Orgasmic Meditation and Pleasure as Practice (Part I): Sexual Healing


ColumnDo you meditate? Do you like to orgasm? Orgasmic Meditation or “OM” puts these two practices together like the ultimate Reese’s: you definitely want this pleasurable peanut butter in your chocolate.

I’m about to explode everything you ever thought you knew about orgasm. In this column, we’ve talked about the amazing benefits of the Big O, for both the brain and the body. We’ve talked about how to get yourself there more often, and even how to eat your way to a better orgasm. Now we’re going to have a frank discussion about a practice called OM, or Orgasmic Meditation. An organization called One Taste, based in San Francisco and founded by Nicole Daedone, has begun spreading the good word about OM far and wide. Daedone is the author of “Slow Sex” and the woman behind this liberating TED Talk.

Orgasmic Meditation, put simply, is a practice like yoga, pranic breath work, chanting, or traditional transcendental meditation – the more you do it, the more tuned in (and in this case, turned on) you get. What it actually is might freak you out at first: it’s the practice of 15-minute sessions of stimulation of the upper-left hand quadrant of the clitoris by a fully-clothed partner. The 15-minute session length is key – this is considered to be the “container” for the experience, much like a psychotherapy session provides a container for the outpourings of your psyche. It’s a safe space.

OM, according to the OM Essentials Guide that you get when you sign up for their course, is not sex. Don’t confuse it with sex. It’s a sexual practice, but it’s not sex. Like meditation, it’s a goalless practice – the journey itself is the goal. But one of its most profound benefits, according to One Taste, is that it deepens human connection.

There is a stroker and a strokee. You could, of course, bring yourself to orgasm on your own (AND YOU SHOULD) but OM is about letting someone else guide you there, so the hyper-vigilant part of your brain can relax completely. This is the part of you that worries about the shape of your thighs during sex. Women’s brains appear to have more of a tendency toward hyper-vigilance — we’re perennially “tired but wired”. The point is to turn this part of your brain OFF, and with practice, to keep it turned off all the time. That’s where the mind-opening (and some say mind-bending) happens. You and your vibrator are a great pair, but OM lives in a separate space. It is wholly different than just getting off.

Although I’m new(ish) to OM (I read “Slow Sex” years ago, but only just began to follow the work of One Taste), the thing I like best about OM is that it inherently calls out and kills the ugly beast we call shame. They do this with language – by using raw, stark names for our body parts: “P*ssy”, “C*ck”, etc. And perhaps the most uncomfortable, but deeply transformative part of the practice – the stroker, before he begins any touch, describes his partner’s soon-to-be-stroked labia/vulva/vagina in detail. He/she basically tells you what he sees. All meditative practices aim to get you out of your head, but OM really puts you to the test by making you completely vulnerable first. Wow, right?

Their website describes a host of other benefits from OM, including:

* Increases Overall Vitality. It lights you up from the inside out.
* Increases Overall TurnON. When you’re TurnedON, things flow.
* Increases Energy. There’s a well of energy that lives inside of you.
* Increases libido. You’ll want sex more.
* Reduces stress & irritability.
* Increases ability to feel and know desire. You’ll be clear on what you want.
* Lengthens orgasmic pleasure during intercourse. Yes, that “place” extends.
* Increases confidence with your body & in the bedroom.
* Gain skills of concentration & attention.
* Addresses chronic dissatisfaction. TurnON alters dissatisfaction.
* Increases intimacy with your partner. OM creates more communication.
* You will communicate better & feel more connected.

Stay tuned for part 2: I’m taking a livestream OM course this weekend. Can’t wait to fill you in.

Got a question for Stefanie? Email stefanie at ecosalon dot com, and she’ll answer it in the next Sexual Healing column.

Read Orgasmic Meditation and Pleasure As Practice (Part II) here.

Keep in touch with Stefanie on Twitter@ecosexuality

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Stefanie Iris Weiss

Stefanie Iris Weiss is the author of nine books, including her latest title–Eco-Sex: Go Green Between the Sheets and Make Your Love Life Sustainable (Crown Publishing/Ten Speed Press, 2010). She keeps her carbon footprint small in New York City, where she writes about sustainability, sexuality, reproductive rights, dating and relationships, politics, fashion, beauty, and more. Stefanie is a regular contributor to British Elle, and has written for Above Magazine, Nerve, The Daily Green, Marie Claire, EcoSalon and Teen Vogue, to name a few. Her HuffPost blog is sometimes controversial. Stefanie is an on-and-off adjunct professor when not busy writing and teaching about sustainable love. A vegetarian and eco-activist since her teen years, Stefanie has made her passion into her work, and she wouldn't want it any other way. She believes that life is always better when there's more pleasure, and sustainable satisfaction is the best kind. Learn more about her various projects at and follow her on Twitter: @ecosexuality.