professional vagina massage? Yeah, me neither.
Called a yoni massage (yoni is the Sanskrit word for vagina, which loosely translated means “sacred space”), the focus isn’t so much on locating your long lost orgasm, but on building a stronger bond between you and your sexuality. (Translation: You’ll score a steamier sex life.) If you’ve had crappy sexual experiences in the past or are healing from a sexual trauma, a yoni massage can help you regain control of your sex life.
According to Cosmopolitan, you can now schedule a yoni massage in most major cities in the West, and it’s becoming part of a “growing movement of sexual healing for women”:
“The most famous example of the rise in spiritual sex therapy is the orgasmic meditation group OneTaste, which, according to journalist Sarah Barmak, has gone from having about 50 members to tens of thousands in just a few years. Barmak also cites Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts in New York, which teaches women how to master their “power, pleasure and spirit,” and Instagram phenom Kim Anami, who lifts vaginal weights while traveling the world and promises to make her students into ‘well-fucked women.'”
The process starts with a full-body massage to trigger relaxation (and hopefully a sense of comfort and trust with your masseuse), followed by a gentle massage of the outside of your vagina and clitoris. The masseuse doesn’t enter your vagina without asking permission, helping you regain a sense of power you may have lost somewhere along the line.
True, many of us resist our sexuality and build walls so as to not get hurt, but I have to ask: How exactly does a stranger poking and prodding your nether regions awaken your suppressed libido? Mine would probably be all, “Peace out!” and I’d never hear from it again. In all seriousness, I don’t think I could get past the whole “pap smear” vibe for the experience to do me any good.
There’s also the issue of credibility. What kind of training do you have to go through to become a yoni masseuse? Not to get all neurotic or anything, but some wacko could easily print a degree off the Internet, light a few scented candles, and drop words like “tantric” and “chi” while violating you sexually and taking your money. For the sake of our dignity, maybe it would be best to consider this “service” the female version of a happy ending and call it a day.
Then again, maybe it’s just my blocked chi talking.
Then again again (ha), being that this whole vagina massage thing is supposed to come from a place of love and respect, it could be a great way to generate a stronger bond with your partner. Consider it foreplay 2.0: getting in touch with your sexuality while learning to trust your partner in the most intimate way imaginable. Plus, if you have to deal with the occasional boredom that surfaces when giving a BJ, the least he can do is return the favor, amiright?
The most compelling aspect of the yoni massage is that it’s not about the orgasm—because in making it about the big O, it becomes about the person giving the massage and not the woman receiving it, which totally defeats the purpose. And let’s face it: Many of us don’t hit the jackpot because we’re so focused on doing so that we leave our vagina vulnerable to stage fright.
A yoni massage can last a few minutes or a few hours, but what matters is the bond it creates between the two… well, technically, three of you. This should be the one area of your life where there’s no plans and no goals—and no emotional blockages. It should be about the journey and not the destination, and a yoni massage just might help you keep your priorities in check.
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Massage image via Shutterstock